How To Tackle: Marshall’s or TJ Maxx or Nordstrom Rack

Store’s like Marshall’s & TJ Maxx are great for a few things – basics & trends you don’t want to spend a lot of money on.

Basics like black shirts, black dresses, black anything, OBV. White t-shirts, random work clothes? Not your jeans, probably. Current trends maybe like pastels, or like mules. It’s also perfect for disposable clothing or “going out clothes.” Shitty tops or dresses that you’ll wear once because you can only wear something out once, basically. But you don’t really mind because it was under $30, better yet, under $20 so who really cares?! But you’ll actually receive a bunch of complements on this crap, leading you to re-purpose this low quality piece of crap purchase probably several times. WIN, WIN!

Step 1: Be mentally prepared. Don’t go in thinking exactly what you’re looking for is going to be there. It’s not. Actually, exactly what you don’t need but have a crush on will be there. Nice and expensive.

*TIP*: Know your budget before you enter. If you have $100 to spend – know that. Know what you’re searching for. And if you have an open mind – just try to stick to your budget. That is why you’re shopping at Marshall’s now, isn’t it?

Step 2: Drink coffee or tea beforehand, so you’re alert. And not sleepy. And can move quickly in front of the snoozers (old ladies, 30-somethings with baby strollers, bratty menacing children).

*TIP*: Go early in the morning. Be the first person to enter when the doors open. To avoid: “the snoozers.”

Step 3: First round of try-on’s – grab 2 sizes (if available). Do a full sweep of the store. You’ll learn that I never commit to anything until I’ve seen everything at least once. AKA – doing a sweep or a full lap. I do this at bars for certain, but I also do this while shopping. Never fully commit until you’ve seen it all.

Step 4: Be prepared to give away all of your prized possessions (other than clothing that can be tried on) to the dressing room attendant. This means shoes, belts, bags, any other random objects that you picked up along the way. If it’s a Home Goods/Marshall’s – you’re fucked. Don’t even look at the Home Goods stuff until you’ve finished with your Marshall’s try-on’s.

Step 5: Wear easily changeable clothing. Dresses are great – slip on shoes like ballet flats or sandals are perfect. Less that you have to take off and put back on the better!

Step 6: Divide & conquer. Decide what is a “Must Have,” a “Maybe” and a “Definitely Not.” Put them in piles or on different hooks in the fitting room. Separate and get ready to leave the dressing room for round # 2.

Definitely
Definitely – Like this!
Nope! Doesn't Fit! Don't Like. Sorry Charlie!!!
Nope! Doesn’t Fit! Don’t Like. Sorry Charlie!!!

Step 7: Give the attendant your Def Not’s – hang on to your maybe’s and must have’s. Do one more lap around the store to find anything else that you may have missed or things to go with the items that you’re deciding to purchase.

Step 8: Hit the dressing room again if necessary (but literally, try to avoid this so you don’t risk thoughts of suicide).

Step 9: Get the fuck outta there! Hit up the line as soon as humanly possible because in any moment you’re going to have a severe anxiety attack, as you’ve been in this disorganized crazy store for over 30 minutes. Being that you planned ahead and went early or late night (prime shopping hours), the line should not be very long. While waiting in line, decide how you’re going to pay for your purchases and have your form of payment basically ready to go.

CRAZINESS!
CRAZINESS!

Step 10: Be nice to the cashier, pay for your shit and leave the premises. Breathe the fresh air in the parking lot like it’s your last breath of air on this earth. You’ve made it through, girl. You fucking did it. You’ve conquered Marshall’s / TJ Maxx – and you’re still alive. And you purchased something to wear for tonight or tomorrow night. Good freakin’ job, girl! Congratulations. You now deserve a cocktail so head home and immediately pour one.

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