Losing Shit

For being a somewhat responsible person, I’m a CERTIFIED professional at losing everything I need. If I want to find something, it’s automatically missing. 5 minutes later, don’t need it anymore…. Suddenly find it. SOML.

I’ve honestly become a bit of a disorganized mess / hoarder lately. Saving everything, and it’s time to take a purge. I hoard papers, receipts, shopping bags, old mail, clothes, shoes, anything…. because, JUST IN CASE! I save ugly ass clothes because — Halloween costume! Or theme party!

It’s disgusting, so I’m going to make fun of myself on this blog so that I can start behaving like a normal human being again. I filled an entire garbage can (like big ones – the outside ones) with shit that I didn’t need anymore today. So, I’m feeling pretty good about that. ANDDDDDDD I’m having feelings about garbage, yes indeed I am. Ew.

I’m constantly on a “looking for something” spree. I’m talking about the “Where is my phone? / Where are my keys?” / “Where is my boyfriend?” <—— HAHAHA! kind of losing shit. Those things are a GIVEN. Obviously, everybody misplaces those things. I lose major shit – nonstop. Like my checkbook? Oops.  I lose money as I’m about to pay for something. Credit cards – well those get left at the bar every time I open up a tab.

Random thought….! Reason # 6538 (this number means nothing to me) why I’d prefer to be a man – never carrying a purse / never losing shit in the bottom of a purse / never losing shit ever because you don’t carry every stupid thing you think you need but don’t inside of said purse.

I lose clothes. Like I don’t remember where I leave things or who I lend things to. (So if you’re reading this and you have my shit, give it back. Thanks!) I usually find things – but far after the point that I needed them. Bummer.

I’m a huge fan of every piece of advice my Dad gives me – the man should be a life coach because he’s great at memorizing ridiculous quotes from famous people, yet never giving them credit. He’ll never reveal his source and it’s 100% because he has no idea who the hell said it. BUT WHO CARES. Because it’s relevant in this moment and he’s offering his kind-hearted opinion to his darling daughter.

“When things aren’t adding up, start subtracting.”

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Start taking Dad’s advice – a man of many words – far too many words, I’ll start removing things from my life that are no longer serving me. AKA I’ll clean my room this week. AGAIN. 

How to stop losing shit: HAVE LESS SHIT! 

….AND OBVIOUSLY THIS QUOTE IS BY ANONYMOUS – more of a reason for Dad to not know where it came from.

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