TGE

TGE – Thanksgiving Eve. Also known as Thanks but Get me the Fuck Out of Here Eve.” Biggest party night of the year – great. Because I love oh so much to see all of the ratchets from my town in one single bar on one single night all pretending to love each other and “catch up” since the last time they did this a few weeks ago. UGH – sounds more like social suicide if you ask me.

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Old Faithful

 

Not that I’m trying to be a downer to a night of debauchery – because trust me – I will partake. I will be at the bar – I will go out with my friends. I will socialize with my (ex?) (sort of together?) (what are we?) (does anybody know because I sure don’t!) boy and my other ex and my other one too…OOPS.  I will probably say hi to people who I don’t like (against my will), just because I am “polite.” Not a fan of the awkwardness though – I’ll totally avoid a person and not speak to him/her just so I don’t have to deal with awkward conversations. Just saying – If we aren’t friends, we don’t need to have a fake catch up session for less than one minute while I pass by in a cramped hallway. However –  If I do care about you and we haven’t seen each other in a very long time – I will 100% have a QUICK catch up session with you, exchange phone #’s if we don’t already have them & I WILL FREAKING TEXT OR CALL YOU. AT A LATER DATE. Not on TGE at a bar with a million drunk people.

#ratchetbitches. You know the type. The girls who are probably younger than you – or around your age – could be older, which is REALLY very unfortunate for them — eek. They’re wearing a mini dress that you’d probably wear to a DJ Theo show in Atlantic City because – they’re not the type of girls that go to Vegas. You would never wear what’s in their closet to begin with. But they’re probably going to be wearing sparkles. Too short for the eye to even gather what is going on. They’ll also be wearing extremely high heels – probably sparkles. Oh and the major kicker is that they cannot walk in their heels either. And it’s not like the, “oh I just got this brand new pair of Brian Atwood’s that I haven’t quite gotten used to wearing yet.”  A better example is walking like it’s their 2nd-3rd day as little toddler baby. Clinging to anything and everything including YOU and your boyfriend while thinking they look sexy as F in their brand spankin’ new Forever21 pumps. Which are slicing the backs of their heels with every step, they’re already bleeding. Those shoes are coming off ASAP! OH – they also spilled half of their CRANBERRY x well vodka on your shoulder because OBVI they drink cranberry vodka and obvi they don’t know how to walk with a drink in hand. Silly girls – watch out for these! (I’ve been this girl once or twice ;o)  especially the falling type – shhhh!)

Whatever – I guess this is just like any other night out at the bar. Typical. But that is my main point here – like I do not see the big deal of TGE. Why does everyone care? I get it – everybody is off tomorrow for Thanksgiving so let’s all get super fucked up and eat turkey and mashed potatoes hungover the next day. BUT really?! I don’t see the glamour of TGE. I’ve never, ever liked doing anything that hoards of people think is “COOL.” Because if that many people think it’s cool – then it’s clearly already seen its day and it’s on its way out the door. It’s no longer cool to do the cool thing if everybody else is doing it. That means you’re normal. OVER normal. So over it. I mean – I get drunk on a Wednesday MTWTFSS anyway – what’s TGE going to do for me? Except make me wait about 3 minutes longer to order my drink from the bar.

So for all the Thanksgiving Eve lovers – get over yourself. Get over this “party holiday” and come back to reality. Start partying on weeknights on the regular – it will definitely make you feel better about yourself. Stop pretending like you give a shit about any of the random re-connects from high school that you’re going to see/fuck. And really – since you’re obviously going to go out anyway despite what me or anybody else tells you – suck it up – get really drunk (try to remember your night) or hopefully forget if it was that bad – don’t cry – smile at all of your haters – and live on your TGE like any other fucking Wednesday night. Let others look at you for all the right reasons – like because they’re jealous of your adorable dress & are wondering how you’re still standing up straight and are acting so poised after your 4th or 9th cocktail. It’s because your a BETCH. Get it girl, get ittttttttt.

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Dad ❤️

This week has been eye opening. I’m thankful. I’m confused. I’m content. I’m scared. I’m crying. I’m relieved. I have no idea what to do and I’m not okay with that, yet I’m completely okay with being in the unknown. I’m at peace and the peace is lasting for the longest time that it has in a very long time.

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Saturday, November 8, 2014 I lost my father to multiple myeloma (link for details). It was an excruciating and long battle – lots of downs and back ups and back down agains. Lots of laughs, lots of cries. All memories of moments that I will cherish forever.  After years of observation, I’ve found that often times, girls have a sense of comfort with their dad’s and love to be “daddy’s little girl.” I loved that and will continue to be that forever. My relationship with dad had moved beyond that though. We were best friends. Always kept an honesty policy with each other and never failed to tell the truth no matter how harsh.  Because we had moved on toward the realness of life and death – we spoke about everything. The real shit that not all father/daughters have to embrace together. The realness that I honestly don’t wish father/daughters have to cope with together until far later on in life because it sucks. But it grows you. And I highly recommend it. I’ve covered my eyes. I’ve cried with him, over him and for him. I’ve held myself strong to show him that it would be okay when he was eventually gone and that I would be OK. I’m not in a place to feel OK, but I do feel OK. I sometimes like to scream a lot or over share – hence my blog. Dad was a sharer – an over sharer, for def sure. I’ve never met another person in my life that was more self-centered than my dad. Self-centered in the best possible way – just LOVED to chat. About himself – about other people – he loved to ask questions. So much so that it would be difficult to get him to keep it quiet in mostly any circumstance. Regardless of what he had to say – it was always meaningful. There was always a lesson behind each story. I say “stories” because I never knew if they were actually true…

Keeping myself busy with as many positive things as I possibly can at this point. To spread the love and continue on the legacy of how awesome my Dad was – I’m going to contribute a few different public work projects in the world. Things that people like. Things that benefit all types of people – no discrimination ever. Because regardless of the way a person acts, looks or presents themselves — you never quite know who they are. Unless you ask. And you listen.

Click HERE to Donate to my Robert Byrd Memorial Fund ❤ 

Consider donating to a fundraiser that I will continue to host and contribute fresh pieces to public spaces that all people can enjoy and love. Love first.

xo

No Shave

No-Shave November is the equivalent to the “basic bitch” of being a dude.

Maybe it’s the basic betch of months…

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No-Shave November has become so popular in recent years that it’s completely and utterly “basic bro.”

Some men do it for “the cause,” but most guys just do it because they think it’s cool, which is lame, IMO. Pay up or give up. Put up or shut up. Beard up, bro’s.

If you are in fact a bearded man 365, you typically despise this yearly tradition because it takes away from your hard manly work of maintaining your rad beard every day of the year. For the men who can’t grow beards, this is a funny month for you because yours look so scarce. Mostly men just look a little bit dirtier all around and the competition becomes steep among friends.

Through trying to prove your manhood to each other,  you in turn become very “chick-like”… doing things like comparing beard thickness and length to other dudes, sometimes for $, and very concerned about your overall appearance. You post selfies with your new beard. You even start drinking PSL’s seems pretty freakin’ basic to this betch. Get your shit together men, no shave November or not – keep on smiling your bearded face and be extra nice to the females in your life.

Because you have all now entered the real-time role of:

 “basic betch-dom.”

Welcome, basics. Get after it. And always remember, “If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!”