The Cool Girl

You’re so easy going. You’re so fucking cool. You let things go because you’re not phased by the small shit. You have your shit together. You have a job that you “like” for the most part, and at least you’re making money. You surround yourself with people you love. You support yourself. You support and love the people around you. You get it. You’re inspirational. You’re willing to learn and grow. You’re single. You’re ready to be in an amazing relationship with a really awesome person except you’re unsure of yourself. You have nothing holding you back. Except yourself. Because you in fact, are: the cool girl.

The cool girl does really well in the beginning of a relationship. She does superb. She’s accepted so easily. She’s easily obsessed over because she established herself as the most amazing thing on this earth. She makes others feel at ease in her presence. She can hang in any situation with mostly any group of people. She treats others well, she can laugh at herself and she loves to laugh. She’s outgoing but not outlandish or outspoken. She listens when others speak. She says what she has to say. Says what she means but doesn’t say it mean. She’s rarely a bitch. She’s rarely “pissed off.” She’s genuine, you’d never really call her super nice, but she’s not mean at all. She’s cool.

This girl, my friends gets taken advantage of by men the most.

Girls who don’t give a fuck about men, get chased. Girls who care too much about men, get left behind. Girls who are cool, get mind fucked. On the regular. And suffer complete and utter relationship travesty.

The cool girl is at peace with the bro’s. She’s one with them. She gets it when the guys are having guy time. She lets them hang. She does her own thing. She hangs. She handles situations well. She’s not afraid to challenge a man. Or anyone. She does not fear telling other people how it is. She does not back down. She lets her guard down often enough. She eventually allows people into her life. She welcomes change. She loves her surroundings, and when she doesn’t – she changes. She’s the type of girl who hates the faux pax of doing girl things, but loves to do them anyway.

Cool girl gets played. She needs to stop. Stop trying to be the cool girl. It comes back and bites her. Cool girl gets judged, HARD. As soon as the cool girl reacts to something that her S.O. does in a negative way, she suddenly becomes the psycho girl. I’m talking a real reaction. It could be negative, could be positive, could be a little flustered, could be a normal as anything reaction. But since cool girl doesn’t make a big deal out of things, once she does – she’s immediately deemed psycho girl. Or she’s judged – like OMG why is she getting so worked up over this, it’s sooooo not a big deal.

Um, actually yes it is a big deal! “Cool guy” just isn’t used to cool girl reacting to things because she’s so fucking cool that she doesn’t need to react. So then, once she does react, “cool guy” feels entitled to judge cool girl on her less-than-regular reaction. And cool girl melts, because people she cares about are making her feel like she’s not the cool girl. When in reality she is still Miss Cool Girl. She needs to still be the cool girl, keep the cool girl confidence and let it go. When people can’t handle the cool girl, she must let them go. Only some people can handle her. Until then, cool girl should pour herself a glass of champagne and continue being cool, just not as cool to the uncool guy.

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Fight Back or Just Be Nicer…

If your goal is to “talk to me” or get my attention – like everything, there’s probably a right way and a wrong way to do it.

Right way does not include a threat or a disgruntled negative attitude as to why I have not talked to you in over a year (shade). That’s actually first on the list of “Ways to get a girl to be completely disgusted and never talk to you again”… Borderline harassment is probably the best way, though…NOT! (digression..)

So the next time you’re walking down the street and the creepy men that stare at you and say “Daayyyum” when you walk by or whisper “You’re beautiful mami” in your ear, or my ultimate favorite: “God Bless You!” (when its quite obvious I didn’t sneeze, but “thanks, you too!”) or do the elongated neck breaking stare that follows you down the street… (OMG run-on sentence)

I know — you first STOP and GAG yourself because this man typically looks like a foot and you’re obviously uninterested in the building superintendent, 5ft3 construction man or restaurant sidewalk sweeper that stands outside on the street… But YOU MUST RECOVER!

I used to feel unbearably uncomfortable by these people that I would try to avoid them at all costs— like cross the street quicker! Somehow this always ended up majorly fucking me over. Now I gave these creeps a better view to stare at my ass or make weird comments from afar – now other bystanders look…and I look even more stupid. Fuck me, right?!?! UGH… Then I would try to just walk a little faster. Also dumb, because then I looked like a T-Rex or a weird competitor of that Olympic walking activity  – all while wearing a dress and heels. AWKWARD. 

Instead of deciding whether or not I should make eye contact, do an awkward smile, walk away humiliated with a scowl on my face while 3 men (clearly a dog’s age or older) are staring at my ass and licking their lips with the extreme fallacy that they’re going to find out what’s underneath my clothes. No, sir. You aren’t! Regardless, I changed my attitude real quick…

I kind of take that age comment back – it has nothing to do with age – because 20-somethings do it, 30-somethings, 80-somethings. Age is irrelevant. It’s their occupation or rather their “non-occupation” – something I’ve titled the “STREET LURKER,” or “CORNER STANDER.” Definition: biggest creep on the block that somehow is always outside when I’m walking by. Don’t you have a job, dude? What the f…

Nowadays I march my ass right up to these motherfuckers every damn day with a friendly smile on my face. And I say hello to them. Every time. I say hello first. I don’t allow them to treat me like a “piece.” I don’t actually take their comments as compliments because I don’t think they’re usually meant as compliments. I basically try to make them feel like idiots. That’s a goal of mine on many forefronts. To make people who have made me feel like an idiot once; feel like an idiot for quite a few times after that. I’ve even learned their names. They don’t disrespect me anymore – or at least make me feel disrespected because now we’re “friends” – I mean, no we’re not – but at least I’m not just a girl that they can gawk and/or hoot at. They’ll just say hi back and it’s over. Until I go to lunch – and walk past a pile of different creeps.

It works though. Establish your domain. Don’t be touchable. When you make yourself unavailable to them on the level of respect – they’ll stop. It’s really not a confidence thing because I’ve got plenty of that – it’s more of a security thing – like “back up off me,” “you already know me so you have no reason to be rude to me,” and TBH, “please step the F away.”

Men at Lunch, 1932
Men at Lunch, 1932

Meanwhile as I’m walking toward my lunch spot, I quickly cross the road in anticipation of construction signs and a sidewalk blocked. Phew – avoided those guys!!! WIN. UNTIL I realize it is also their lunchtime…. and 26 (literally, not exaggerating at all – I fucking counted) construction worker men are sitting down (which is the worst because they now have a view from the below angle…pity) staring at me as I walk between Spring and Prince Streets. Really didn’t win that one at all, Ash. Never gonna see them again (hopefully) so it’s not like you can say hi to any of them – EVER. Epic fail.

You get the gist, be nice to the creeps. Just not too nice.  😉

Modern Day Photo "Men At Lunch"
Modern Day Photo “Men At Lunch”

Am I Over It?

Am I Over It?

How long does it take to really get over something?

 

54 days ago I moved into an apartment with a dear friend. Since arrival, we have both had packed out schedules, holidays, birthday’s, more holiday’s, work, drinks, work, drinks, traveling…

Whatever, you get it – like all New Yorkers (and people, generally) – we’re busy.

To this date, we have yet to get cable. Yes, the godforsaken Time Warner Cable has yet to enter our residence. Well, sorta… internet and cable is included in the rent of our unit (which is fab and so cheap). This means we aren’t living in the stone age – we have Wifi. We have 2 quite large, new televisions as well. We just don’t have cable hooked up to them yet.

We’ve gone 54 days, and in my opinion – it hasn’t been bad at all. I don’t care for television, even though I would watch it if I wanted to or if it was available. But I definitely do not need it. Roomie does, but she hasn’t really cared about it much either.

Aside from TWC having awful customer service that I don’t even want to call there to schedule them to come to our place… I am really over it.

We have Netflix, but that’s not the point either. I don’t care about Netflix or watching anything at all. Am I living in the wrong era? I would rather not even watch anything? Am I so obsessed with myself and my own life that I don’t even care what goes on in the world around me? False, I’m on Twitter nonstop and find out everything I need to know from there. Quickest news outlet known to man.

I think it’s taken me a lot longer to get over not wanting cable. I haven’t really had it this entire year – because my last living situation was psychotic. But I never pressed having cable. Because I would find better things to do with my time. And if I wanted to watch something on cable, I would go to a friend’s house because isn’t it so boring to watch TV alone? I would rather be with a person watching whatever program I was interested in.

Not sure if its really the 54 days thing – but I’m boycotting TW cable and their awful customer service until Elizabeth wants to punch me because of it.

Trust Issues

There is one person in this world that I trust

…her name is Zoraida and she’s my eyebrow specialist. Yeah, it’s like that. She’s amazing at what she does and there is no other person that I would allow anywhere near my eyebrows. She does not wax or thread, but tweezes (preferred method) and it’s genius. She’s the best. I’m still very confused why people go to a “nail salon” to get their eyebrows done. Doesn’t make sense – & unfortunately – it’s not a one-stop-shop. Nail places are for manicures. Eyebrow shaping is for eyebrow specialists. DUH.

Whatever – if you’re interested, message me & I’ll give you her contact if I like you enough. Eyebrow obsession has become so popular lately (due to the likes of SUPERMODEL Cara Delevingne & her infamous brows) that even dudes are talking about it… this is shocking to me. One of my guy friends asked me, “What’s up with that girl’s eyebrows? Why do they have 90 degree angles? Why do girls want that? Looks awful.” So yeah, even dudes care when your brows suck…I’ve been curating mine since the ripe age of 13. Eyebrows are the most important feature on a face because they totally frame it – they shape a face and they are one of the first features noticed on people. With the perfect amount of pencil and shading with a brow highlighter, you can transform your entire look. Eyebrow tutorial to follow.

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So yeah, if you think I’m crazy. I’m not – I’m psychotic.

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how-to-care-for-your-eyebrowsAgain, OBSESSED.

 

New Year, New Diet

January is for diets. Unless you’re me and January is for trying as many new restaurants as possible in the first 2 weeks of the year.

Two Hands164 Mott Street, New York, NY 10013

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IMG_4106Delicious cappuccinos, and avocado toast. ❤ with an egg. EGG LOVER! and look at those two little hands, precious.

Sant Ambroeus, 265 Lafayette Street, New York, NY 10012

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IMG_4898Buffalo Mozzarella and Prosciutto with Basal. On point. Great appetizer or pseudo dinner for one. And wine, obviously.

The Grey Dog, 244 Mulberry Street, New York, NY 10012

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IMG_4939Amazing for lunch. Something about Michigan… who knows, but GREAT freakin’ sandwiches. Beers. Cool decor. Roasted Turkey & Brie with Plum Tomato & Raspberry Mustard. Yes, raspberry mustard rocks.

That Meetball Place, 54 West Main Street, Patchogue, NY 11772

IMG_4343Because who doesn’t love a JUMBO pretzel with a Stella on the side?!

Max’s on Main, 246 Main Street, Beacon, NY 12508

IMG_4956Homemade pierogies, FTW.

Sage General Store, 24-20 Jackson Avenue, Long Island City, NY 11101

IMG_4975Cute little brunch spot. Chilaquiles with Organic Chicken – corn tortillas, tomatillo sauce, queso blanco, fried egg. DONE & DONE. They also serve a sandwich called a “Big Mess” and have been featured on Diners, Drive-In’s & Dives. I mean… go there.

So yeah, about that new year, new me… ? Nah — new year, same old me. Eating for the Insta… diet starts next week. I’ll be the one joining the gym in February when all of the January people stop going… right…….

Snow = Luxe Gear

Extra snow just means extra LUXE…

First snowfall sets down in New York City and the fashion scene is impeccable today! NYC looks super chic in all of its new, holiday winter gear. Sweater weather is upon us and although I’m not in LOVE ❤ with it – I’m looking at the bright side – it’s finally winter! Which means, Spring is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER people!! Staying warm today in a new luxe oversize cabe sweater.

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J. Crew Cotton Cable Sweater
Some more of my favorites…
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Eugenia Kim – Rain Knit Hat with Fur Pompom
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Sorel Tofino Boots 
wishing it was a snow day, xx

January 2nd.

2014 was a year of major change for me. Physically, emotionally, locally, globally – all changes. Changed my job field and location. Changed my residence (more times than I’d like to admit — ok, fine – 4!). My family changed, I lost my dad. Changed my relationship status (again, more times than I’d like to admit, but actually won’t admit). I’ve embraced a lot of change and I’m a firm believer in working toward the life you want. Dream chasing is a great way to do that, short term goal setting is a productive way to do that. There’s always a positive vibe in change, although maybe not right away. It comes. Time heals. Time takes time. Keep it in today.

Can’t wait for whatever changes may come this year. I’m not setting resolutions, I’m continuing to goal set and slowly move toward whatever I want and whatever comes my way. Looking forward to some stability in 2015. There’s no rules in 2015… so start your change or your stability whenever you see fit. ❤ Keep it on lock.

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*I never learned French though, it’s on my goal list for this year. Already have the Rosetta Stone.