These memes because Glossier is now shipping to the U.K.
Queens love Glossier, obv. I’m a rep! Shop my picks at glossier.com/reps/ashleybyrd for 20% off your first order and free shipping over £25!
So much good going on lately! Too busy living, not enough time to write about it.
Some of my picks for August are below, take a look!
Essie Nail Polish in “Bikini So Teeny” – tried and true. Great pedicure color.
Glossier Haloscope – highlighter in Topaz. I can’t rant and rave enough about this and Glossier in general. Read back on this blog roll for a million and one posts about why Glossier rules.
Nike Juvenate Sneakers – super lightweight, bright white sneakers with black detailing. Comfortable, but they look so cute. Def won’t be running in these – just for sporting around town I’m thinking. 👍
Whalebone Mag – The Food Issue. Pick up basically anywhere in MTK and all over the east end. Take a look inside for tons of mostly legitimate info about food and drankssss, esp on the east end.
Dr. Jart – Pore Minimalist Sheet Mask. Do people actually do sheet masks for anything other than the Snapchat selfie? I mean… Whatevs, got this at Sephora and it’s a good one. And it’s black charcoal.
Capri Blue Volcano Candle – if you know it, you know. If you don’t, you should. Tried and true scent for summer, it’s fruity in a great way. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of it. I’ve been burning it since high school. Can’t go wrong with Volcano. Can usually be found at Anthropologie stores.
Maui Babe Bronzing Lotion – it’s a tanning lotion / enhancer. I’ve been SPF-ing hard body since the beginning of summer to avoid getting that serious “burn”. I did a great job btw – no serious burns, have a solid base tan and Maui Babe just enhances the bronzeness. FYI this stains white bathing suits – BUT does wash out. Available for purchase online obv, I got mine at Poolside Collective at the Montauk Beach House and I suggest you visit.
Relating to each of the text images below — in a way that you’d probably least expect. Last one is my favorite. Live on friends, be well, stay happy, remain true to yourself. ❤
Be aware of your surroundings.
Reach out to a far tie this weekend (as opposed to a close tie) in your social circle.
Move forward. It’s so much more fun.
Hi _______________, it’s a pleasure to meet you.
All images from crimebydesign Instagram.
Summertime is inevitably the busiest time of the year – chock full of beautiful, enjoyable events – bbq’s, weddings, picnics, festivals and beach days. The list goes on and on. This summer I’m maximizing my weekends by waking up early (trying to), staying up late (can’t help it), and enjoying every minute (that I can remember).
Exploring my personal journey and list of Things to Do and Things NOT to Do.
It’s okay to cry (even if you hated that job anyway)…but you’ve got to stop feeling bad for yourself as soon as possible. Other people will feel bad for you but they’re really just judging you. So get your shit together ASAP.
Do travel if you have the opportunity to get somewhere while you don’t have a current commitment. Go wherever you can. I got laid off in the middle of April 2015 and headed to the west coast the first week of May. Get the F out if you can, it’s great for soul searching.
Do spend your money wisely. You aren’t officially guaranteed any significant amount of money after your severance package runs out (if you were lucky enough to get one) and unemployment money is not even close to enough to allow you to afford to live. Remember: you’re still going to have all the bills you had when you were working full time.
Do eat out every meal for the first few days with your friends and loved ones. I mean – they’ll probably buy your breakfast/lunch/dinner/drinks because you just lost your job and they’re gonna feel bad for you. Just remember to pay it forward if this ever happens to them and when you get a job again in the future.
Don’t continue to eat out every meal to comfort yourself to way too long. It gets WAY too expensive and you’ll get WAY too bloated because of all the salt that’s added to food.
Review what you learned from this job and be thankful for everything it provided. Use all your resources. Revise your resume… a million times. I think I have about 17 copies of my resume and about 52 specific versions of cover letters that I’ve sent to companies saved on my Macbook.
Realize that if people have never asked you “what you do for work?” before, they will immediately start asking you a million fucking times what you do for work. Be prepared to craft an interesting enough response to this annoying question because saying you’re “unemployed” is both boring and makes you look completely unable to be hired. Make sure your crafted response is not longer than a few sentences because in reality the person doesn’t actually care.
*PRO TIP: If you really hate the person who asked you, “What do you do?” or “What are you up to nowadays?” you can fib and tell them you’re “freelancing in NYC and the money & flexibility is amazing,” as you end the conversation and walk away.
Do ask your friends and family for help getting interviews / suggestions of companies to work for – you’ll be surprised by how much they can help.
In the same breath, do not expect ANYTHING to come out of what you ask for help from friends and family. Many people have much less power in the hiring process than they assume to have. It’s not their fault, but people help you much less than they’ll actually tell you.
“Yeah, send me a copy of your resume and I’ll pass it along.”
For some reason, this statement irks me more than anything! It’s a bogus response when a person doesn’t know what else to say… typically if they actually have something for you or know of something or have the power to do something, they would provide a more informative response or detailed information. That being said… my reaction to a statement like this is:
2. Actually send a resume. They typically had a pretty negative return on resume investment. But I guess depending on how desperate you are or how bad you want it – it’s always worth a shot! So the better option is to… send it along!
*PRO TIP: Don’t trust strangers from Craigslist in NYC that make you meet them in person at the Ace Hotel in midtown for a “casting call.” Do not pay them $400 for head shots needed for guaranteed work. Especially if her name is Dylan. After her persistence for your payment wears off & if you actually pay her, she’ll literally ghost you and you’ll never hear from her again. (Embarrassingly true story). Ughhh..
Do take time to work on things that you previously never had time for.
Do find things that will bring you joy for very little money. There are so many really rad things to do for very little money or free in this world. Find a friend who’s weird enough / down enough to do different things with you and you’re golden.
Do try to find your passions and re-work your resume so that you can find work in a field that you like.
Don’t take any old job that you know you’re going to hate. You’ll be much more miserable than you were when you didn’t have a job at all. And not having a job is sort of miserable if you aren’t independently wealthy. Or if your parents don’t support your lifestyle with a trust fund or other means of endless cash.
Do network with as many people in your industry (and different industries too!). You should’ve been doing this all along tbh, BUT – if you haven’t reached out to those random people you met at that last networking event – now is the time. NOW is the best time because you actually have the time. Find out what they’re up to, ask them questions, ask for advice or suggestions. Step outside your comfort zone – because it does feel uncomfortable to cold email people. What’s the worst that can happen? Literally – the worst thing probably is – they don’t respond. And honestly, that’s not that bad. Move on to the next person – BYEEEE.
Hang out with every single person you know. It will make you realize who is important to you. Who you decide to see more and were actually happier seeing less of. Who you want to see more of and realize how much you really missed them. Who you didn’t want to see more of, but decided to see more of because you were feeling open and trusted the feelings but ended up just getting your heart blown out, for the fifth time.
When you do start a job though after being pseudo unemployed for an entire summer, culture shock will ensue. Be prepared.
Sometimes it takes like 1 week to find a job and sometimes it takes 3.5 months to find a job. Sometimes the job you found after 3.5 months is not viable to sustain your life or support you financially. But you still take this job because it’s something. If this job is not going to support you financially again, do not hesitate to take any and every interview you can get.
*PRO TIP: Beware of what you say in front of co-workers and who you share particular information with (mainly regarding interviews). Also beware that it looks ridiculous when you are constantly going to “doctors appointments.”
Even when your job searching is a completely ridiculous and terrible experience and you go on 25-30+ interviews and second round interviews and meet the CEO interviews in a 9 month period – you may still not find a job. You may find a job that you hate. Or you may find a job that you like. Or you may find a job that will grow to love in time… that’s where I am right now.
Sometimes you have to choose a lower salary with better quality of life to sustain some of your own personal goals. Obviously there is a lot to consider when making career decisions – the choice must be financially viable, but also healthy and your well-being should be a factor you consider. In the end you’ve got to do what works well for you, what you can afford and where you see yourself moving forward with growth potential and mental clarity. Sometimes it takes being unemployed or being in a place that doesn’t work well for you to see the light.
Talking about money can be difficult conversation for practically every person reading this essay. I’m not going to tell anybody that it’s not difficult. But what I will say is that being more vocal about it really does help. “Ask and you shall receive. Don’t ask and you won’t ever know what you didn’t receive.” – modestly changing biblical quotes, OK? Main takeaway is that it’s a challenge to find people who are looking out for you. You’ve got to look out for yourself. So, do that. Ask for more money. It’s #EqualPayDay today, April 12th, 2016, so let’s celebrate it.
Being laid off at 26 was a challenging time in my life, but the lessons learned and the growth that came along with it was well worth it.
This light / neon / crystal image is my new iPhone lock screen background because I really enjoy looking at it. Colors are dope.
Next up is a ridiculous Snapchat. Doing things that make you feel pretty. Feel-good things are not always the same as wellness things, but whatever. I got my hair colored yesterday…(great color = really good vibes) however (toxins from hair coloring = bad vibes) but I mean… I haven’t done it in about 1 year and I needed it and I’m making up excuses for myself BUT I just wanted it. And it makes me feel good. And this puppy filter on Snapchat is putting me over the edge– how cute is everyone as a dog? OMG. Plus follow me on Snap if you want a peek of all the weird shit I do on the daily. @ashleybyrdy, hi!
Next up: Thank you. Stop saying sorry if you want to say thank you. I saw this image below on a blog post here and totally had to share it with you guys. Putting good vibes out into the universe with a positive message instead of a negative one. I’m about this.
Bathing suit season is approaching and I for one am super excited and looking forward to being in a bathing suit and on the beach all summer long. I came across this pretty rad swimsuit website, Cocodune – that allows you to order suits at no charge, have them shipped to your house to try-on and then ship back whatever you don’t want. At no fee. Unless you keep something, then your credit card gets charged. It’s genius, especially if you have no time to swimsuit shop or you’re self conscious about it. Whatever the case may be, I’m trying it out this week so I’ll let you guys know what I think in a later post.
Keep it feel-good, guys…keep it feeling really good!
Food for thought. Now enjoy some snapshots of NYC taken over the past week in the frigid air but beautiful sun. 🙂
100% obsessed with NYC street art…
Hustle hard. Obviously, because goals.
Lately I have been overly obsessed with Podcasts. Mostly because I spend a lot of time on the subway – commuting, underground with no cell service. So like – what else am I going to do aside from listen to Bieber and Halsey and repeat?
Easy! Listen to podcasts…
Yeah, that’s right. Podcasts! That small purple app that comes automatically loaded on your iPhone that you’ve gone ahead and stored in that weird folder you never open – along with Wallet, Tips, Compass, Voice Memos, Calculator (I use this often actually). Yeah, that one – Podcasts. Just make sure to download them ahead of time so you can listen freely whenever you want (or when you don’t have cell service while you’re on the subway).
This morning I began listening to a new one by The New York Times and wbur called Modern Love. Modern Love is a section of The New York Times where New Yorker’s write essays about their interesting experiences with love. The podcast is essentially the essays being read aloud by famous actors and actresses and followed by conversation and feedback from the original authors. Jason Alexander (George Costanza of Seinfeld) recited Episode 2. Sarah Paulson (American Horror Story & many others) narrates this week’s episode, which I’ll be listening to on my way home from work tonight.
If you’ve never listened to Podcasts before, I totally understand your hesitance. It took me months and months to take the listening suggestions and actually start listening. We are programmed as human beings to have hyperactive senses and want all of them to be receptive at all times. AKA utter chaos, always. With that being said, it’s somehow really nice to just open up and listen to something instead of watching something, checking your phone, getting distracted so easily… Feel free to close your eyes while listening, I do sometimes. Except I’m sort of lying because closing your eyes on the subway is not the safest thing to do; use caution.
Below are some of my other favorites with quick reviews:
CYG – Call Your Girlfriend – “A podcast for long distance besties everywhere” by Ann Friedman and Aminatou Sow. If you’re a chick, you can and will completely relate to this podcast. It feels exactly like chatting with your friends on the phone about current events, controversial topics, health & wellness, real life everyday struggles. Both of the chicks are very feminist, aka super empowering and really just fab to listen to. They interview their friends and colleagues and empowering women every few weeks, which I LOVE. Brings even more personality to the table. There’s also a million of these so you can listen to them for what feels like forever.
Serial – Created by This American Life and hosted by Sarah Koenig where a real life true story is unfolded week by week (now Season 2 is bi-weekly) throughout the season. Very interesting, and if you watched Netflix’s Making a Murderer recently, then you’ll really like this, promise. Season 1 is still my favorite, even midway through Season 2. Keeps you at the edge of your seat, I listened to the first season in like 24 hours last year on vacay in Aruba. Just highly recommend this on many levels – especially to like, keep up with social norms…
Monocycle with Leandra Medine – Very real, very smart, very quick, approx. 10 minute podcast about – Leandra’s life. She’s the cool-girl fashion chick who created the website Man Repeller. Mostly I love that she’s breaking down and talking about things that many women are not comfortable talking about.
Another one I listen to randomly is called “Oh Boy” also brought to you by Man Repeller. ❤ Episode 19 featuring Alexa Chung just came out and I’m a fan! Interviews with lots of celebs / fashion people / writers & bloggers / cool people in general, worth a listen if you see a person you know of.
Women Of The Hour – Lena Dunham & Buzzfeed collabo podcast “about friendship, love, work, bodies, and more.” There were many excerpts from this podcast that strongly resonated with me and I bet would resonate with you as well. Lena is life, and another recent venture she’s on is Lenny, also worth checking out – very female forward and progressive.
Podcast on, my friends!
Dear All Betches Everywhere:
An open letter about menstruation. Read further if you dare. If you don’t want to read about a potentially uncomfortable topic I would suggest you stop reading now. Men especially. But women, you’re welcome…maybe? Whatever. Here we go…
A few years ago, one of my BFF’s informed me of a product called “Diva Cup.” Basically, that she started using it and that it is life-changing, once you get used to it. She uses it, has been for quite a while and apparently loves it.
Click the Diva Cup link above or just Google it if you want to learn more about specific details. Basically, Diva Cup is made for females as an alternative to using tampons or pads during menstruation.
It’s a silicone “cup” that you virtually insert inside of yourself and it captures the blood. Benefits are that you can leave it in for up to 12 hours, it’s a 1-time cost of under $30 and lasts for a few years apparently (instead of spending a lot of $ on tampons/pads) and sort of saves the environment (less waste) and your septic systems! Score! Win! Great, I’m interested… let me find out more! Headed straight over to Amazon.com to order this puppy and give it a try… and by heading straight over, I mean I contemplated doing that for approximately 2 years and finally did when I had an Amazon gift card over the summer and was bored because I didn’t have a real job. Whatever…
I tried this product, not one time, not two times, not three times, but FOUR freakin’ times. I think that should suffice as me giving it an actual try… and certainly not just “giving up.” Even though, that is essentially what I did…. every. single. time.
Maybe for some women, Diva Cup is the end-all, be-all solution to menstruation. It does offer some great benefits. The problem with those benefits, are that I don’t exactly give a shit about them. I mean – I tend to be on the eco-conscious side of things in life – however, I don’t really 100% care. Do you? Do you really think that not using tampons is going to save the world? OK, fine if you do. Next, I want my body to be 100% healthy and try not to willingly induce tons of toxins inside of it, but I mean – I’m not 100% convinced that TSS (toxic shock syndrome – from keeping tampons in for too long) would ever even happen to me. I have to switch my tampon far too frequently for that ever to be a problem… so in reality, there is not a specific cause that’s leading me to really want to use this product. So I’m having no or low expectations and just giving it a whirl.
All of my viewpoints are speaking from a “first time user” perspective…. and after the 4th month of trying Diva Cup, I still feel like a “first time user”…. which is already saying something. Yeah, things may get easier and you can get used to it after time passes. But this was not easy to “get used to.”
Inserting Diva Cup is not easy in my opinion, AT ALL. On the instructions paper (yes…) there are 2 diagrams of 2 different techniques to “fold” the cup so that it inserts into your vagina in an easier way. I tried both. Several times. And failed. Several times. It’s also worked. Several times. But then later failed. Several times. (I’ll get into that later…) It’s also bigger than a tampon… when folded. So like, enjoy shoving that up into your vagina. I was considering using lube, but then….what? no, Ashley – bad idea. What? UGH. Didn’t.
If you’re lucky enough to get the insertion correct, GREAT JOB! Woohoo! You got it in and this silicone cup is now up inside of your vagina – score. Basically your vagina eats this thing up and good the fuck luck trying to get that puppy out again…. (those were my first thoughts). But then the instructions go on further… saying, now you must ROTATE this cup 360 degress! UM….. WHAT?!?!
So there’s a little tube looking piece (you can see it in the diagram above) that would compare to a tampon string and would essentially help you remove your cup when you’re ready to do so. But it specifically states on the directions, do not use this to do your 360 degree spin. I tried, they’re right… basically that thing is not going to spin. So you have to reach your fingers inside and squeeze them up against the sides of your vagina to hopefully grab the cup and do a full “spin” of 360 degrees on the cup. On separate occasions I’ve either done the spin, or I’ve avoided the spin. Avoiding is a poor choice. Basically, you have to do the spin so that the cup “unfolds” and slides into the shape of your vagina and so that it can open fully to catch the blood. If you do not spin it could potentially stay sort of folded inside of you and either not open at all to catch or just sort of open and either way you’re going to get MAJOR LEAKAGE. Which IMO is a MAJOR PROBLEM.
Ok, so say if you complete this step (DOUBLE SCORE!) and you have your Diva Cup inserted. You’re a fucking all star if you’ve made it this far. Now starts my rant about the biggest product flaw that I see with this product. I wish I would show you what I mean by this ,so I think I’m going to draw it. So you can see exactly what I’m talking about. Otherwise, it’s confusing. Please hold….
Dude – This is my SOOOOO not technical and obviously NOT TO SCALE diagram. Hand drawn. LMAO — I actually can’t with this one, and I think I’ve truly out-done myself. I can’t believe this is what I think a vagina looks like. I’m probably way wrong, I don’t care though. This is what I want to tell you!!!
The part of the wall of your vagina still has blood on it that is never going to get caught by the Diva Cup because it just will never have the opportunity to. It’s below the Diva Cup opening. Gravity says that this blood will come out of you… so virtually every single time you remove / re-insert your Diva Cup, you’re going to still bleed out that amount of blood.
I would always recommend using a light panty-liner or thin pad each and every time you’re using this product. Which sucks and is a total fucking bummer and completely defeats the purpose of the whole process at all… am I right?
The purpose of a tampon is to avoid wearing a pad / diaper. Keep it all inside so there’s less chance of a mess on the outside. Diva Cup in theory should keep it all inside and let you go for much longer extended periods of time without having to change tampon or have it pushed out if you use the bathroom in any other way…. so that’s cool. Except it does not.
Further, using this product is fucking gross because it gets you DIRTY. For example, when you do use Diva Cup successfully (me, every time). Or say even if you somewhat use it successfully. You eventually finally have to remove it. Removal will be 100% messy and gross. Aside from that, it sort of will sound like suction cup or plunger when you’re removing it. Think about making that noise with a product that’s coming out of your vagina. And immediately you’re going to want to die / vomit. You pull it out of yourself and try not to get blood all over yourself – your hands, your toilet seat, your floor? WTF, not okay. Then it’s going to be a total fucking murder scene. This thing is going to be full of blood, so you then…. dump it out into the toilet. Great. Now there’s excess blood / tissue, whatever the F is left on it. VOM DOT COM. So what are you instructed to do? Clean it out. So yes, you have to physically go to your sink and rinse this out. Aka more touching with your hands. And you should use a mild soap obviously nothing that will irritate the inside of your vagina because then… other problems when you put it back in there. Worst.
My biggest fear / concern is what if you’re out of your own fucking home? Are you going to change this thing in a public restroom? The noise factor is already a problem here for me. Not okay. Next, when you’re finished removing.. oh let me just flush and go out to the sink and clean out my bloody Diva Cup… which takes a minute or so… and oh, now let me get back in that bathroom stall there and re-insert my Diva Cup.. in whatever awkward position I decided to get into to actually figure out how to get this cup inside of myself. Hopefully on the first try, sometimes on the third try, though. And if there’s a line in this restroom, I’m sure all of those other women waiting in line will totally understand what you’re doing… NOT! They’re gonna be like wtf does this weird girl think they’re doing?! Playing with her period? What is she like a 3 year old toddler playing with finger paint? UGH. Ew. I rest my case. Except, unfortunately for you, I’m going to keep writing.
Diva Cup failed me. Every time I tried it. And I always got it in wrong. Which is painful. I always felt it. Tampons I never, ever feel. Maybe because I shove it far enough up there or just a normal amount because I’m normal? … and I never feel it. This thing I feel when I’m sitting on the couch, I feel when I’m working out or walking around even. Not 100% feel it but most of the time I did. Maybe I was hypersensitive to knowing it was there. But with a tampon, I don’t forget that I have my period. Like I know in about 2.5 hours I’m going to have to change that thing. Just inherent knowledge… and I never felt it. So Diva Cup, I’m just NOT A FAN.
I don’t want to ever have that feeling where I’m like OMG I’m sitting in the middle of a meeting or somewhere that I’m not close to a bathroom or worse, where I won’t be able to access a bathroom for an extended period of time and feel a leak. Like any girl that has ever felt that…. which is EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!! KNOWS! That it is THE WORST FEELING EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! If you think it’s not, you’re a fucking liar and I don’t think you have actually ever menstruated.
Further, I have no reason to ever try to use this product ever again. I do not recommend it if you have no particular reason (environmentally friendly chick, allergic to tampons chick, TSS aware chick). Those girls, I think maybe you’d like to try it out and this could potentially be a better solution for you… that is, if you’re willing to deal with all the downsides of it. But maybe those aren’t that bad of downsides since you’re usually downsides are WAY worse than these anyway… so I guess, Good luck!
One way I think this product may be super helpful is in this scenario: Say you know you’re going to get your period tomorrow. Like you’re a very regular period betch and you know exactly which day you’re going to get it. Unlike myself, when I go to the bathroom some random day and I’m like, “Oh nice! Got my period, sickkkk!!” Ruined another Cosabella thong, but hey at least I got it… better start heavily medicating with Advil to subside the pain. Also, that must definitely have been why I have been such a bitch the past 2 days. Now it all makes sense. Random tangent – sorry. So yeah, if you do know yourself very well, it could be great for you to insert the morning that you know you’re going to get your period to avoid the potential underwear stain if you’re super against a pantyliner or pad or maybe you ran out of them. IDK?
Disclaimer: If you do want to try this product for yourself, YOU MUST WEAR A PANTYLINER OR PAD. I repeat, you MUST. Otherwise, you will 100% leak / stain / ruin beautiful / expensive underwear and I’m not about that life for you, me or anybody!
Disclaimer: If and when you do want to try Diva Cup for yourself, think back to my blog post that you read about it and remember that I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO.
If you have any tips or great success stories that you want to share with me… please, please be my guest. I’d love to hear about your fantastic experiences. Maybe I’m doing something totally wrong and you can change my life and I can try doing Diva Cup your way and I’ll love it and live happily ever after.
Until then, I’m team tampon. Signing off as I live out the rest of my menstrual cycle. Until next month, betches…
New Yorkers remembering David Bowie today outside of his Nolita apartment on Lafayette Street, NYC. ❤