No Shave

No-Shave November is the equivalent to the “basic bitch” of being a dude.

Maybe it’s the basic betch of months…


No-Shave November has become so popular in recent years that it’s completely and utterly “basic bro.”

Some men do it for “the cause,” but most guys just do it because they think it’s cool, which is lame, IMO. Pay up or give up. Put up or shut up. Beard up, bro’s.

If you are in fact a bearded man 365, you typically despise this yearly tradition because it takes away from your hard manly work of maintaining your rad beard every day of the year. For the men who can’t grow beards, this is a funny month for you because yours look so scarce. Mostly men just look a little bit dirtier all around and the competition becomes steep among friends.

Through trying to prove your manhood to each other,  you in turn become very “chick-like”… doing things like comparing beard thickness and length to other dudes, sometimes for $, and very concerned about your overall appearance. You post selfies with your new beard. You even start drinking PSL’s seems pretty freakin’ basic to this betch. Get your shit together men, no shave November or not – keep on smiling your bearded face and be extra nice to the females in your life.

Because you have all now entered the real-time role of:

 “basic betch-dom.”

Welcome, basics. Get after it. And always remember, “If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!”


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