The recent months have been among the best and most healthy times in my emotional life. (UGH, this blog is going to be annoying – I can tell already). Getting to know myself – really, really well. By myself. Loving myself. Learning about myself. Narcissistic, much?
Being single is grounds for gaining a significant amount of knowledge – about none other than, yourself.
Change is one of the scariest and challenging times in this beautiful life. Going for new things. I’m about that life. Change is a beautiful thing.
This week I embarked upon a brand new journey. I started working in NYC. I left my job of eleven (yes, that’s right 11! years). I honestly have not really left – I can’t leave something that’s THAT good. I am however, changing careers. I want to do something different, explore new and exciting territory. I don’t like weddings and that’s what my career was specialized in. Why work in an industry that you don’t love? If you don’t even love love?! Definite time for a change. A change in love. A love for myself – which is developing stronger and stronger as I type (lolz).
Considering myself an extremely loyal person – I will never let anybody tell me differently. This quote kind of struck me funny – I really am starting to see my “disloyal” changes as self-loving. I’m kind of really into the things that I’m loving right now.
I’m no longer into being unloved, being surrounded by people who don’t need me, or by people who don’t care about me to the fullest. Venturing out into the deep blue sea because I would really rather do that. I’m a firm believer of throwing myself into situations that are not comfortable. Hell – I do that every day of my life. I’m trying to teach myself that it’s better to feel uncomfortable for 8 seconds than to feel uncomfortable for years on end. Small bits of uncomfortable situations are worth it. They’re great for human growth. Starting to leave what has left me. Ready for what the unknown has to offer.
“Yeah, I hang out with him sometimes because it’s really convenient.”
Oh really. WTF am I – CVS?
I keep telling myself to “Stop using your life/body as a convenience store.” You don’t need it as badly as you think. Do I really need to remain constant in anything in my life because it’s convenient? No. Not at all.Convenience isn’t even worth anything to me. Change is the only constant in our lives. Fuck that CVS style convenience store lifestyle.
Actually – theoretically speaking, go to that CVS on the corner, buy yourself some pick-me-ups…and change!! Small changes everyday make for a greater change over time. So many options, so little time. Make a move, get things done. Do what makes you happy – not what’s easiest.
Working away from convenience store life and into extreme, meticulous thought process life is difficult. Like a large department store? Specific boutique? Mall of America? Black Friday midnight madness? Manhattan during the week before Christmas? Bingo. Complexities are scarier for sure, but I think they’re more worth it in the long run. (Also unsure if this shopping comparison made sense to anybody besides myself). At least I’m being inconvenient! LOLZ.
Begin an inconvenience store – start working extremely hard at things that need extreme work in your life. You know what they are – those things that you’ve been avoiding doing. Your New Year’s Resolutions 2014! (2013, 2012…) That you forgot about because that holiday was like so long ago and it’s already been Valentine’s Day & St. Patrick’s Day and you’re way over it by now. Also you’re probably hungover. Deep within, the things that need improvement and that you recognize, are the most meaningful in your life. Just because something is convenient, does not make it right. Or easy. Because convenience is sometimes the most inconvenient thing present in your life.
Say goodbye and be free of the convenience store – ie. ex-boyfriend you were still hooking up with occasionally or at your own convenience. Cool – that’s nice, until it’s not. Until you’re over it. Until you’ve been burned so many times that you’re unaffected by the burn. That’s when you start burning him. It’s not always a guy – it could be a relative, a friend, a co-worker, anybody you know, your worth much more than a goddamn drugstore or 7-11. Give yourself a little bit of motivation and peace the fuck out. Welcome in a lifetime of happiness for you. Work hard at it because convenience is over rated and it usually comes at a much higher price.
I mean, it’s only good when it’s like chocolate being the end cap at the tampon aisle.