One of my best friends made a promise to herself in 2015 that she would go to the ocean once a month for every month of that year.
Even if it was cold, even if it was inconvenient and even if she had no time to do it – she went to the ocean. Being there in solitude or with a friend is really grounding – makes you think and allows you to reflect on what’s happened and look forward to what will happen.
This year I’m going to further this challenge with a vow to visit the ocean on a weekly basis or even more often, if possible. Starting a bit late into 2016, I was able to “make it” to the ocean once in January and once in February. Look for some photos and segments as 2016 goes on. #GoToTheOcean
I love this dirty sign. <3
All photos taken at different spots in Montauk, NY.
The recent months have been among the best and most healthy times in my emotional life. (UGH, this blog is going to be annoying – I can tell already). Getting to know myself – really, really well. By myself. Loving myself. Learning about myself. Narcissistic, much?
Being single is grounds for gaining a significant amount of knowledge – about none other than, yourself.
Change is one of the scariest and challenging times in this beautiful life. Going for new things. I’m about that life. Change is a beautiful thing.
This week I embarked upon a brand new journey. I started working in NYC. I left my job of eleven (yes, that’s right 11! years). I honestly have not really left – I can’t leave something that’s THAT good. I am however, changing careers. I want to do something different, explore new and exciting territory. I don’t like weddings and that’s what my career was specialized in. Why work in an industry that you don’t love? If you don’t even love love?! Definite time for a change. A change in love. A love for myself – which is developing stronger and stronger as I type (lolz).
Considering myself an extremely loyal person – I will never let anybody tell me differently. This quote kind of struck me funny – I really am starting to see my “disloyal” changes as self-loving. I’m kind of really into the things that I’m loving right now.
I’m no longer into being unloved, being surrounded by people who don’t need me, or by people who don’t care about me to the fullest. Venturing out into the deep blue sea because I would really rather do that. I’m a firm believer of throwing myself into situations that are not comfortable. Hell – I do that every day of my life. I’m trying to teach myself that it’s better to feel uncomfortable for 8 seconds than to feel uncomfortable for years on end. Small bits of uncomfortable situations are worth it. They’re great for human growth. Starting to leave what has left me. Ready for what the unknown has to offer.
“OMG I really really want a tattoo!” – dumb girls, everywhere…
And here I am again, solving your white girl problems. 😉
So here’s a cute way you can get a new tattoo without actually getting one. Fucking genius. obv.
I hear betches say things like this all the time…
“I want another tattooooooo!” “Let’s get matching tattoos!” “I want a lotus flower tattoo.” “I want a tattoo but I don’t know what I’d get.” OK, boring…
Here’s your answer – fake fucking tattoos, ummm duh.
Cuticle tattoos. How interesting.
I saw these bad boys from Rad Nails on Twitter (probs?) and had to try them out. They make 3 types of cuticle tattoos so I naturally purchased all 3 styles. Brought them to my manicurist Cindy to put them on me because I can’t do this shit on my own.
UMMM…. these are much more difficult than we both thought! After several attempts, Cindy just got frustrated, telling me that these were “weird” and not like the ones from China that she uses. I, of course had NO freakin’ time to be getting this detailed of a manicure to begin with…
So – we agreed she forcefully told me that she was just going to paint the exact replicas on my nails and call it a day. The design is cute – though not my style at all. Maybe I’ll try Rad Nails again one day when I have a LOT of time and patience.
“get naked, get dirty, get rough, get clean.” is the hot slogan of this sexy and clean skincare regime. frank is a coffee scrub that’s made in 2 formulas: “original” and “coconut & grapeseed.” I purchased the coconut & grapeseed formula because I’m less partial to orange (original).
Frank is natural & vegan and is known for scrubbing away dry skin, moisturizing, cleansing & clarifying. Frank is the man! He targets cellulite, stretch marks, psoriasis, varicose veins, eczema and acne. What more can you ask for in a man?!
Frank is made from ground Arabica coffee beans, cold pressed sweet almond oil, sugar and sea salt. They all have amazing healthful qualities and will 100% change the feel of your skin.
After using frank – I found that my skin was extremely soft for days on end! Definitely smelled like a latte after getting out of the shower! Whether you like the smell of coffee or not, you’re going to LOVE what frank can do for your skin. Plus it’s fun. 🙂
Having a signature scent is such a specific desire and once you have it, you’re known as that forever. I’ve been wanting to have one for as long as I can remember. I’m super jealous of friends who have that.
Further explanation: You know when you smell a smell and you immediately think of one specific person because it’s their smell? UGH – yes! LOVE THAT. Sometimes – don’t love that – like especially if I don’t love that person. Woof.
I don’t have a particular scent – I have so many scents & love to mix and match them according to my mood swings. 🙂
Admittedly, I smelled a scent last weekend at a cocktail party and freaked out because I knew the smell but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. I was having a sensory overload. I knew what it was, I couldn’t put a name to a scent. After a lot of deliberation, I figured out what it was and headed to the Hermès boutique at Americana Manhasset. I actually didn’t – I wrote it down in my Notes app on iPhone and went 3 days later.
The whole theme of the “Eau des Merveilles” line is of a fairytale. This fragrance “tells the tale of an imaginary journey at Hermès, the feet on the ground, the head among the stars. A modern fairy tale, bursting with charm and mystery.”
The Elixir has has notes of chocolate-covered candied orange peel, caramel, vanilla biscuit (vanilla sugar, tonka bean), creamy milk, sandalwood, incense, resins, ambergris, Peru balsam and balsam of Siam, oak, patchouli and cedar.
Seems pretty foody, huh?! I didn’t really want to smell like a baby prostitute or a confectioner’s kitchen so I was weary at first. I was wrong. So wrong. I’m obsessed with the Elixir. It isn’t over the top or foody – but it is definitely sweet. Not as orange as the Eau – much more candy-like.
Elixir des Merveilles is an Eau de Parfum, and it lasts long on your skin. If I was into having a signature scent, I’d want this to be mine because it makes me feel very strong & pretty.
Works well while wearing anything black. This scent brings CHICto a whole new level and is completely timeless.
Flat out– the price of being a female is much more than the pricetag of being a male. At least being a female like myself – active, healthy (mostly), likes to have fun, goes out far too much & is in her 20’s.
I’ve discovered that I really need to work on SAVING $$$. Saving money for my future. Saving money so that I can do all of the things that I really really REALLY want to do in my life.
Comparatively speaking, I’d say that since a young age, females are basically forced to spend more money on the daily than men are. This is simply due to the way of American society.Maintenance.
If you’re a dude and you’re good looking, YOU’RE REALLY FUCKING BLESSED AND REALLY FUCKING GOOD LOOKING.
If you’re a female and you’re good looking, you’ve got so many things that are taken into consideration – you’re good at doing make-up, your hair looks nice, your nails are clean & polished, your clothing looks nice, your skin looks great. Being that men don’t wear make-up, hardly do much to take care of their skin, shave (depending…) and their “hairstyle” usually takes under 1 minute to complete after getting out of the shower (debatable) – if they’re hot, they’re hot. Men have very little interference with their actual being of beauty. With that being said – if they’re good looking, they have really. got. it. going. on.
You know when you see celebrities on the cover of InTouch Magazine or OK! Magazine and they look absolutely heinous & awful?! Or the article is featured as “Celebs without Makeup – SHOCKING!” because they’re not as pretty as they’re made out to be. These articles are 99% of the time photos of women. Because 2013’s “Sexiest Man Alive” Adam Levine or Jake Gyllenhaal, Matthew McConaughey & Ryan Gosling are just that good. They don’t need makeup to look better – they’re just that freakin’ HOT! Forget about coming from the perspective of a female thinking males are hot – I think females are “hot” too and I will 100% attest to the beauty/hotness/sexiness of any female that deserves it. But it definitely costs her a LOT more than it costs Adam Levine.
Consider the following: since puberty, females have had to spend $ on feminine hygiene products (EW, I know. But honestly – shit’s expensive!). Maintaining beauty is expensive. Make-up is expensive. I spend too much $ on make-up so I’m a different case, but whether you’re drugstore shopping or department store shopping for make-up, you’re still spending money here. Skin care products: face wash, body wash, acne? (if you’ve ever had it, I don’t know?) anti-aging products as you get a little older, under eye cream, moisturizer, toners, the list goes on and on. Hair products: Shampoo, Conditioner, Brush, blow dryer, straightener, curling iron/wand, hair cuts & hair color is $$$$. Razors / Waxing / Laser Hair Removal – $ / $$ / $$$$. MANICURES & PEDICURES! – at the absolute cheapest you’re doing this yourself ($7 Essie nail polish, nail file $.99, Base Coat $5, Top Coat $5) – you can use these several times, but likely you won’t so you’re total spend is $18. If you’re me, you get a manicure every week. $8 plus tip. You get pedicures every other week in the summer (sometimes more) $15-$18+ plus tip. And I buy my own nail polish all the time as well because I like to have it and sometimes I BYOB to the salon. More $. Females also spend ungodly amounts of money on accessories. (Bags, jewelry, scarves, other random items).
Clothing – because being seen in photos in the same outfit more than once is social. fucking. suicide. Trends in fashion and in other aspects of life (like food, health, working out) are followed on a much stronger level by females than males. Trends are expensive because they’re ever changing and growing into something new. New new new. Girls are constantly chasing the next new “IT” item.
So girls start this whole process at around the age of 11-12 (sometimes younger). Guys that do care about grooming & their presentation usually do not start this until they’re a bit older. So if you were a guy that cared about your clothes, your hair, your skin, your sneakers, etc., you probably started this process a little bit later in life like late middle school or early high school. At this point, your parents were likely supporting you and taking care of whatever you may have wanted or needed. Not saying that females don’t have this going on because they do, but there’s MUCH MORE to take into consideration here.
As I matured, I wanted specific things. My parents would basically tell me, “No Ash, you don’t need this new shirt you just got a new shirt last weekend. No you don’t need another pair of shoes because you already have 17 pairs in your closet and only wear 3 of them. No, you don’t need to try that makeup because you’re a beautiful young lady and shouldn’t be spending money on makeup anyway!” Thanks Bobby & Judy, but I want those things anyway so I guess I’ll get a job and spend the money that I make on the extra things that I want and don’t need so that way I don’t have to hear you complain about things that I want. K?! Great. NOT!
Now, I’ve developed this really awful habit of working an excess amount to have an excess amount of $ so that I can spend it on excess things that I want. I’ve carried this process through for far too long. I bet this gives mixed feelings for many – I don’t care though. Maybe some people were better at saving money than I was because they didn’t care about things that I cared about? Maybe they were better at saving because their parents didn’t allow them to spend their money on things they wanted? Or their parents just bought them whatever they wanted? They were better about saving because they weren’t addicted to fashion/trends/being a fly betch?
For me – it’s a never ending cycle. This process has spiraled into how I live today – not really enough money in my savings account for my “later-in-life” goals (working on it though —- my later in life goals are unreal as you could possibly imagine…). But I do have a really great outfit for tomorrow night along with fabulous plans for tomorrow night & next weekend Wednesday.
If by chance you did not have the pleasure of this knowledge, the French people make outstanding beauty products. The pharmacy or “pharmacie” in Paris are like the high end designer CVS. High quality with exceptionally effective formulas AND the prices are fantastic. But let me tell you – bitches are crazy! I’m talking 3+ security guards at Citypharma (the mecca of all + Pharmacies).
Imagine the following: Women grasping their oversize plastic hand baskets, bumping into each other to snatch whatever they can get their hands on, weaving in and out of skinny little aisles. Much easier to navigate if you’re French, much more fun to navigate when you’re American. Pharmacies in Paris are much different than pharmacies in America. First, you aren’t holding a typical Venti Starbucks cup in your hand. Secondly, you can’t really go in and buy OTC drugs – you ask for them from the pharmacist. Basically best case scenario for next time is to first go up to the pharmacist and ask for Xanax. Then proceed to the beauty section to go head to head with Parisian women for the last €39,90 eye cream on the shelf. I went a little bit crazy (shocker) so I’m splitting this up into 2 parts.
Bioderma Créaline H2O
Removes makeup and cleans your face like a dream – odorless & basically like water but a whole lot better. This is a dream product & highly recommended. Use with a cotton pad – removes excess makeup even after you wash your face.
Embryolisse Lait-Crème Concentré
Overall moisturizer for daily use. From my experience it seemed a little heavy for my liking but dried well and didn’t leave any oily residue. Claims to be good for all skin types and I would say it worked nicely for combination skin like what I have. Not my favorite out of all moisturizers I tried.
Nuxe Huile Prodigieuse Multi-Usage Dry Oil
Oil is interesting to me. This oil is great because it’s meant for skin, hair, body…all over! I would never put oil in my hair because it’s so fine & thin and would completely weigh it down – but if it’s your thing – then cool. IT SMELLS AMAZINGGGGG! I used it on my dry as the arid desert legs and they were smoother in less than 24 hours. Aprox. €10.
Klorane Dry Shampoo With Oat Milk
This is a GAME CHANGER! I get oily hair and really hate using powdered dry shampoo because I’m really bad at it. Like I look like I dumped flour in my hair and I just don’t think it really works. So after giving this type a try from a recommendation, I’m hooked! Aerosol is an A+ for this product!
Avène Cold Cream
Which is not cold cream at all – it’s lip balm. And it’s heavenly! It makes chapped lips feel like a million bucks. And it has a gorgeous slight shimmer that looks like you put on lipgloss except you’re just treating your lips to a masterpiece of soft, plushy, hydrated goodness. Perfection.
Yes, I spent way too much $ or € on Parisian beauty. But better skin = less makeup so that’s good enough reason for me. Stay tuned for Part 2!
There’s much to say about organic beauty products – like, they’re actually good for your skin! There’s also much to say about J.Crew…. And my obsession with it! J.Crew is featuring the “Signature J.Crew Model Glow” right now & basically, always.
These girls look effortlessly flawless – such clean, crisp and perfect faces. Just the right amount of dewiness to create a fresh look that will never go out of style. J.Crew reveals that their secret weapon to making these girls look this way — organic beauty line RMS Beauty, more specifically – the “Living Luminizer.”
“the models look like they are lit from within.”
Rushed to J.Crew.com to find out that they were sold out of this glorious goop. Luckily the RMS Beauty website was in stock, shipped immediately and I had my luminizer within 2 days! Now that is quality service.
Application – you’re going to want to only use a little bit! Apply with your fingers in a dabbing motion. It will feel a little thick or “dewy” at first. If you swipe it on, it will remove your foundation or other make-up. No swiping!
You’re going to want to dab the luminizer over the cheekbones, down the bridge of your nose, inner corners of your eyes, direct center of your eyelids and right above the “cupid’s bow” in the center of your lips.
Brighter! I love showing DIY beauty tips/tricks because it just feels so much more OK to see it done on a “normal” DEFINITELY NOT NORMAL person than to see it done on a more than gorge J.Crew model. I look exactly like the J.Crew models in the look book below, right?! This wears really well throughout the day as well and I highly recommend it!
Has anybody had the feeling that they’re being watched? Have you gotten an unexpected reaction from people based on your appearance? After years of personal research from my experiences and those of others…I will say that people approach me more and are friendlier and nicer when I have more flaws.
When I’m exhausted and hungover and look like shit, more people will talk to me. If I look well and put together, less people will talk to me. I’m not talking about like going to an event or a particular function or interview, where you should def dress the hell up. BUT — when you’re at your absolute worst you def get more reaction.
I’m at Boston Logan Airport for a 6:30AM flight last Friday, my appearance resembles that of dog shit, I’m hardly awake, running late for my flight and waiting to go through security. It’s one of those – I need sunglasses on to hide my face and it’s not even sunny out – mornings. I’m with my best friend (who’s gorgeous) – but again, we are both looking rather ratchet. When we first started talking about this subject, we were shocked. Later on – we realized that this is blatantly OBVIOUS for a betch. More people chatted us up on this particularly ratchet looking morning, then we’re ever usually chatted up on any given day.
TSA Agent: “Hey – how ya doing this morning? Ya don’t look so happy!” Us: “Hungover!” / “Drank too much wine last night!” TSA Agent: “Oh hahahaha well ya better finish up those drinks before you go through security – can’t bring em with ya!” Us: Laughing. “Thanks!” TSA Agent (same guy, later on to another TSA Agent): “Watch out. These 2 are hungover and they’re coming through! Much happier than before!!”
OK – besides the fact that the exchange wasn’t funny at all – thanks for being nice to us! Thanks for joking around with us – it made us happy! 🙂 That’s the whole point – people are much nicer to you if you’re a little bit off your game. If your guard is down and you’re looking ratchet as all hell, expect nice things to come your way. It’s all about PAYING IT FORWARD. If you’re having a shit day – make someone else happy when your’e feeling sad. When you feel stuck – help someone else! We were at a bar the night before – nobody tried to “pick us up,” have any form of conversation or was social with us in the slightest – but we looked good.
Who would’ve ever thought I’d be listing Mother Teresa’s Humility List on my blog? Not me – but then again, I really like surprises!
On the contrary, if I would’ve looked really well – dressed up, hair and makeup done, looking fierce– nobody would have spoken to me. They would have looked, that’s for damn sure. But striking up cute conversation – 100% NO FUCKING WAY. When I look worse, I get more attention then on a typical day. MUCH MORE than when I try hard to look normal.
“I looked like shit at the market tonight and people talked to me and were nice.” Theory, proven. Boom.
People, especially men feel much more intimidated by women that are totally put together and looking great. Especially when it’s women in numbers. This is like scientifically proven, somehow or somewhere…(insert case study here that I’m too lazy to search for). I don’t even want to single out men because I do this to other women as well. Like if you’re a “threat,” I’m not going out of my way for you. If you’re an equal (by way of appearance – I know this sounds really shady & vain) I’ll probably be nicer to you.
I’m sure you also know “those people” though – like they are completely ratchet ON PURPOSE! They don’t give a shit about anything or anyone – they look ridiculous on the reg. And people FUCKING LOVE THEM! I have people like this in my mind right now. Like you usually just look at them in disgust because you’re so over their song & dance. BUT – these ratchets are crowd pleasers!! People love to hate them and hate to love them. Ratchet people get attention because they’re too ridiculous to not watch or pay attention to.
Now, I’m DEFINITELY NOT describing myself as a Full Time Ratchet Betch – BUTTTTTTT I would say that I can fit into that category on occasion… during those occasions – my popularity level goes up with strangers. Also goes up with my besties. Goes down for my parents because they are NOT a fan of my ratchetness. For DEF sure. for 100% def sure. Correlation — people like hot messes? Or at least pay attention to them and are nice to them. Flawed or not, looking like shit and not actually being a heinous looking human being, you’re going to gain some sort of respect.