How To Break Your Own Heart

So I’ve done quite a bit of “how-to’s” on this blog, but this one is quite a bit – well… Different.

I received a message from one of my BFFs about a month ago telling me some big “news.” And NO, that it wasn’t her engagement, that in fact it was the total effing opposite. She was leaving. Picking up her fabulous life and turning it completely upside down. Ending the relationship, leaving her job and leaving her city. I was shocked, yet I knew she knew exactly what she was doing.  She’s one of the most intelligent and self-aware people I’ve met in this world. And so strong. Strength I’ve rarely seen before especially in my peers, especially in 20 & 30 something’s.

After thinking about this over and over again, I realized she was doing what many of us find so intimidating and nearly impossible to do. Being afraid of getting our heart broken and even breaking another person’s heart is both frightening and intimidating. Love is such a strong emotion that ending or breaking is not an easy part of it – no matter how well you plan for it. But here she is, a beautiful, awesome, powerful and intelligent girl who loves harder than most I know – doing it to herself.

Breaking her own heart. For the better of her relationship and their lives going forward. Doing it FOR herself. By her own will and merit.

Are you in a relationship or workplace or friendship or anything that you need to step away from?

Find something. Deep within yourself. Find the strength to pick up and release yourself. It doesn’t need to be dramatic. No need for the applause or the social media presence. It doesn’t mean you need to cut all ties or end something in a hurtful way. You can just move on by yourself. Find the way. (Find your true north! #Wanderlust).

Maybe it’s the complete opposite for you – maybe it’s getting back into something. For example: You love doing ActivityX but your current life doesn’t allow for time to do ActivityX. You’ve got to make the time for ActivityX. You be X. Nobody else will do X for you. Nobody else will do shit for you for that matter. It’s you and you. Control is what we’re after here. Set some goals. Create a timeline and move it. Control your own aspirations, your own goals and your own feelings. Take control of yourself and your future, even if you have to break your own heart while doing so.

</3

unnamed

Advertisements

Active Summer

For some reason, everybody has a little more time for fun in the summer. Obviously the days are longer… but usually the fun lasts longer too! Below are some fun things I’ve done this summer outside!

SUP in Sag Harbor Cove, New York

SUP (stand-up paddle boarding) for 3 but more like… 2 paddle boards tied together with drawstring from a wet bag because one was missing a fin & didn’t move well… so whoever got the back board chilled while the 2 on the front board had to work. By work I mean take selfies.

11703352_10155746066565405_8707326342125871331_n

unnamed-6

Kayaking in the Peconic River – Riverhead, New York

Little afternoon kayak through the Peconic River. You can definitely pack a lunch & some bev’s! You have to buddy system though because there really isn’t room for a cooler. 🙂 Gives your abs, back and shoulders a nice little workout!

FullSizeRender 42

Shorefront Park, Patchogue, New York

Great South Bay Music Festival was held at Shorefront Park in Patchogue, NY on July 16-19, 2015. It’s a 4 day music festival that’s beginning to draw bigger and better names every year! This year I attended on Thursday night and saw Colbie Caillat, Christina Perri (not to be confused with Katy), and Rachel Platten of “Fight Song.” 311 was also a popular name to play this festival. Great way to spend the evening outside by the water.

unnamed-11

unnamed-9

Sagg Main Beach, Sagaponack, New York 

Let’s be honest, activity is nice – but relaxing on the beach is much nicer!  Add wine and you’re done. Workout is biceps (lifting your wine glass to your face & repeat).

unnamed-10

Summer is halfway over – sorry to say – Sooooooo get outside and enjoy the rest of it! Xx

Best Friend VS. Bestie

As many betches know, the difference between a “bestie” and a best friend is MAJOR.

My prob is that I tend to call many people my “bestie” and I just don’t want to give anybody the wrong idea here, so I’ll clarify.

A best friend holds a much stronger responsibility than a bestie. Yet a best friend can always be referred to as a bestie, no questions asked. On the other hand, some besties will never achieve the title of best friend no matter what they do.

Your best friend is that personyou know who they are and they know who they are. You can def, 100%, totes have more than 1 best friend in your life. And in different contexts for that matter. But one thing is for sureeee, they will ALWAYS have the same qualities. And usually in your mind, you know there is a 1st place holder. This person is your soulmate basically. They know you so well – like better than your future husband or wife because they have known you forever and you’ve spent far too much time together.

A bestie can be classified into various categories of people you know. A bestie can be a close friend, a regular friend, one of your betches, and the term can even be used as an endearing comment toward someone you like a lot but aren’t even that close with. WHY THE FUCK AM I WRITING ABOUT BESTS VS. BESTIES?! 

A friend called me out on naming him a “bestie” this weekend and we started to compare. He told me I should make a Vennix Square…. UM?. ?. ?.  Yup. WTF is that? It’s exactly what it sounds like. Brendan is an extremely intelligent individual, however – he is definitely the type who would know where roofies would come from. That guy. 😉 totes kidding, bestie! Whatever – a Vennix Square is the combination of a Punnet Square, Venn Diagram & a Rubik’s Cube. This does not make sense, whatsoever. But in short, he meant a Venn Diagram and I’ll try to explain.

10422378_10100574415154585_9156227269005735699_n
Design & Photo Credit: Brendan Sixer

In fact, his Venn Diagram is incorrect because nothing is actually being compared and should be drawn as listed below.

unnamed-1
Bests vs. Besties Venn Diagram * (corrected by yours truly).

I’ll tell my besties everything, but I’ll tell my best friend WHY I told them everything. As always, it’s all about perception.

There’s a difference … and just because I name you as my bestie does NOT mean you don’t qualify as a best friend. You may be that. Or more.

Overall, bestie is simply a term of endearment that’s catchy and easy to use. And I’m obsessed with it.

Curiosity Killed the Cat

Curiosity Killed the Cat

Why are there so many cat metaphors? Ughh…

This is a Life Lesson for Everyone…

Some people DON’T love you, they don’t even care about you. They just want to stay connected to you – they love the benefits.

So, they do the minimal. A little phone call here and there. A text. Just checking/thinking about you (ppffftttt!).

WHAT THEY ARE REALLY DOING IS: MAINTAINING A CONNECTION, SO WHEN THEY NEED YOU – THEY STILL HAVE A WAY IN.

Reading people gets easier with age. Be careful of the curious and stay close and true to those true few.

Head Shots – Bang

Tremendous thanks & shout out to Bellport Web Solutions! Had a blast shooting with my girl Alexandria (@alexyadig – follow her, she’s adorable) and Dan the owner/photographer & of course, our “props.”

Alex invited me a few hours before & tells me, “You’ve got one job, Ash – bring props.” Don’t tempt me with a good time! Fruit hats. Bananas. Stella Artois. TMG Flower Halos. Funky sunglasses. Done & done. Our experience with Dan was fantastic – his studio space is great & his two French Bulldogs rule!

IMG_8901

SO, as if you guys needed more of a reason to think Alex and I were legit in love with each other, here’s another one! We look like we’re sisters posing for family portraits as a gift to our parents for their 40th wedding anniversary. With that being said, I F-ING LOVE IT. Red lips are my favorite and this photo is my absolute favorite. Alex is wearing Hourglass lipstick in “Icon.” I’m wearing Chanel lipstick in “Passion.”

IMG_8903

As always – the fruit hat NEVER FAILS.

1510541_238395263010652_54897137_n

Stunning in That Madonna Girl “The Dani” halo.

1013852_238432616340250_1816702346_n

SIGNING OFF.

I FEEL LIKE DAFT PUNK.

 

1743444_239216546261857_1518693354_n

Photo Cred: Bellport Web Solutions

Paris Photo Diary

No need to overflow your Instagram feeds, so I’ll blog my Paris adventure!

Versailles Gardens
Versailles Gardens
SURFBOARDT!
SURFBOARDT!

Shopped 'til I dropped, JK.
Shopped ’til I dropped, JK.
Pont Saint Louis - "Love Lock Bridge"
Pont Saint Louis – “Love Lock Bridge”
Monk Selfies
Monk Selfies
Photobombed at the Louvre
Photobombed at the Louvre
Wedding Ceremony at the Grand Palais
Wedding Ceremony at the Grand Palais
Posing in front of Cartier (mainly took this photo for the hot dude to the left)
Posing in front of Cartier (mainly took this photo for the hot dude to the left, who turns out to not be that hot.)
Arc de Triomph
Arc de Triomph
Fresh Squeezed OJ in the Gardens of Versailles
Fresh Squeezed OJ in the Gardens of Versailles
no patience as always #kanye
no patience as always #kanye
Notre Dame from the Lovelock Bridge
Notre Dame from the Lovelock Bridge
CitiPharma <3
CitiPharma ❤
my girrrrrrl
my girrrrrrl
Laduree Bakery
Laduree Bakery
Ghetto Statue <3
Ghetto Statue ❤
Versailles Palace
Versailles Palace
City Street
City Street
All smiles
All smiles
# RATCHET <3
# RATCHET ❤
Paris Marathon on Sunday
Paris Marathon on Sunday
Caught in the act of a Selfie
Caught in the act of a Selfie
Quick! Jump in that bush...
Quick! Jump in that bush…
Queen Nightclub
Queen Nightclub
Arc de Triomph
Arc de Triomph
Eiffel Tower
Eiffel Tower

 So many more photos, I just picked a few favorites!

M.I.L.K.

Sometimes in your life the smallest pieces of advice that you receive can stick with you for the longest time. Sophomore year of college, one of my girlfriends taught me about “MILK.” Clever little acronym to help girls to remember what they need!

Every time you go out you must remember milk!

milk-carton

(Cutest picture of “milk” I could find on the Internet without grossing anybody out! Also soooo wish it was Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk – much more my style).

Money

ID

Lipgloss

Keys

(& iPhone – given! Although during the time I heard this, it was Blackberry! ahhh).

This is my last minute checklist as I’m heading out the door – every. single. time. Whether I’m home or at a friend’s house or really anywhere that I’m planning on heading out for the night I always do a quick run-down. I’ve updated the adorable acronym to MILKI – but not for my iPhone, for my insulin pump. COOL.

Hope you never forget this little tidbit while you’re heading out tonight with your friends!

Look Ratchet, Get More Attention.

Has anybody had the feeling that they’re being watched? Have you gotten an unexpected reaction from people based on your appearance? After years of personal research from my experiences and those of others…I will say that people approach me more and are friendlier and nicer when I have more flaws.

When I’m exhausted and hungover and look like shit, more people will talk to me. If I look well and put together, less people will talk to me. I’m not talking about like going to an event or a particular function or interview, where you should def dress the hell up. BUT — when you’re at your absolute worst you def get more reaction.

I’m at Boston Logan Airport for a 6:30AM flight last Friday, my appearance resembles that of dog shit, I’m hardly awake, running late for my flight and waiting to go through security. It’s one of those – I need sunglasses on to hide my face and it’s not even sunny out – mornings. I’m with my best friend (who’s gorgeous) – but again, we are both looking rather ratchet. When we first started talking about this subject, we were shocked. Later on – we realized that this is blatantly OBVIOUS for a betch. More people chatted us up on this particularly ratchet looking morning, then we’re ever usually chatted up on any given day.

TSA Agent: “Hey – how ya doing this morning? Ya don’t look so happy!”
Us: “Hungover!” / “Drank too much wine last night!”
TSA Agent: “Oh hahahaha well ya better finish up those drinks before you go through security – can’t bring em with ya!”
Us: Laughing. “Thanks!”
TSA Agent (same guy, later on to another TSA Agent): “Watch out. These 2 are hungover and they’re coming through! Much happier than before!!”

OK – besides the fact that the exchange wasn’t funny at all – thanks for being nice to us! Thanks for joking around with us – it made us happy! 🙂  That’s the whole point – people are much nicer to you if you’re a little bit off your game. If your guard is down and you’re looking ratchet as all hell, expect nice things to come your way. It’s all about PAYING IT FORWARD. If you’re having a shit day – make someone else happy when your’e feeling sad. When you feel stuck – help someone else! We were at a bar the night before – nobody tried to “pick us up,” have any form of conversation or was social with us in the slightest – but we looked good.

motherteresa

 

Who would’ve ever thought I’d be listing Mother Teresa’s Humility List on my blog? Not me – but then again, I really like surprises!

On the contrary, if I would’ve looked really well – dressed up, hair and makeup done, looking fierce– nobody would have spoken to me. They would have looked, that’s for damn sure. But striking up cute conversation – 100% NO FUCKING WAY. When I look worse, I get more attention then on a typical day. MUCH MORE than when I try hard to look normal.

“I looked like shit at the market tonight and people talked to me and were nice.” Theory, proven. Boom.

People, especially men feel much more intimidated by women that are totally put together and looking great. Especially when it’s women in numbers. This is like scientifically proven, somehow or somewhere…(insert case study here that I’m too lazy to search for). I don’t even want to single out men because I do this to other women as well. Like if you’re a “threat,” I’m not going out of my way for you. If you’re an equal (by way of appearance – I know this sounds really shady & vain) I’ll probably be nicer to you.

I’m sure you also know “those people” though – like they are completely ratchet ON PURPOSE! They don’t give a shit about anything or anyone – they look ridiculous on the reg. And people FUCKING LOVE THEM! I have people like this in my mind right now. Like you usually just look at them in disgust because you’re so over their song & dance. BUT – these ratchets are crowd pleasers!! People love to hate them and hate to love them. Ratchet people get attention because they’re too ridiculous to not watch or pay attention to.

Now, I’m DEFINITELY NOT describing myself as a Full Time Ratchet Betch – BUTTTTTTT I would say that I can fit into that category on occasion… during those occasions – my popularity level goes up with strangers. Also goes up with my besties. Goes down for my parents because they are NOT a fan of my ratchetness. For DEF sure. for 100% def sure. Correlation — people like hot messes? Or at least pay attention to them and are nice to them. Flawed or not, looking like shit and not actually being a heinous looking human being, you’re going to gain some sort of respect.

chanel grocery shop

Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyard – Charlottesville, VA

Had a rapid-fire style weekend filled with my best friends and far too much wine! Traveled from New York to Boston down to Richmond, VA then to Charlottesville, VA and back again. Within a weekend… girl. gets. around. My college roommate & dear friend, Ms. Whitney Luke is getting married this upcoming November, so we had the pleasure of visiting her wedding venue. Exquisite rolling hills of farmland, beautiful vineyards, gorgeous outdoor ceremony space (and it’s February!), amazing country, rustic style reception space. Pippin Hill is beautiful and I cannot wait to watch my beautiful bestie exchange vows on the grounds. Oh…& the wine, delicious!

Photo Diary of the Weekend @ Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyard

Charlottesville, VA

pippinhillfront

Gorgeous Barn Entrance

pippinhillmarnie

Somebody’s excited!

pippinhilllobbyselfie

Now that’s a Huge Mirror #selfie

pippinhill8

Beautiful Reception Room

pippinhillfarmtable

Farm Table

pippinhilldecor

pippinhill4

L.O.V.E.

pippinhillbar

Cocktail Hour Bar

pippinhillgirls1

Wine Tasting

pippinhillgirls4

More Tasting

pippinhillwine

Vino

pippinhillgirls

See ya in November!

pippinhilllobby