Weekday Manicure: Rad Nails

“OMG I really really want a tattoo!” – dumb girls, everywhere…

And here I am again, solving your white girl problems. ūüėČ

So here’s a cute way you can get a new tattoo without actually getting one. Fucking genius. obv.

I hear betches say things like this all the time…

“I want another tattooooooo!” “Let’s get matching tattoos!” “I want a lotus flower tattoo.” “I want a tattoo but I don’t know what I’d get.” OK, boring…

Here’s your answer – fake fucking tattoos, ummm duh.


Cuticle tattoos. How interesting.

I saw these bad boys from Rad Nails on Twitter (probs?) and had to try them out. They make 3 types of cuticle tattoos so I naturally purchased all 3 styles. Brought them to my manicurist Cindy to put them on me because I can’t do this shit on my own.


UMMM…. these are much more difficult than we both thought! After several attempts, Cindy just got frustrated, telling me that these were “weird” and not like the ones from China that she uses. I, of course had NO freakin’ time to be getting this detailed of a manicure to begin with…

So – we agreed she forcefully told me that she was just going to paint the exact replicas on my nails and call it a day. The design is cute – though not my style at all. Maybe I’ll try Rad Nails again one day when I have a LOT of time and patience.


11 Reasons Why Life Looks Better in Black

11 because it’s a skinny looking number

1. Black looks good on everybody. It’s slimming…listen to Christian Dior.


2. Black is chic. I’ve never seen black look bad unless it’s faded, then questionable.

3. Black will never go out of style. It is in fact, timeless. Not trendy, nor tacky. It works in every season.


4. Once you go black, you never go back? It looks great on every skin tone.¬†Image5. There’s NEVER a reason to not wear black. ¬†Black is always kind-of dressy.¬†Image

6. There’s a reason why love is deep.


7. I’ve never met another color that has as many emotions as black does. It can be anything you want it to be and it pulls it off every damn time.


 8. Black is punctual. It also means you never have to worry about matching. Anything.


¬†9. Black says: “Ooh, she means business.” Black makes anyone look mature.


10. Black also conveys a straightforward sense of being. Honesty is black. No grey areas here. Black & White for all of the right reasons.


11. Black camouflages any stains! Perfect for messy people like myself.

and for good luck ‚̧

* Black does not judge whether your clothes are expensive or cheap. *

I’ve been saying this all along

Life Looks Better in Black. 

frank body ‚ô•

‚ô• frank body is the babe.

the babe of all babe’s.

Screen Shot 2014-04-22 at 11.24.54 PM

“get naked, get dirty, get rough, get clean.” ¬†is the hot slogan of this sexy and clean skincare regime. frank is a coffee scrub that’s made in 2 formulas: “original” and “coconut &¬†grapeseed.”¬†I purchased the coconut & grapeseed formula because I’m less partial to orange (original).

Screen Shot 2014-04-22 at 11.23.55 PM


Screen Shot 2014-04-22 at 11.24.25 PM

Frank is natural & vegan and is known for scrubbing away dry skin, moisturizing, cleansing & clarifying. Frank is the man! He targets cellulite, stretch marks, psoriasis, varicose veins, eczema and acne. What more can you ask for in a man?! 

Frank is made from ground Arabica coffee beans, cold pressed sweet almond oil, sugar and sea salt. They all have amazing healthful qualities and will 100% change the feel of your skin.

After using frank – I found that my skin was extremely soft for days on end! Definitely smelled like a latte after getting out of the shower! Whether you like the smell of coffee or not, you’re going to LOVE what frank can do for your skin. Plus it’s fun. ūüôā

Because everybody else is doing it…




Check out frank’s insta for super hot babes getting dirty with frank.




love this Fake it blog on the frank body website. ‚̧

Clear Skin Please?! RMS Beauty Oil

Skincare is important because faces are noticed first – LE DUH!

Midway through my twenties (AHHH, I know!…calm down.. breathe) I’ve noticed that my skin is changing a bit. I’ve been recommended to try face oils instead of my typical face creams as moisturizers.

Oil products contain essential fatty acids that skin needs to stay hydrated. Oil also acts as a barrier, protecting against extreme temps (sunshine – for all of us sunbathers), dry climates & over-cleansing.

If you couldn’t already tell, I have a ridiculous obsession with skincare and beauty products. RMS Beauty has a TO-DIE-FOR¬†beauty oil that after receiving a sample of – I ABSOLUTELY NEEDED. OBVI.

rms beauty oil

Here’s a little FYI about your face & oil. Skin oil is MUCH DIFFERENT than plant oils! RMS Beauty Oil bridges the gap between the two. SORRY THIS IS BORING, but I’ll give you a quick 411. When your oil content isn’t balanced, your skin starts pumping out sebum (basically it’s stuff that clogs pores & causes breakouts). Eww.¬†SOOOO – when you cleanse your face a million times because you have breakouts, you’re stripping your skin’s natural oils. Your skin reacts by producing more oil to compensate for what’s been lost. That sucks, huh?! But it makes sense.

A quality face oil like RMS Beauty Oil will replenish your skin with essential fatty acids & moisture! Win. When the oil balance is back in check, those overactive sebaceous glands (yeah that’s a freakin’ weird word and no, I didn’t make it up) can take a break & your skin will get healthier and definitely clearer.
photo 1 (5)

The RMS beauty oil is a higher end oil – and as with most¬†all of my opinions – quality is worth paying a higher price for. At $74.00 per bottle (I used a 20% off coupon code for Earth Day!), this oil is providing you with everything that your skin needs. All organically & naturally. AND IT’S LIGHTWEIGHT. You’ll only need about 3 drops to rub into your face (day & night), so your 30 mL bottle will go a long way!

photo 3

My skincare obsession continues…

Losing Shit

For being a somewhat responsible person, I’m a CERTIFIED professional at losing everything I need. If I want to find something, it’s automatically missing. 5 minutes later, don’t need it anymore…. Suddenly find it. SOML.

I’ve honestly become a bit of a disorganized mess / hoarder lately. Saving everything, and it’s time to take a purge. I hoard papers, receipts, shopping bags, old mail, clothes, shoes, anything…. because, JUST IN CASE! I save ugly ass clothes because — Halloween costume! Or theme party!

It’s disgusting, so I’m going to make fun of myself on this blog so that I can start behaving like a normal human being again. I filled an entire garbage can (like big ones – the outside ones) with shit that I didn’t need anymore today. So, I’m feeling pretty good about that. ANDDDDDDD I’m having feelings about garbage, yes indeed I am. Ew.

I’m constantly on a “looking for something” spree. I’m talking about the “Where is my phone? / Where are my keys?” / “Where is my boyfriend?” <—— HAHAHA! kind of losing shit. Those things are a GIVEN. Obviously, everybody misplaces those things. I lose major shit – nonstop. Like my checkbook? Oops. ¬†I lose money as I’m about to pay for something. Credit cards – well those get left at the bar every time I open up a tab.

Random thought….! Reason # 6538 (this number means nothing to me) why I’d prefer to be a man – never carrying a purse / never losing shit in the bottom of a purse / never losing shit ever because you don’t carry every stupid thing you think you need but don’t inside of said purse.

I lose clothes. Like I don’t remember where I leave things or who I lend things to. (So if you’re reading this and you have my shit, give it back. Thanks!) I usually find things – but far after the point that I needed them. Bummer.

I’m a huge fan of every piece of advice my Dad gives me – the man should be a life coach because he’s great at memorizing ridiculous quotes from famous people, yet never giving them credit. He’ll never reveal his source and it’s 100% because he has no idea who the hell said it. BUT WHO CARES. Because it’s relevant in this moment and he’s offering his kind-hearted opinion to his darling daughter.

“When things aren’t adding up, start subtracting.”


Start taking Dad’s advice – a man of many words – far too many words, I’ll start removing things from my life that are no longer serving me. AKA I’ll clean my room this week. AGAIN.¬†

How to stop losing shit: HAVE LESS SHIT! 

….AND OBVIOUSLY THIS QUOTE IS BY ANONYMOUS – more of a reason for Dad to not know where it came from.

No Crazy Girls Allowed

F*** you, I’m not crazy.


Don’t call me crazy because I’m not submissive. I know I’m not crazy. I’m honest. I’m caring, usually. I’m truthful. And I’m very passionate about things that I love. And people that I love. And if you want to tell me that those qualities make me “crazy” then I don’t want to be anywhere near you ever in the near or distant future. BYEEEEEEEEEEE!

OH – read this article regarding manipulation and women being crazy from Yashar Ali on the Huffington Post.


Herm√®s – Elixir des Merveilles

Having a signature scent is such a specific desire and once you have it, you’re known as that forever. I’ve been wanting to have one for as long as I can remember. I’m super jealous of friends who have that.

Further explanation: You know when you smell a smell and you immediately think of one specific person because it’s their smell? UGH – yes! LOVE THAT. Sometimes – don’t love that – like especially if I don’t love that person. Woof.

I don’t have a particular scent – I have so many scents & love to mix and match them according to my mood swings. ūüôā

Admittedly, I smelled a scent last weekend at a cocktail party and freaked out because I knew the smell but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. I was having a sensory overload. I knew what it was, I couldn’t put a name to a scent. After a lot of deliberation, I figured out what it was and headed to the Herm√®s boutique at Americana Manhasset. ¬†I actually didn’t – I wrote it down in my Notes app on iPhone and went 3 days later.


The whole theme of the “Eau des Merveilles” line is of a fairytale. This fragrance “tells the tale of an imaginary journey at Herm√®s, the feet on the ground, the head among the stars. A modern fairy tale, bursting with charm and mystery.”



Elixir des Meveilles is sweet and smells like sex. It has a deeper emotion of scents than that of the Eau des Merveilles and works well layered on top of it. I loved the Elixir so much so that I bought it without the Eau. They also make an L’Ambre des Merveilles and an Eau Claire des Merveilles. They’re all in the same family and as with many Herm√®s fragrances, can be layered together for different mixtures.

The Elixir has has notes of chocolate-covered candied orange peel, caramel, vanilla biscuit (vanilla sugar, tonka bean), creamy milk, sandalwood, incense, resins, ambergris, Peru balsam and balsam of Siam, oak, patchouli and cedar.

Seems pretty foody, huh?! I didn’t really want to smell like a baby prostitute or a confectioner’s kitchen so I was weary at first. I was wrong. So wrong. I’m obsessed with the Elixir. It isn’t over the top or foody – but it is definitely sweet. Not as orange as the Eau – much more candy-like.

Elixir des Merveilles is an Eau de Parfum, and it lasts long on your skin. If I was into having a signature scent, I’d want this to be mine because it makes me feel very strong & pretty.

Works well while wearing anything black. This scent brings CHIC to a whole new level and is completely timeless.


Shawty Got LOW, Low, Low, Low…

I woke up at 5:04 AM completely wet. Soaked. One of those really scary low blood sugar moments when I wake up and my clothes are drenched. As if I just jumped in a pool, drenched. My hair is damp. My body is shaking and I have one thing on my mind. Literally my mind is blank – sometimes it takes me over 5 minutes of contemplating in my head whether or not I should remove myself from my bed to head into the kitchen to the fridge. I usually keep a granola bar or a juice box by my bed. A package of honey or a packet of sugar from Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts also frequent the nightstands on either side of my bed. Sometimes I drink/use them though and forget to replace them. I like to live on the edge and sweat it out – pun intended.

So after pulling myself from my bed acting all zombie-like and still sweating profusely, I gain an obscene amount of strength which basically makes me feel as if I’m the Incredible Hulk. I feel like a stampede walking down the stairs – meanwhile it’s probably not like that at all but it’s how I’m imagining myself. Woman on a mission: eat carb’s immediately. Sugarrrrrrr please!!!

I open up the fridge and stare. And stare some more because my blood sugar is far below the normal range and my brain is not functioning properly. I pull a bottle of Tropicana OJ out of the fridge and fumble to find a glass/coffee mug/cup I can drink it out of. Sometimes if I’m really desperate (also really lazy) I’ll literally chug from the bottle. Having low blood sugar doesn’t only make me cranky, irritable and/or moody – it also makes me very anxious and more psycho than I usually am. Lucky everyone! Sometimes I revert to childlike tendencies and start to cry. So about now I took a few swigs of my OJ and I need something else to stabilize the carb’s I just drank to bring my blood sugar up. I try to find a protein or some other protein/carb combo – naturally I decide on Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked. Other Ashley low-BG (blood glucose) staples are: peanut butter on a spoon, Nutella on a spoon, apple with almond butter, any fruit that’s on the counter, any & all leftovers in the fridge are also fair game…

After eating something I’ll usually sit down and stare at myself or rummage around for my blood glucose test kit. I set up my test kit – insert my little test strip and prick my finger with a lancet. Then I try to squeeze out a tiny drop of blood – except the vault is completely fucking dry. It’s the worst – so I have to prick another finger until my machine accepts what little amount of blood my fingers would like to offer up today.

finger stick

Just as expected! My meter reads a good old: 33 mg/dL.

Ummm….WHUT?! I just chugged Tropicana and ate like a half a pint of Ben & Jerry’s? And my blood sugar is still 33 mg/dL. I’m scared. I’m freaked out. It’s 5:28AM now – I’m all alone and why is my blood sugar still so low? Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety. Help. Scared. What do I do?

Pour another glass of OJ / Mott’s Apple Juice / whatever other sugar-filled drink and head back to my bedroom with a package of glucose tablets (Raspberry flavored) and maybe another snack.

Raspberry Glucose Tabs = Best Flavor
Raspberry Glucose Tabs = Best Flavor

Now I’m freezing. Because my body just sweat through my sheets. Put on new pajamas. Get back into bed. Chug more juice. I’m so fucking full – I can’t eat another thing for hours. I still don’t feel well – maybe I’ll try to go back to sleep? Wonder where my blood sugar is at now? Re-test. 54¬†mg/dL! Going up – yay? Still kinda freakin’ low – I’ll wait a little while longer and re-test again. I know I can’t eat or drink anything else because it’s 5:45am and I’m obviously not hungry and now I’m wasting time being awake when I should be sleeping. I drink another half a glass of juice, I open up some gross organic granola bar and take a bite. Then I fall asleep.

Fast forward to 8:30AM when I’m waking up late for whatever appointment I had this morning (missing it, obviously…) rescheduling that shit, of course. My face is basically stuck to this chocolate pomegranate whatever the hell gross cereal bar I half ate in the middle of the night. My room is a mess. I test my blood sugar, 245 mg/dL. WHATTTT THE FFFFFFF? WHY?!?!?

Wasn’t I just bottoming out at 33 mg/dL three hours before? Why am I sky-rocketed now? It took my body so long to absorb the sugar I was putting into it and not doing ANYTHING – to wake up this morning to high blood sugar. C’monnnn – just can’t win. I’m exhausted from not sleeping and I’m exhausted from having high blood sugar. Take insulin to correct my high blood sugar – which sometimes takes hours to come back down to normal range (70-120) – and try to function as a normal part of society.

How was your morning, people? Because mine was REGULAR.

Regular old morning for me. 

Pay Pal

The Black & The White.

black and white intro

So you’re going on a date – should a man always pay?

Danielle’s Take (Dusk & Rubies):¬†

Okay so to me this is black and white–no fifty shade of gray for me with this topic. I warn you that I am going to sound incredibly old fashioned with this and I am sure a lot of people are going to disagree with me, but that is what The Black & White is all about- sparking discussion.¬†

First Date Protocol: 
He should pay. Short. Simple. I think that the first date can tell you a lot about a person. I know you can’t learn everything from a first encounter, but you can learn¬†enough.¬†If he asked you out, then he needs to follow through. But ladies I also know it is also polite to “offer”, but if your “offer” turns into your treat, then ‘Houston we have a problem’. Ditch him. It will only be trouble from here.¬†

What about After The First Date?‚Äč


When should a man stop paying for you? Never. Just because he has wooed you doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be romantic any longer. Just because he has known you for a year, two, maybe eight doesn’t mean he shouldn’t treat you with the same admiration, love, respect etc. So, why should he stop taking you out to dinner? ¬†The answer is he shouldn’t. It’s not as if he can wipe his hands clean and say, “okay I’ve wined her and dined her every¬†Friday¬†night for three months so now I don’t have to anymore”. ¬†Let me ask you this Mr. Hypothetical Guy, what happens when Ms. Hypothetical Girl dumps your butt? Oh, yeah, you have to go through the whole dating, buying dinner, buying drinks thing you¬†were¬†doing all over again, except for someone new. See how this is a never ending cycle? In a recent study,¬†“Research [has] shown…that 84 percent of men and 58 percent of women say men pay for most entertainment expenses — even after they have been dating for some time”¬†(Men Still Paying For Dates…And Women Are Partly Responsible). Meaning, that if you’re still paying for your long term girlfriend you’re in the majority bro.

So where is the issue?

According to the same study although 84% of men say they pay for most of the expenses, two-thirds of men think women should contribute. Contribute being the¬†key¬†word–not pay ladies. Con-tri-bute. Maybe women can pay for the tip, or buy the dessert if you go someplace after dinner. Maybe women can buy men something nice and thoughtful every now and then…nothing¬†extravagant¬†just something that says, “I’m thinking of you”…like a growler, ¬†his favorite candy, or a couple of nice Polos. But this is a suggestion for someone who is in a committed relationship…don’t start doing this all the time for someone you hardly know when it is too early in the relationship because then it becomes expected behavior, which mean this is now something this person expects you to do, rather than appreciates you for doing it.¬†

Why are you buying a boat together?
(The boat is symbolic for anything really). Now, I know a lot of couples who are unmarried, but split everything down the middle. If they go on vacation: they split it, if they buy a boat: they split it, if they buy a puppy: they split it, and if they rent an apartment they each pay half of the rent. Everything is right down the middle, so it’s fair right? Well, what happens if you are the two to¬†split¬†up. Now you have invested all this time and money into something that you only own a part of. And, what happens if he makes more than you? Should you still pay half when half leaves you unable to save money for yourself?¬†This is when I start to hear my mother’s voice in my head and my old-fashion Italian values start to come to the surface. I was taught, as I am sure many other women were, that a man should know you can take care of yourself, but¬†wants¬†to take care of you anyway.¬†I think that it takes a very special guy to be this for a woman, and I don’t think there are a lot of men out there like this.
If he wants a boat, great! You shouldn’t be paying for it. Hey, maybe you want to contribute pay for the gas, or buy the life jackets, or help clean it up. Then, that’s great. But you don’t have to pay for half of that boat. I think people should tread lightly when buying an expensive item together if you aren’t in a steady relationship, or engaged. How would you feel if your ex got your puppy when you split and then¬†his¬†dog became his next girlfriend’s dog? Not good. I’ve seen this happen. Now on to the apartment, don’t pay half–contribute. Buy groceries, pay for cable, netflix, hulu plus, a land line however you want to contribute, but you don’t have to pay half. I know this is a shocker because so many people do split rent on apartments and you know what that’s fine for some people, but just know it’s also not your only option.
When it comes to finances be upfront. 
I am a very straight forward person. And to avoid as much confrontation as possible I speak my mind. If I love something, like something, hate something I say it. Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t but I have always needed to express myself. He knows that when we go out to dinner he is paying. But I too keep this in mind, I have never ordered the most expensive thing on the menu. I usually order a meal that costs less or equal to his and I try to choose a restaurant in his price range. We also take turns choosing restaurants so everyone always gets to eat what they want or crave. We don’t go out too often, probably to a nice dinner once a week, so that the bills don’t pile up.¬†
I leave you with this thought–just something to think about…

It has never been proven, at least I don’t think it has, but it seems to me that the way that first date goes is how the relationship will progress. If he pays then he will most likely be the sole provider, while if you pay then you may continue to be the sole provider. So the question is, do you want to be the provider?

Ashley’s Take (LifeLooksBetterinBlack):

Should a guy always pay?


I am not the type of person who likes to wait or expects people to give me things. I do what I want when I want and I hate waiting – no patience.

I would rather not wait around at a bar and flirt with a man and convince him to buy a drink for me. I would rather not give him the expectation that the $12.00 drink I just made him buy for me is going to allow him an “in” with me. No thanks. I’ll buy my own $12.00 Ketel & Club with limes and take it from here.


Do I think that buying me dinner is something that you should do if you’re taking me out on a first date? Definitely. Do I expect it? I guess… Will I freak out if it doesn’t happen? Nope. I don’t freak out about something like this because I don’t even give a shit. I would never go out to a dinner if I couldn’t afford it. (Neither should you). I would never request to go somewhere, not expect to pay for it. I would also never ask somebody of the opposite sex that I was interested in to go out to dinner with me if I didn’t expect to pay for them…

I’ve been in situations where I’ve felt guilty asking a guy to take me out to dinner to where I want to specifically go. If you don’t want to pay for something that’s out of your range – don’t ask me where I want to go to eat because I’m probably going to tell you something that you’re not going to like or that is potentially out of your price range. Rude? I just don’t think so. I also don’t expect you to pay. I’ll split dinner with you every time I go out because I’m like that. Literally, do not care. I’ll also order whatever I want not basing my selection on price or quantity because I want what I want and I don’t care who’s watching. I’m not embarrassed in front of a waiter or a maitre’d because I’ve been one and I am one. People who serve you, don’t judge who’s paying – they don’t care either. They will judge your tip – so if you’re out with me and you don’t over tip – I’ll feel extremely embarrassed. Then I’ll go out of my way to over tip and make you feel extremely embarrassed because you suck. Don’t even try it. I’ll never speak to you again. It’s over. Rule: If you don’t know – ask.

you are what you eat

So like, I don’t care if you’re going to pay for my dinner every time. Especially after being in a relationship with somebody. With all my relationships (friendships & romantic), all money always comes out in the wash. I buy something for you, you buy something for me. Dinners? Lunches? Coffee? Juices? Whatever I see at the store and want to buy for you because it reminds me of you? Whatever. I’m not really counting and if I am, it’s because you suck. I practice this throughout all of my relationships – if I owe you money because you bought me a drink at a bar – I’ll buy your next one. DUH – come on. If you’re sweating spending $ on me for dinner – I don’t want to be your friend, at all — especially not your girlfriend. If you don’t sweat it, I won’t either. If you want to pay for my dinner every single time – go right ahead. I’ll recoup by buying you something really awesome every once in awhile. And bring your mother flowers.¬†