Packing for Idiots (Me)

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Mind you, this post is coming from the worst packer in the history of packing, so you’re welcome for absolutely nothing.

Precap: Covering what to bring on a Weekend Vacation/Quick Getaway to see your Besties when you’re going from cold climate to a warmer climate. AKA anywhere from the Northeast during Snowpocalypse Winter 2014 to anywhere South of the Border. The border is like Washington D.C. for me apparently?

Denim. Dark denim or black denim or black skinny pants. A MUST – can be worn both daytime & nighttime and literally you can never go wrong with black pants. Also a dress & tights with boots – done.  Jacket – necessary. Layers, duh.

Sneakers – be honest with yourself here because this is a make it or break it item. Sneakers & work out clothes are either something that will waste space in your luggage or you’re really going to miss if you don’t bring. Probably whichever decision you go with, you’re going to regret and wish you had chosen the opposite. Bring sneakers – you will not be able to find a moment to go for a run or work out. Don’t bring them? Plan on having the most active weekend of your life where you either have to squeeze in your friend’s sneakers (she wears a size smaller than you) or buy new.

If all else fails, JUST BRING IT. If you urgently need to, you can always re-buy whatever you forgot. Head to Target and buy a pair of $17.99 sneakers? I mean, good luck with those– but it’s do-able.

My outlook on packing is that I would rather try to pack everything in a carry-on than check luggage, unless it’s absolutely necessary. I do not enjoy baggage claim after sitting on a flight, not one bit. I also like to have major ideas and options available. Do you see the problem here? The collision of two really poor choices? Yeah…. I know. Options are necessary. Because if the vibe changes, I want to be able to keep up. Always pack dressier than you predict. In my opinion, it’s much easier to dress down an outfit than to dress up a pair of boyfriend jeans. I’m lying again. Both are easy to do if you have the right pieces – but remember, you’re on a quick weekend trip with limited options, not in your bedroom with extensive closet options.

Bring interchangeable items so that you can go either way with wardrobe/style/weather/comfort/setting. A daytime flannel doubles as a super casual shirt/jacket over your LBD – turning it very casual for a bar at night versus a fancier dinner or club at night with a chic blazer. Make sure you bring a structured jacket or blazer for all purpose wear. (Blazer/jacket can double as your coat on the plane, your going out at night and your with jeans for lunch in the afternoon).

Scarves are my JAM! Completely changes the way that black tshirt looked that you wore on your flight here and you can wear it again tomorrow during the day with an added floral scarf. Neutral t-shirts/tank tops are as well. Here is the only time where being “basic” is OK – this is the only place though, really. Neutral t-shirts like heather gray, black, white, beige/tan, charcoal – these go with anything and everything. Sorry basics – not sorry. XO Neutral.

Never forget obvious necessities – medications, iPhone chargers, iPad w/ charger, toiletries, UNDERWEAR, socks, cashmere scarf that doubles as a blanket on your flight (much more necessary than originally thought), makeup, brush, blowdrier if needed. To make sure I don’t forget things – I go through my morning routine in my head and write it down. Like every step from the moment I open my eyes until the moment I walk out the door – shower, after shower, getting dressed, brushing teeth,  this is getting so boring I don’t want to write about it anymore.

By the way, I’m not packing the sneakers.

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Avocado Toast at Cafe Gitane

Avocado Toast at Cafe Gitane

My love for anything avocado has deepened after dining at Café Gitane on Mott Street. Shopping in Soho gets tiring and this girl gets hungry quite easily. Also, low blood sugar. A friend of a friend recommended that I “must go to Cafe Gitane to try their avocado toast, get a coffee and relax in the middle of the afternoon. It’s an easy place to sit back and people watch. It’s. So. YUM.” My eyes perked right up and headed there immediately. Avocado Toast?! What is this?!?!!!?!?! MUST TRY ASAP. This is the only place to get the absolute best avocado on toast. This version comes on thick, hearty multi-grain toast, with lemon juice, olive oil and red pepper flakes. Literally, nothing beats Café Gitane’s version — a little salt and heat mixed with the creaminess of the avocado makes it extremely satisfying. AND SO YUM! Highly recommend. The really sweet waitress even charged my iPhone while I was seated at the bar. Cappuccino was delish as well. Highly recommend, especially to avocado lovers and foodies all around.

Natural & Subtle Pinks

My obsession with designer makeup with REAL. I got completely sucked into buying more things I don’t need at the makeup counter yet again. Shocking absolutely nobody. Thanks, NARS Soho. xo

I also did a drug-store make-up haul recently at Target, which I’ll post about later this week – product reviews and how they compare to the “real deal.”

Have been completely lusting over these new purchases though!

NARS Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in “Roman Holiday.” Also comes as a Sheer Lipstick. Perfect shade of light pink. Great for daytime use. Grade = A, love the coverage, great for layering with a sheer or pink hued lip gloss over top.

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“The application of a lipstick combined with the convenience of a pencil in a jumbo crayon design. Lips are instantly saturated with rich pigments and a velvety matte finish. The long lasting, non-drying formula is enriched with emollients for a creamy texture, while a combination of unique silicones ensures long-lasting, seamless color for hours. Use for lining, all-over lip color, or pairing with another lip product.”

NARS The Multiple in “Riviera”

Beautiful color, adds just a little bit of color to the cheeks, even added above my eyes as referred by Maria, the makeup artist in the store. Grade: A+, incorporated this into everyday wear.

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“François Nars’ iconic innovation, the original multi-purpose stick for eyes, cheeks, lips and body. Its unique creamy formula and sheer color blends effortlessly to create shimmering accents, contours or dynamic highlights on all skin tones. Apply with fingers: the skin’s warmth allows for perfect blending.”

Essie “Spaghetti Strap”

Grade: A. This is a fabulous pink shade for your neutral nails. Great for any time of year. Perfect if your job doesn’t allow you to have bright colored nails, very subtle shade. Great look for interviews and it’s great for long-wear because you never see chips on neutrals like this.

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“hot summer nights call for a breezy dress, strappy sandals and lovely, sheer pink peony nails. romantic manicures and perfect pedicures begin with this delicately hued nail lacquer.”

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Simple, natural nails & lips. Great for Spring 2014 for “to the office” chic or weekend afternoons.

“the most dangerous lies are the lies you tell yourself.”

Deep, Ash. Real deep. Today I told a friend a completely incorrect story about my life because I didn’t want to admit to the real way that things happened.

Why do I do this? Why did I lie? I wanted to tell the story. I wanted to tell it in my own convoluted way though, that made me look/feel so much better than the real story did. I wanted to feel better about admitting what had happened while still making myself look really good. Or at least, better…

I hope this is something that you all do, so I don’t sound like a total psychopath telling false stories. I think we all must do this. It’s human nature? It’s not like a harmful false story. And it’s honestly not like anybody would even remotely be harmed by the fallacies of the story. But still – why did I have to lie? To create dramatic effect? The story was kind of boring without the fabrication?  Like “OMG he was texting me all night it was soooooo weird.” When in reality, I texted him first and actually continued on with the conversation even though it may have been annoying that I was looking at my phone the entire evening. Same story, KIND OF. Mostly different because I portrayed him to be the annoying texter and myself as the victim. Victim is harsh – lol but you get it.  Nothing to talk about… I just basically made it something to talk about.

What it comes down to is that I’ve got to stop lying to myself. I’ve got to be OKAY with the way I behave and the actual story at hand. Why make something out to be what it isn’t? Just be honest. Or how about this? Don’t say anything at all. The “story” did not need to be shared – I went out of my way to share it. Just to tell it – maybe I wanted a reaction? Maybe I just need to shut the fuck up and start dealing with myself instead of hiding from the truths of every day. Come back to reality. On that note, I’m going to sit over here and have my cake & eat it too.

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GIRLS

Being a female and having interaction with other females is beyond fascinating to me. Are we always in competition with one another? Are we always looking for a friend? Are we always looking to protect ourselves? Should we be? Women hold their relationships with males and females much differently. Especially when asking for advice. I’m a firm believer in asking for advice when I’m dealing with indecision – honestly, if you’re reading this blog post I’ve probably asked you for advice before. Maybe you’ve asked me for my advice or my opinion. Maybe you didn’t, but I gave it to you anyway. Sorry in advance for when I give you advice or an opinion that you may not want to hear. Anyway, it’s human nature to care about what others think and maybe better yourself from at least their thoughts on previous experiences.

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One thing that truly sometimes interests me – (this is really fucking boring because it’s always the same story) is how females confide in other females. Girls spend hours trying to help give advice to our friends when they are going trough a hard time with their boyfriend/fiancée/husband/random guy that they’re talking to. I’ve found that females will hardly EVER take the advice that other females give to them. I have countless examples in my everyday life & I’m sure you do too. Girls are fucking annoying. I sit and think to myself, “Why the fuck did I stress out about this issue you’re dealing with…FOR YOU when you ended up doing the complete opposite of what I suggested?” This is a constant. Relationships aren’t constant but advice/talking about the relationship/having to listen to the relationship is beyond constant.

As girl friends, we should really just be there to listen –  and then let them be. I’m a firm believer that at the end of the day and in the end of the decision making, the chick will always do what THEY want. DUH! Aren’t you always going to do what you want… Eventually, at least?

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Instead we should just provide wine, and actively listen. Listen – after it’s been the 17th time you’ve heard this great and exciting story? I know. You don’t want to – I don’t either. I didn’t enjoy telling it that many times either and neither did your bestie – unless, she’s that type and loves to talk about herself. Which, I’m sorry! And, instead of offering up our great advice, wait it out. And then, don’t judge their dumb ass decision after they make it.

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Because it’s never what you suggested. Just know this. And be okay with this.

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Reese, this is the worst thing you’ve ever said. Sorry, dolly.

Women on the other hand, will  ALWAYS take advice on how to handle girl fights.  Never their guy fights. Maybe “fight” is a harsh word—disagreements, questions, unsure moments, drunk arguments?

Example : Here’s a scenario that is potentially happening with a best friend. I have suspicions and then confirm to have found out your boyfriend has been cheating on you. SHOCKING! (to nobody). You’re pissed obviously, so you decide to do something about it. You can do as I would do – punch him in the fucking face, I mean…talk to him about it politely. JK. What I would really do is think of some conniving way to bring it up in front of him so that he knows that you know, without actually discussing it. At least make this bro shit his pants for a few days.  To the girl you’re going to think about it and think about it. It will go something like this. “Here is my advice that I prepared to give you for the past 2 nights so that I don’t offend you. I’m obviously really trying to help.” My advice : BREAK UP!  She’s devastated. She cries to you. She’s never been this miserable in her entire life.

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What she does? Stays with him!!! WHAT? WHY? Because, as always – this girl did what she wanted, whether it was right or wrong. She “talked to” this guy, they’re working on things, he’s so so sorry and it will never happen again. Until it does, OBVIOUSLY!

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But whatever – It’s done and it’s not your decision. It’s worthless to give your opinion about a man. Especially, never give an opinion to your best friend about her man that’s negative — because when she continues to stay with this guy, you’re going to have countless awkward encounters and now she knows how you really feel about the loser prick that she LOVES. I’ve come to a crossroads because at this point I’m like wtf. I should’ve just kept my mouth shut and not lose sleep over it and move on. In the end, girls will 100% block out what they don’t want to hear about their man. It’s basically a proven theorem and if you don’t believe me,  you’re an idiot and probably have the exact man in your life that I’m talking about.

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However this is exceptionally different with chicks … You can give advice to your best friend about another friend like “write her a letter and buy her some wine” (basically beg for forgiveness for being a psycho betch) or “bitch her out and tell her how you really feel” (because she deserves it and if you don’t, I will). And it totally happens … Your girlfriend will take your advice much more often on this subject. They’re going to appreciate what you had to say, whether it was insightful or not and probably talk to the girl, or ignore the girl. Because we’re girls, and we KNOW how it is to be a girl. Like, WHAT? That doesn’t even make sense! But it happens. ALL THE TIME.

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I’ve started asking men for their advice regarding relationships. It still sucks, but at the very least, it’s honest. It’s not going to be what you want to hear – because it’s coming from a caveman, likely. But men are typically much more clear-minded with relationships. It’s either working or it’s not. It’s either going somewhere or not and if it’s in the in between phase, it’s going to be “worth it” to work on it, or its just not worth it.

Don’t show up to the fake shit. Leave it behind. It’s not going anywhere – you are.

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The choice is yours betch, do as you please. But remember that nice betches finish last in the game of advice & love. Speak your mind or keep it silent. XO

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Beauty is in the Eye of the Tinder Account Holder

“I learned that to live in the moment, you need a concrete heart. I learned that falling asleep next to a new person requires Ambien. That you will be judged by your morning music. That if you make breakfast, you are considered charming.” — Dina Nayeri, on being in a new relationship…

Much to my dismay, I’m going to admit to have downloaded Tinder. The dating app that’s apparently a glorified forum for people to hook up? I’ve heard the stories. And the nightmares. I’m over it, already – not my style.

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It’s a story of gains and losses. Gains: I’ve gained a bunch of Instagram followers (I’m kidding, like 7) and I feel so flattered by all of the men boys  guys? creeps on there that think I’m good looking….COOOOOOOOOL. Can’t take it seriously, I just can’t. I’ve perused through the app about a dozen or so times and have had quite a few hysterical conversations with people. I wouldn’t even count them as conversations – more like I’ve received a bunch of hysterical comments from people. I want to upload them, but maybe inapprop’s. I should also be a little bit private, right?

I don’t really get the hype. I mean the concept is great for people who are in that state of mind – looking for a quick booty-call if you’re too lazy to actually go out and meet somebody. Or you don’t have any friends who are willing to introduce you to their friends as potential dates. Who am I kidding — it’s fucking funny. I basically use Tinder as an ego-boost or if I’m feeling less than 100% confident – or sad, or over it. Gives you somebody to talk to at basically any time of day that you’re bored.

This video kills.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. WTF does that even mean? If you have pretty eyes, you’re basically in there like swimwear? Great job for you if you can see the beauty in a person? OK. Beauty is what you make of it? Beautiful things are completely subjective and everybody has a different definition of what that is?

Bingo. Which is why Tinder is maybe a great way for people who are totally not connected to get in touch with each other just based on if they like the way the other person looks? Or more so, the way they present themselves in the 7 photos they can upload onto the app? Because even if I think you’re a really good looking person, this does not mean that I would ever want to have a conversation with you. But you swiped “right” on my photo as well, so now we can chat.

I mean, I guess it’s not much different than any other form of social media used as a dating platform – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. We all post photos of ourselves, our friends, our lives – it’s all out there. This is just a slightly more creepy and barbaric way to express interest in a particular person in a mildly private manner. Unless I see a photo of a person that I know and take a screenshot and send it to my besties wondering WHY this person is on Tinder? Or OMG look! This person is on Tinder too! Or… when you give a person that you know a courtesy swipe to the right meaning you’re interested JUST TO SEE if they swiped you right as well – AND THEY DID. How awkward. And then they talk to you as if you both don’t know that you could easily text message one another because you probably have each other’s phone #’s from back in the 7th grade.

No need to fear for my life over here, people. No need. I’m just fine. I haven’t gone crazier than originally anticipated. My Tinder career is short-lived. Loss: Especially after some creep approached me at a bar last week saying he’s been watching me for the past 2 hours because he definitely knows me from Tinder. Then proceeded to tell me things about myself that he knows from obviously freakin’ stalking me.

Thanks pal – I’m good over here. By myself. Talk to ya later never.

Graphics

I’ve been on a frightening graphic tee binge lately.

I know – don’t judge. It’s real bad. & this is a photo diary. I guess about NOW is when you can start judging.

Like – $85 for this one on PRIVATE PARTY… but I mean – how necessary?!

& Beyonce.

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and from Nala LA

It's All Good Baby Baby
It’s All Good Baby Baby

& major vibes below…

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No Vibes Killed Ever
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RAWR

#crazy

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yeah, don’t kill it!

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#sidechick

and… yup.

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…because it will.

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dying laughing during my “shit happens” photo shoot equipped with heeled Jordan’s.

when I say photo shoot, that naturally means my best friend taking pictures of me.

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Photo Booth Action

& graphic tees just continue on.

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Miami Heat

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Vintage ACDC tee repurposed.

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Vintage Bob.

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Brian Lichtenberg

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Morning Warrior

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Bridesmaids LOL

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And I’m eating at the beat like you gave a little speed to a great white shark on #sharkweek, RAHHH!

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& i’ll even do a graphic airbrushed ghetto snapback. graphically, of course.

xx

February 14th: Celebrating Black History Month

February 14th: Celebrating Black History Month

Finally! Dressed appropriately for the holiday today! As if I would ever wear red or pink or have hot red or hot pink nails (IT’S NOT EVEN WEDNESDAY!). Celebrating Black History Month all February long by wearing black.

Enjoy your Friday! Celebrate Black History Month on February 14th specifically because it’s much more chic to wear black than to wear hearts. Spread love it’s the Brooklyn way.