Don’t exactly want to admit this, but I’m going to. I am not exceptionally fabulous at expressing myself verbally – like I actually may suck at it. Communication from a relationship standpoint is so important, yet surprisingly difficult for many. Relationships of any kind. I want to get better at making firm promises and positive decisions. I use the phrase “I don’t know” FARRR too much and I’ve noticed a major cause for concern.
Why don’t I know? That’s the question for my lazy response of “I don’t know.” How can I change this? Because it is not good for me to continue to say this. It definitely makes me sound incredibly dumb. You all do it too.
I don’t know is the biggest cop-out of our generation and I’ll prove it to you in these few short paragraphs.
I don’t know or “IDK” has become such a normal and standard response for any type of question – even when you actually DO know! People text “IDK,” actually they probably type “idk” because why would they spend time capitalizing text… and then a few moments later they say what they really want to say! Maybe it’s used as protection for a person because they feel their opinion or thought may be incorrect? Maybe they’re uneasy? I’m really trying to pinpoint why I say it. I think it’s because I am extremely indecisive and always want to leave myself a way out of a situation. For example, if I have a change of plans or a change of heart. I’m afraid to say the wrong thing. I don’t actually think about the matter at hand before I speak or type what I want to say. How scary is this for me? Very!
Why am I at this stage of serious confusion and how do I start knowing? I do know what I like, what I want and what I expect. How can I express it in a clear and concise manner? Does anybody actually know. Do you want to stand up for what you believe in? What your definite thoughts are? Or are you just going to back down to whatever the general consensus is because it’s a helluva lot easier? What DO you know? Talk to me a little bit about that.
I. DON’T. KNOW!
Thinking about your goals and writing them down with a specific timeline and due date can be very helpful. I love this lululemon guideline that lets you quantify specific goals with timelines. It’s much more difficult to do when you actually sit down and give it a try!
Another thing I’ve tried is an iPad app called Unstuck. It helps you work through all sorts of situations by letting you assess what the problems are and how you’re going to solve them. Free therapist!
Maybe some of these things can help with all of my “idk”s. Until then I’m going to fake it until I make it. And “own” whatever it is that I’m doing.