Get Off Me Dude

I’m sick of people other guys telling me that I need a guy. Or that if I’m cranky or something isn’t going my way, the implied reasoning behind that is that I’m not having sex. Or that having sex is specifically what I need in order to be happy (not bitchy)?

News flash: it’s fucking not.

For one – you don’t actually know about my sex life because I don’t tell you about it. So. I’m probably having more sex than you think – or then you are period, because I’m not fucking telling you about it. Or giving a shit about your sex life, everrrrrrrrr.

Secondly, just because I do not have a boyfriend at the current moment doesn’t mean that I’m searching for one either. I don’t give a shit about that – I don’t have time right now. I have many other more important things to tend to and a really fabulous life to live.

Thirdly, I need to actually get my life together. What’s the fun in having a boyfriend or a man in my life to hang out with me when I’m not even sure of basically anything in my life right now? Which is why I’m working on this part majorly. It’s going to happen soon, I’m on the cusp of a grand breakthrough.

Step 1: Get shit together.

Step 2: Find a boyfriend.

Step 3: Enjoy life.


Is that how it’s supposed to work? I don’t know – having another person to deal with complicates shit. I’m already pretty messed up on my own over here – don’t really need another person to concern myself over and have pressure or stress from. So maybe when I’m in a better place with myself, I can start to consider any potential suitors. Until then, shut the fuck up. Don’t tell me what to do. Don’t tell me what I need or don’t need. Also, don’t assume that I’m cranky because I’m not getting laid. Because you’re wrong. And you’re also an idiot. And no, that doesn’t mean I want to have sex with YOU either, idiot.

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