The Apology

“It’s a shame that at some point people developed the belief that apologies make you look weak.” – LD

Sometimes Facebook inspires me. I know, right?! Who AM I? But this quote really struck me and as soon as I read it my mind started moving – a million miles a minute.

sorry

Apologizing is really difficult. There are times where I should have apologized or excused myself but I failed to do so because I felt like I looked dumb. I’m afraid this happens to a lot of us and we’re too afraid to admit it.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am by no means “team sorry” at all. Too many “I’m sorry’s” turns it into a meaningless statement that nobody appreciates or believes.

When people say “I’m sorry” as a form of endearment (vomit), I literally would prefer to rip their heads off their skulls than ever listen to their voice again…
Example:
Me: (complaining voice) “I don’t know what to do on Saturdaaaaaaay.”
Rando: “I’m sorry.”
Me: face of disgust (I’m not going to give you the feeling of accomplishment by saying “you don’t need to be sorry – nothing you did” because OBVIOUSLY! Like duh it’s not your fault. Why don’t you have a conversation instead of that closed ended response of I’m sorry. Ugh don’t speak to me ever I’m walking away now – bye.
“Yeah.”

Thanks for nothing, bro.

Apologizing has gotten the stigma of making people look weak. Especially in the workplace.

In families and intimate relationships, I’m sorry is a statement that gets overused and abused. Or worse, not used at all.

You expect your parents to do so much for you and they have done a lot for you since your birth YET you get frustrated and annoyed with them and forget to say please and thank you. Or apologize for when you forget. Even friends or boyfriends & girlfriends take the brunt of the over-apology, the non-apology, the fake-apology or the no-apology-at-all.

At work or with superiors is where I feel the apology has taken a back seat. As an employee, you don’t want to feel like a major IDIOT so you don’t apologize. You don’t want to let your boss think that you are making excuses. Which maybe you are, maybe you aren’t. However – it’s all in the presentation.

Boss: “You missed this entire report it should have been sent out yesterday. Now it won’t be there in time and we’re going to be in deep shit!”

Wrong response #1: Oops, Sorry!
Wrong response #2: (Do nothing & slowly scurry back to your desk).
Wrong response #3: Well, ya see – the reason why I didn’t do that is because I was waiting for Johnny to give me the correct answer and he didn’t respond to any of my emails.

Correct response: I apologize for not being thorough and completing this. I’ll work on it immediately and get it out by courier today so to will arrive immediately. Anything else that you’d suggest?

Bottom line is – be aware of your words and take initiative to face your mistakes and overcome them by apologizing for what was wrong in the situation.

Go back to your roots! By that I mean, Pre-School! I also need to get back to my roots meaning my roots specialist aka hair girl, because they’re in desperate need of some TLC.

In the meantime, Say you’re Sorry’s, Thank You’s and Your Welcome’s! Please do not believe that an apology makes you weak – WORK it, MAKE it, DO it, makes us Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger. -Kanye <3

NOTHING.

What to say when you don’t know what to say? Nothing.

How to act when you don’t exactly know how to act? Do you go for it? Do you hold back? Do you not want to regret an action or feel guilty? Do you want to feel happy but not sure if you’re going to?

For all of the indecisive people in this world, myself being one of the strongest – life works out better when you wait it out. Certain things, obv not all. But hear me out.

If you’re on the fence about how to react to something. Just, DON’T REACT. Don’t say a word. Do not respond. Do not talk back. Do not make a decision. The best way to react is to literally do nothing.

You look so much prettier whilst doing nothing. No frown lines. No wrinkles. Duh.

You feel so much less emotion, which is easier because you haven’t done anything. It’s a win for the moment. (I wish I could convey my tone of voice through this text – reason for all the bold/italicized font, UGH whatever).

Now, my advice does not mean do nothing forever. I mean, I’m not a total IDIOT. Like – you’re eventually going to have to face whatever problem you just avoided or deal with whatever you’ve been hiding from. But at least you’ll have a clear mind when you choose to do so. And most importantly, you’ll be in better control of the situation. The best way to use this form of advice is when somebody is specifically looking for a reaction from you. That is when you DO NOT GIVE A REACTION. You hold no mercy. Sorry, NOT sorry.

No apology needed! EVER! Don’t apologize to anybody for the way you feel. If you were a nasty person, then maybe an apology is due to the person you were nasty to. If you were having a bad day, apology isn’t always needed if your bad day is explained to previously mentioned party. A quick, “I’m sorry for the way I acted when I was hungry.” is acceptable. No dramatic apology here though.

I will never apologize to an idiot that doesn’t deserve one. I will say abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING. I don’t want to give you the satisfaction of the reaction. We are so done with the conversation.

Contrary to popular belief that I am the nastiest girl to live 😉 … I would like to take this opportunity to say thank you. In a “nothing” kind of way. It’s completely the best idea I’ve ever had to stay positive toward people who need it most. A smile says EVERYTHING. No words uttered. Just one smile. It screams something to everybody. I think it’s a super ugly thing to root for somebody else’s failure, no matter how much they suck. And how badly it #suckstosuck. In this case, you just smile wider.

Example #1: Guy you met at a bar texts you non-stop for 3 weeks and then just stops…because he clearly sucks. AKA, you were ghosted girlfriend. What do you want to do? Text him something like “hey stranger.” DON’T! Poor choice, immediately. You’re done, girl. Sorry beb. Over. Never do this. Do nothing. Simple. Thank me later.

Example #2: Friend #1 asks you to hold a secret. Other friend (#2) asks what’s going on with friend #1. Say nothing. It’s not worth it to speak of friend 1’s secret to friend 2. None of #2’s business. Leave them out of it. Friend 1 clearly did not want to you say anything to anybody, let alone friend 2! REACTION: NOTHING. Unemotional, unphased (not a real word, just Googled obv), inactive face. You have nothing to let on to or let out because there is nothing that needs to be shared. Keep that shit to yourself. Practice tolerance and willpower to not say a peep. Now, I’m not talking the “Oh, I totally know what you mean… She’s been super weird lately to me to I have no idea what’s going on with her though, it must be that douchey guy she’s talking to or that she’s been working over 60 hours a week. I don’t know – I guess I could ask her if you want me to.” I’m talking SHUT UP. Preferred response: (smile) “Nothing.”

This post was about “nothing” in particular, LOL hence it’s title. Except me.

SILENCE IS BETTER THAN BULLSHIT.

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