Practice your texts before you press SEND.
AKA: Don’t speak too soon.
AKA: Don’t get caught up.
AKA: Don’t say shit you don’t mean.
AKA: Say what you mean, but don’t say it mean.
Every time I’m faced with an interesting question or problem or “AHH! not sure what to do” via text, I hold on a sec…
Exit iMessage immediately. Open my favorite app in the history of the world. No guys, it’s not Instagram. It’s Notes. Don’t believe me?! Take a look at my stack. In real life hard copy and in soft copy on my iPhone/iCloud. I write notes like nobody’s business. In fact I write many of my blogs in Notes.
I’ve had Notes deleted from my iPhone and I’ve had legit mental breakdowns crying and screaming on the floor, until Anthony Luckie saved my life a la his pre-lawyer days.
ANYWAY – Write down everything you want to say in the note. Run on sentences and all. Nasty shit. Nice shit. Normal shit. Really really fucking nasty shit. Get it out. It feels good. But it didn’t make anybody feel that bad yet. Now, maybe your goal is to make somebody feel bad: here’s the trick. Clean it up. Think about it and revise what you’re saying. Run it by somebody. You don’t need to answer right away. You change your tone because you’re not looking to get a negative reaction, you’re looking for a positive reaction. Don’t curse them out. You basically clean up your texts and make them clear, concise and perfect. Your text will come across as well thought out and that you mean business not that you’re trying to be a dick.
Also – it majorly saves you from the elusive … (typing) dots.
Which are the ultimate worst gut dropping feeling. OH the person is typing… then erased. Typing then erased. Then typing. Then nothing. And still no text received? What’s going on w this weird person ? They clearly don’t know how to respond! Clearly they’re thinking about this way too much.
When you avoid the dots, you seem unaffected by something – even if it did take you 1 hour of deliberating and contemplating of what to actually send.
Once that shit is perfect, you copy and paste into iMessage and off it goes. Confidence is up because you take out the nervousness or changing your mind or anything else out of the text line. Now you’ve said exactly what you mean, you didn’t say it mean. And you’re free. Until the text comes back: “ok.”
Hahaha! Good luck with that shit!