When You Get Laid Off From Your Job…

When you get laid off from your job (a year in reflection)…

Exploring my personal journey and list of Things to Do and Things NOT to Do.

It’s okay to cry (even if you hated that job anyway)…but you’ve got to stop feeling bad for yourself as soon as possible. Other people will feel bad for you but they’re really just judging you. So get your shit together ASAP.

Do travel if you have the opportunity to get somewhere while you don’t have a current commitment. Go wherever you can. I got laid off in the middle of April 2015 and headed to the west coast the first week of May. Get the F out if you can, it’s great for soul searching.

Do spend your money wisely. You aren’t officially guaranteed any significant amount of money after your severance package runs out (if you were lucky enough to get one) and unemployment money is not even close to enough to allow you to afford to live. Remember: you’re still going to have all the bills you had when you were working full time.

Do eat out every meal for the first few days with your friends and loved ones. I mean – they’ll probably buy your breakfast/lunch/dinner/drinks because you just lost your job and they’re gonna feel bad for you. Just remember to pay it forward if this ever happens to them and when you get a job again in the future.

Don’t continue to eat out every meal to comfort yourself to way too long. It gets WAY too expensive and you’ll get WAY too bloated because of all the salt that’s added to food.

Review what you learned from this job and be thankful for everything it provided. Use all your resources. Revise your resume… a million times. I think I have about 17 copies of my resume and about 52 specific versions of cover letters that I’ve sent to companies saved on my Macbook.

Realize that if people have never asked you “what you do for work?” before, they will immediately start asking you a million fucking times what you do for work. Be prepared to craft an interesting enough response to this annoying question because saying you’re “unemployed” is both boring and makes you look completely unable to be hired. Make sure your crafted response is not longer than a few sentences because in reality the person doesn’t actually care.

*PRO TIP: If you really hate the person who asked you, “What do you do?” or “What are you up to nowadays?” you can fib and tell them you’re “freelancing in NYC and the money & flexibility is amazing,” as you end the conversation and walk away.

Do ask your friends and family for help getting interviews / suggestions of companies to work for – you’ll be surprised by how much they can help.

In the same breath, do not expect ANYTHING to come out of what you ask for help from friends and family. Many people have much less power in the hiring process than they assume to have. It’s not their fault, but people help you much less than they’ll actually tell you.

“Yeah, send me a copy of your resume and I’ll pass it along.”

For some reason, this statement irks me more than anything! It’s a bogus response when a person doesn’t know what else to say… typically if they actually have something for you or know of something or have the power to do something, they would provide a more informative response or detailed information. That being said… my reaction to a statement like this is:

1. Don’t even bother sending a resume because I knew people are insanely unreliable.

2. Actually send a resume. They typically had a pretty negative return on resume investment. But I guess depending on how desperate you are or how bad you want it – it’s always worth a shot! So the better option is to… send it along!

*PRO TIP: Don’t trust strangers from Craigslist in NYC that make you meet them in person at the Ace Hotel in midtown for a “casting call.” Do not pay them $400 for head shots needed for guaranteed work. Especially if her name is Dylan. After her persistence for your payment wears off & if you actually pay her, she’ll literally ghost you and you’ll never hear from her again. (Embarrassingly true story). Ughhh..

Do take time to work on things that you previously never had time for.

Do find things that will bring you joy for very little money. There are so many really rad things to do for very little money or free in this world. Find a friend who’s weird enough / down enough to do different things with you and you’re golden.

Do try to find your passions and re-work your resume so that you can find work in a field that you like.

Don’t take any old job that you know you’re going to hate. You’ll be much more miserable than you were when you didn’t have a job at all. And not having a job is sort of miserable if you aren’t independently wealthy. Or if your parents don’t support your lifestyle with a trust fund or other means of endless cash.

Do network with as many people in your industry (and different industries too!). You should’ve been doing this all along tbh, BUT – if you haven’t reached out to those random people you met at that last networking event – now is the time. NOW is the best time because you actually have the time. Find out what they’re up to, ask them questions, ask for advice or suggestions. Step outside your comfort zone – because it does feel uncomfortable to cold email people. What’s the worst that can happen? Literally – the worst thing probably is – they don’t respond. And honestly, that’s not that bad. Move on to the next person – BYEEEE.

Hang out with every single person you know. It will make you realize who is important to you. Who you decide to see more and were actually happier seeing less of. Who you want to see more of and realize how much you really missed them. Who you didn’t want to see more of, but decided to see more of because you were feeling open and trusted the feelings but ended up just getting your heart blown out, for the fifth time.

When you do start a job though after being pseudo unemployed for an entire summer, culture shock will ensue. Be prepared.

Sometimes it takes like 1 week to find a job and sometimes it takes 3.5 months to find a job. Sometimes the job you found after 3.5 months is not viable to sustain your life or support you financially. But you still take this job because it’s something. If this job is not going to support you financially again, do not hesitate to take any and every interview you can get.

*PRO TIP: Beware of what you say in front of co-workers and who you share particular information with (mainly regarding interviews). Also beware that it looks ridiculous when you are constantly going to “doctors appointments.”

Even when your job searching is a completely ridiculous and terrible experience and you go on 25-30+ interviews and second round interviews and meet the CEO interviews in a 9 month period – you may still not find a job. You may find a job that you hate. Or you may find a job that you like. Or you may find a job that will grow to love in time… that’s where I am right now.

Sometimes you have to choose a lower salary with better quality of life to sustain some of your own personal goals. Obviously there is a lot to consider when making career decisions – the choice must be financially viable, but also healthy and your well-being should be a factor you consider.  In the end you’ve got to do what works well for you, what you can afford and where you see yourself moving forward with growth potential and mental clarity. Sometimes it takes being unemployed or being in a place that doesn’t work well for you to see the light.

Talking about money can be difficult conversation for practically every person reading this essay. I’m not going to tell anybody that it’s not difficult. But what I will say is that being more vocal about it really does help. “Ask and you shall receive. Don’t ask and you won’t ever know what you didn’t receive.” – modestly changing biblical quotes, OK? Main takeaway is that it’s a challenge to find people who are looking out for you. You’ve got to look out for yourself. So, do that. Ask for more money. It’s #EqualPayDay today, April 12th, 2016, so let’s celebrate it.

Being laid off at 26 was a challenging time in my life, but the lessons learned and the growth that came along with it was well worth it.

#WorkWorkWorkWorkWorkWork

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LinkedIn or Linked WAY Out of Touch…

Receiving emails from LinkedIn is hilarious. It’s like they just bring up the most random person from your past that you’ve totally forgotten about/ DGAF about and send a personalized email about them including their photo. (run-on sentence, but I needed to get it all out – hope you can understand…)

Like Hiiiiiii! Remember that girl from college who’s super successful and is about to: discover the cure / run for Congress next year / get a $50,000 raise? Oh.. her? Yeah she just got a new job and is about to take over the planet! CONGRATULATE HER!!! (Click the link to congratulate her!) Go ahead, do it! You know you want to!

Um… no thanks!

I haven’t seen or spoken to this girl since maaaaybe senior year of college and I’m obligatorily connected to her through different forms of social media because we had classes together and were probably partners on some projects in different classes.

But if I congratulated her on this great new job she just got, it would be:
1. really fucking weird.
2. kind of hysterical for my friends to laugh at.
3. overall very uncomfortable for all parties

So I’m just gonna leave her photo in my “Social” inbox of Gmail for the next few hours minutes until I decide to delete it.

But, thanks for the help LinkedIn! No, really.

Also – thanks for confirming with photos and names (sometimes names – since I don’t have the Pro Version of LinkedIn and I’m not always privy to that information) who is stalking me. If I really care enough and want to know who’s stalking me on LinkedIn I can do a free month trial and then pay a ridiculous amount of money annually or monthly to have the extra special version where I can view my “professional stalkers.”

Great. Much appreciated, LinkedIn!

If you haven’t already, add me on LinkedIn!

Trashy Lifestyles Abruptly Stopping Thanks to this Heartfelt Letter

This may sound messed up, and – it is. And I’m not sure if I really care or I’m just writing this statement to make myself seem less judgmental.

Whatever – I feel like part of my calling in life is to teach trashy people from Long Island how to be less trashy. Steps are below. Many of them are directed at women because that’s who I identify with and I usually go too hard on the men, anyway.

1. Wear less eyeliner. I mean this in the proper context, of course. If you’re heading out and eyeliner is a part of your look, great. You’re not the person I’m suggesting change from, but I bet you know exactly who it is that I am talking about.

2. Stop with the excessively gnarly acrylic nails. You’re not Kylie Jenner. Even though I wish you were and her nails don’t even bother me because I love her. It’s another perception thing. I may vomit though, BRB.

3. Don’t wear pajamas in public. Any kind of pajamas. I don’t care if they’re “cute.” Don’t.

4. “You can’t dress trashy til you spend a lot of money.” Even then, still be careful.

Just recently I had a stint at the Bay Shore Mall, where I purchased “ghetto clothes” / “disposable clothing” from a store that I’m now mildly obsessed with called Agachi. I mean, the 3 things I purchased from this store are pure gold. Who has to know that the AMAZING sparkly jelly shoes I’ve been wearing ALL DAMN SUMMER with black pants & tanks /dresses were $12.90? Well now everybody does. But how awesome? I’m dressing a little bit trashy – BUT because I’ve collected a wardrobe that isn’t typically one that’s “trashy,” I feel much more comfortable rocking some trashy chic shit from a ghetto ass store occasionally. Or all summer. Also – it’s way easier to dress a little trashier during summer months.

I digress…

5. Do less. Do MUCH less. Speaking, mostly. STFU, nobody wants to hear you yelling (at your husband – how the F do you even have one?, at your children – again, how/why?, at your pet (feel so bad for that pet), into your mobile device).

6. Politely wait until it’s your turn. Basically, relax people.

7. Wear clothing that generally fits you (not too small, not too huge). Aim for your own size. Thumbs up.

8. Just go ahead and delete your Facebook. Just delete. Inactivate – whatever it is. DO US ALL A HUGE FAVOR, so we don’t have to block you and your heinous social media updates about your “intelligent” thoughts on “controversial topics.”

9. Oversharing Birthing. When you’re pregnant, ladies. Go right ahead and be pregnant. Sharing every moment, every aspect, every sonogram, every month of your girth growth in side by side comparisons – completely fucking unnecessary. I mean, we all get it – as time goes on over the next 9-10 months, YOU WILL GET LARGER. Thank. You. So. Much. For. Sharing. AND DON’T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT SHARING PHOTOS DURING BIRTH. We’ve all seen Knocked Up and don’t care to re-live the scene until we’re going through it ourselves. Enough.

10. Get off your cell phone while driving. I bet know we’re all guilty of this, whether it’s trashy or not. But like… for some reason, whenever I see a person doing this… they’re usually a bit more likely to be trashy than not. And swerving into my lane on the LIE. And driving so slow on a merge.

11. Bumper stickers on your car. Or the little people / family stickers on the back of your minivan window. Just no.

12. Spotting fake bags / discussing fake bags. What the ACTUAL F is anybody still doing with a fake handbag? Do something real. Doesn’t matter the price. Just don’t.

Keep Long Island Beautiful ❤ 

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Daily

JUST BECAUSE YOU TOOK LONGER THAN OTHERS, DOESN’T MEAN YOU FAILED.

Sunset Overlooking the Great South Bay from Smith Point Beach, Long Island, NY

Sunsets are a happy reminder that the day is coming to a close. Everything will begin again tomorrow. Maybe today is your tomorrow. Everything takes time. Cyclical reminders from the world – you’ll get there.

Uber * (1Star)

According to my Uber driver this morning, I have only a 1 Star rating. Similar to how the user gets to rate the driver on a 5-star scale, the drivers also get to rate the user. OK soooo… How does one even attain this level of being such a shitty customer? I’m always polite to them, chat if I’m chatted to, I’m quiet when I don’t want to speak. I don’t eat or drink in Uber. I don’t do anything that weird in them (I don’t think…).

After asking my driver today, apparently my poor rating is because I don’t enter my pick-up address. Um… what? I never have. And truthfully, the app always does show my Uber driving right passed where I am (like today). And I freak out like where is this person going? WTF, UGH. Press ‘Contact Driver’ and ask them, “Where are you?” “Why are you there? I’m all the way over here.”

His suggestion – stop using the “Drop a Pin” pick up. Because the “Drop a Pin” is often times wrong. OH. Like that’s my fault? Sorry my iPhone doesn’t work. Sorry Uber doesn’t work. Whatever – he told me it is not useful for me (clearly) OR for the driver (because then they’re driving around in circles looking for me). Yeah.

I have a love/hate relationship with Uber – I’m currently trying to boycott because relying on it is too expensive for me. Which basically means I would rather spend my money in other more significant ways then getting to Brooklyn from Manhattan. I’ve been taking public transportation more often lately in NYC. Which will literally be the death of me.

Whatever, he gave me a 5 Star ***** rating today (he showed me for proof)! Thanks Mirza, have a great day!

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Got you back 😉

Fight Back or Just Be Nicer…

If your goal is to “talk to me” or get my attention – like everything, there’s probably a right way and a wrong way to do it.

Right way does not include a threat or a disgruntled negative attitude as to why I have not talked to you in over a year (shade). That’s actually first on the list of “Ways to get a girl to be completely disgusted and never talk to you again”… Borderline harassment is probably the best way, though…NOT! (digression..)

So the next time you’re walking down the street and the creepy men that stare at you and say “Daayyyum” when you walk by or whisper “You’re beautiful mami” in your ear, or my ultimate favorite: “God Bless You!” (when its quite obvious I didn’t sneeze, but “thanks, you too!”) or do the elongated neck breaking stare that follows you down the street… (OMG run-on sentence)

I know — you first STOP and GAG yourself because this man typically looks like a foot and you’re obviously uninterested in the building superintendent, 5ft3 construction man or restaurant sidewalk sweeper that stands outside on the street… But YOU MUST RECOVER!

I used to feel unbearably uncomfortable by these people that I would try to avoid them at all costs— like cross the street quicker! Somehow this always ended up majorly fucking me over. Now I gave these creeps a better view to stare at my ass or make weird comments from afar – now other bystanders look…and I look even more stupid. Fuck me, right?!?! UGH… Then I would try to just walk a little faster. Also dumb, because then I looked like a T-Rex or a weird competitor of that Olympic walking activity  – all while wearing a dress and heels. AWKWARD. 

Instead of deciding whether or not I should make eye contact, do an awkward smile, walk away humiliated with a scowl on my face while 3 men (clearly a dog’s age or older) are staring at my ass and licking their lips with the extreme fallacy that they’re going to find out what’s underneath my clothes. No, sir. You aren’t! Regardless, I changed my attitude real quick…

I kind of take that age comment back – it has nothing to do with age – because 20-somethings do it, 30-somethings, 80-somethings. Age is irrelevant. It’s their occupation or rather their “non-occupation” – something I’ve titled the “STREET LURKER,” or “CORNER STANDER.” Definition: biggest creep on the block that somehow is always outside when I’m walking by. Don’t you have a job, dude? What the f…

Nowadays I march my ass right up to these motherfuckers every damn day with a friendly smile on my face. And I say hello to them. Every time. I say hello first. I don’t allow them to treat me like a “piece.” I don’t actually take their comments as compliments because I don’t think they’re usually meant as compliments. I basically try to make them feel like idiots. That’s a goal of mine on many forefronts. To make people who have made me feel like an idiot once; feel like an idiot for quite a few times after that. I’ve even learned their names. They don’t disrespect me anymore – or at least make me feel disrespected because now we’re “friends” – I mean, no we’re not – but at least I’m not just a girl that they can gawk and/or hoot at. They’ll just say hi back and it’s over. Until I go to lunch – and walk past a pile of different creeps.

It works though. Establish your domain. Don’t be touchable. When you make yourself unavailable to them on the level of respect – they’ll stop. It’s really not a confidence thing because I’ve got plenty of that – it’s more of a security thing – like “back up off me,” “you already know me so you have no reason to be rude to me,” and TBH, “please step the F away.”

Men at Lunch, 1932
Men at Lunch, 1932

Meanwhile as I’m walking toward my lunch spot, I quickly cross the road in anticipation of construction signs and a sidewalk blocked. Phew – avoided those guys!!! WIN. UNTIL I realize it is also their lunchtime…. and 26 (literally, not exaggerating at all – I fucking counted) construction worker men are sitting down (which is the worst because they now have a view from the below angle…pity) staring at me as I walk between Spring and Prince Streets. Really didn’t win that one at all, Ash. Never gonna see them again (hopefully) so it’s not like you can say hi to any of them – EVER. Epic fail.

You get the gist, be nice to the creeps. Just not too nice.  😉

Modern Day Photo "Men At Lunch"
Modern Day Photo “Men At Lunch”

Please Just Don’t…

Please, Just Don’t…

– Ask me what I do for a living as your ice breaker. Or how much money I make. It’s not okay.

– Get so drunk that you use the “sorry I said what I said when I was drunk” excuse. More than once. To the same person. This is a MAJOR flaw I have. I’m learning to keep my mouth shut. It’s not easy and usually takes a traumatic incidence or 7 to come to terms with this.

– Over pluck or over wax! Or wax in general – your eyebrows. Biggest mistake of your life. Trust.

– Flaunt your money. It’s unbecoming. What’s worse is being the cheapest MF in town. It’s one thing to be frugal, it’s another to be an asshole. Don’t spend money, spend time. Rather, don’t spend time – share time.

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– Overdo it. Keep it 100, but also just relax.

Soho Street Art
Soho Street Art

– Tell your personal problems to everyone you know. Sharing is caring. It’s giving ammunition to all of those around you and spilling your world into places that will become invalid and invaluable. Only share what’s important to you with those who are important to you. And always be aware that when you ask for advice from people, they will give it. Don’t ask for advice from people who aren’t going to give you the right answer for you.

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– Post every aspect of your life on Facebook as a status update. Just don’t do it. Keep it natural and organic. And I suggest getting yourself a Twitter. So that I can effortlessly not follow you.

– Keep it all to yourself. It’s okay to lean on those who are close to you sometimes. It’s okay to ask for help and love and advice. It’s okay to occasionally swallow your price and rely on another human being. The human race can make anything happen. Use your resources and get shit done.

TGE

TGE – Thanksgiving Eve. Also known as Thanks but Get me the Fuck Out of Here Eve.” Biggest party night of the year – great. Because I love oh so much to see all of the ratchets from my town in one single bar on one single night all pretending to love each other and “catch up” since the last time they did this a few weeks ago. UGH – sounds more like social suicide if you ask me.

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Old Faithful

 

Not that I’m trying to be a downer to a night of debauchery – because trust me – I will partake. I will be at the bar – I will go out with my friends. I will socialize with my (ex?) (sort of together?) (what are we?) (does anybody know because I sure don’t!) boy and my other ex and my other one too…OOPS.  I will probably say hi to people who I don’t like (against my will), just because I am “polite.” Not a fan of the awkwardness though – I’ll totally avoid a person and not speak to him/her just so I don’t have to deal with awkward conversations. Just saying – If we aren’t friends, we don’t need to have a fake catch up session for less than one minute while I pass by in a cramped hallway. However –  If I do care about you and we haven’t seen each other in a very long time – I will 100% have a QUICK catch up session with you, exchange phone #’s if we don’t already have them & I WILL FREAKING TEXT OR CALL YOU. AT A LATER DATE. Not on TGE at a bar with a million drunk people.

#ratchetbitches. You know the type. The girls who are probably younger than you – or around your age – could be older, which is REALLY very unfortunate for them — eek. They’re wearing a mini dress that you’d probably wear to a DJ Theo show in Atlantic City because – they’re not the type of girls that go to Vegas. You would never wear what’s in their closet to begin with. But they’re probably going to be wearing sparkles. Too short for the eye to even gather what is going on. They’ll also be wearing extremely high heels – probably sparkles. Oh and the major kicker is that they cannot walk in their heels either. And it’s not like the, “oh I just got this brand new pair of Brian Atwood’s that I haven’t quite gotten used to wearing yet.”  A better example is walking like it’s their 2nd-3rd day as little toddler baby. Clinging to anything and everything including YOU and your boyfriend while thinking they look sexy as F in their brand spankin’ new Forever21 pumps. Which are slicing the backs of their heels with every step, they’re already bleeding. Those shoes are coming off ASAP! OH – they also spilled half of their CRANBERRY x well vodka on your shoulder because OBVI they drink cranberry vodka and obvi they don’t know how to walk with a drink in hand. Silly girls – watch out for these! (I’ve been this girl once or twice ;o)  especially the falling type – shhhh!)

Whatever – I guess this is just like any other night out at the bar. Typical. But that is my main point here – like I do not see the big deal of TGE. Why does everyone care? I get it – everybody is off tomorrow for Thanksgiving so let’s all get super fucked up and eat turkey and mashed potatoes hungover the next day. BUT really?! I don’t see the glamour of TGE. I’ve never, ever liked doing anything that hoards of people think is “COOL.” Because if that many people think it’s cool – then it’s clearly already seen its day and it’s on its way out the door. It’s no longer cool to do the cool thing if everybody else is doing it. That means you’re normal. OVER normal. So over it. I mean – I get drunk on a Wednesday MTWTFSS anyway – what’s TGE going to do for me? Except make me wait about 3 minutes longer to order my drink from the bar.

So for all the Thanksgiving Eve lovers – get over yourself. Get over this “party holiday” and come back to reality. Start partying on weeknights on the regular – it will definitely make you feel better about yourself. Stop pretending like you give a shit about any of the random re-connects from high school that you’re going to see/fuck. And really – since you’re obviously going to go out anyway despite what me or anybody else tells you – suck it up – get really drunk (try to remember your night) or hopefully forget if it was that bad – don’t cry – smile at all of your haters – and live on your TGE like any other fucking Wednesday night. Let others look at you for all the right reasons – like because they’re jealous of your adorable dress & are wondering how you’re still standing up straight and are acting so poised after your 4th or 9th cocktail. It’s because your a BETCH. Get it girl, get ittttttttt.

Practice Your Texts

Practice your texts before you press SEND.

AKA: Don’t speak too soon.

AKA: Don’t get caught up.

AKA: Don’t say shit you don’t mean.

AKA: Say what you mean, but don’t say it mean.

Every time I’m faced with an interesting question or problem or “AHH! not sure what to do” via text, I hold on a sec…

Exit iMessage immediately. Open my favorite app in the history of the world. No guys, it’s not Instagram. It’s Notes. Don’t believe me?! Take a look at my stack. In real life hard copy and in soft copy on my iPhone/iCloud. I write notes like nobody’s business. In fact I write many of my blogs in Notes.

I’ve had Notes deleted from my iPhone and I’ve had legit mental breakdowns crying and screaming on the floor, until Anthony Luckie saved my life a la his pre-lawyer days.

ANYWAY – Write down everything you want to say in the note. Run on sentences and all. Nasty shit. Nice shit. Normal shit. Really really fucking nasty shit. Get it out. It feels good. But it didn’t make anybody feel that bad yet. Now, maybe your goal is to make somebody feel bad: here’s the trick. Clean it up. Think about it and revise what you’re saying. Run it by somebody. You don’t need to answer right away. You change your tone because you’re not looking to get a negative reaction, you’re looking for a positive reaction. Don’t curse them out. You basically clean up your texts and make them clear, concise and perfect. Your text will come across as well thought out and that you mean business not that you’re trying to be a dick.

Also – it majorly saves you from the elusive  (typing) dots.

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Which are the ultimate worst gut dropping feeling. OH the person is typing… then erased. Typing then erased. Then typing.  Then nothing. And still no text received? What’s going on w this weird person ? They clearly don’t know how to respond! Clearly they’re thinking about this way too much.

When you avoid the dots, you seem unaffected by something – even if it did take you 1 hour of deliberating and contemplating of what to actually send.

Once that shit is perfect, you copy and paste into iMessage and off it goes. Confidence is up because you take out the nervousness or changing your mind or anything else out of the text line. Now you’ve said exactly what you mean, you didn’t say it mean. And you’re free. Until the text comes back: “ok.”

Hahaha! Good luck with that shit!

Confidence Boost

For when you’re feeling like you need a little boost… this is my list of shit to make you feel better about yourself. Explode your confidence this way. Every thing on my list works – proven through myself – tried & true.

1. Smile.

Smiling boosts confidence like nobody’s business! Smile the shit out of yourself. If you’re uncomfortable, do this as much as possible. Nobody wants to see you with a frown on your face. Definitely not flattering. Definitely does not show confidence, it shows sadness or uneasiness or boredom. Put your smile on (try not to fake it) and own a situation.

2. Head high, shoulders back, look people in the eye.

Giving direct eye contact gives you much stronger control. People will allow you to guide conversations and you will win. Avoid a power struggle because that makes people uncomfortable, also avoid staring at people because “deer in headlights” is a thing. Keep it non-verbal even, LISTENING is major.

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3. Stop apologizing

Somebody bumps into you, and you immediately say, “Sorry!” Ummm, what?! Why are YOU apologizing for a person who was not paying attention and bumped into you while you were at standstill. THEYYYY should be apologizing to you. This slight and extremely common “Sorry,” should stop.

4. Relax

Keep things light. Be very quick to laugh at yourself if you do something silly. Try not to laugh at somebody else’s expense. When you can really laugh at what you do, that shows confidence. I’m talking spilling food on your shirt and letting it happen – maybe put some food on the other side to make the stains match. 😉 Whateverrrrr.

5. Manners! Manners! Manners!

Saying “Please” and “Thank You!” are amongst the greatest words to keep in your vocabulary. People respect please’s and thank you’s more than you’ll ever know and it’s actually a mark of self-respect. I think it makes us feel better about ourselves to be gracious and feel cool. Treat others how you would like to be treated.

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6. Dress in a way that indicates your self worth. 

Looking well-dressed is MAJOR to me. Being well-dressed has nothing to do with $ or style. It has to do with what looks well on your body type and how you present yourself while wearing what you’re currently wearing. When you dress like a slut, you are a slut (proven). When you dress like a boss, you are a boss (proven). Let people see your confidence through your appearance as well as your body language and sense of self.

7. Expect others to believe in you!

OBVIOUSLY you’re amazing. You want everybody to know, see and truly appreciate your good qualities. When you expect people to know, the confidence just follows. Don’t fear others not knowing, don’t fear anybody’s opinion. When you present yourself or an idea/dream with excitement and you want others to believe in you – the confidence rolls right off your tongue.

Keeping confidence levels high is eminent to your success – so even if you have to fake it, use these tips until they become natural.

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