How To: Get What You Want – Part THREE

HOW TO: Get What You Want

Yes, there’s 3 parts. No, there shouldn’t be.

But I had to break this information up into 3 blog posts. Because I’m not about giving you all of the information easily. And for dramatic effect (see Part 2).

But this is how you’re going to make people GLAD to do what you want. They’re going to be begging you to do exactly what you want them to do.

money cannot buy

Start off with compliments! Praise the person and appreciate what they’re doing for you. “You’re very beautiful, I really like the way that you do your eye makeup.” “Next time you’re doing it though, can you make sure to clean up the powder that’s left behind all over the sink?” It’s much easier to hear unpleasant things after you hear something positive about yourself.

Indirectly criticize. Don’t say a word to the idiot that isn’t doing his job at work. Do it for him… step right in and let him look on as you complete the task. Once he catches on that you’re there, acting on something – you let him finish. He will feel it – he’ll know what he did was wrong. He’ll respect you for not talking to him like an inferior, but allowing him to not do what he should have been doing. Reward people for their idiocy. Let them get away with it – but also let them KNOW they were an idiot. Change your “BUT’s” to “AND’s.” Failure is washed away. Get rid of the but – it changes the tone.

Talk about yourself (easy), but talk about your mistakes FIRST. It’s easy to criticize somebody – but also, think about WTF they know or don’t know. If you’re an expert (or you consider yourself one), other people don’t know as much shit as you do. OBVIOUSLY. So take it easy – and instead of making someone feel dumb with “WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT, IT’S ALL WRONG!” have some compassion. “OMG, I DID SOMETHING SO SIMILAR WHEN I FIRST STARTED DOING THAT. ONCE I MESSED UP THIS ENTIRE THING… TRY THIS, IT’S HELPFUL!”

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. “Have you ever thought of…?” or “Do you think this would work…” Nobody likes to be barked at. Or be given orders. You definitely get what you want much easier if you give some options. You give opportunity to people to do things for themselves and it boosts self-esteem. It also removes the feeling of resentment.

If somebody sucks at something, let them do something that they’re actually good atDon’t highlight the shitty job a person is doing. Take a minute and think of something that they do really well – sometimes it is not AT ALL whatever you want them to do. However, something completely different – sometimes better! Have that person do that – it will be better for them and embarrass them way less. This is “feel good shit” people!

“Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.” Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.” Praise is what makes people better – positive reinforcement – not negative. Keep going!! Praise can truly change a person’s life. With a little bit of encouragement, a person can really go places. As for getting what you want, successful people make successful surroundings. You can really move mountains with a positive message in the life of a friend, colleague or subordinate. They’ll remember the feeling you left them with. Always. People are thirsty, quench their thirst.

Reputation – it’s all about a person’s reputation. Once you give somebody a really great reputation to live up to – they’re going to. You create a situation where you force a person to compare their own life back to themselves. Sometimes this is difficult to face, but ultimately, it’s rewarding. Great leading tactic, really. Let somebody live up to their previous self – it’s easy to give a bit of suggesting advice this way.

Encourage and make the shitty shit they did seem super easy to correct. It gives people the desire to improve. Please help them, do it for the greater good of the world.

Make the person happy to do exactly what you want them to do. Give them some reward or recognition. Don’t let them down but suggest cool things about it! Don’t give them the opportunity to not be excited about it. Your request should really make the other person have the idea that they will personally benefit. Consider what they will gain, and let them gain it.

“My popularity, my happiness and sense of worth depend to no small extent upon my skill in dealing with people.” – Dale Carnegie

love this photo
love this photo

Based on: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

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How To: Get What You Want – PART Deux

Get people to Think EXACTLY How You WANT!

Avoid all arguments with people. Always. I’m confrontational – but ONLY when I need to be. Otherwise, I’d rather let you go on and on about whatever you want to and never say a thing about it. Until I need to tell you to shut up. Because I likely don’t really care. Arguments are rarely necessary. Fighting is absolutely never necessary. Over it already, bye.

colorful bullets?
colorful bullets?

Respect the people you’re trying to get what you want from. Respect their opinions and what their goals are. Telling them that “they’re wrong” will get them to dislike your opinions and eventually dislike you. Don’t put yourself in a predicament where you have to backpedal. Disrespect never got ‘nobody ‘nowhere!

Admit your faults and your flaws. If you were wrong, admit that shit! Acknowledge that shit. Get overrrrrrr it. Get through it quickly by letting the other person know you were wrong and you would like to make right on that. It will make the other person feel better about themselves. And it will make you feel better about yourself in the future.

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Be a friendly betch. “You catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar.” I for one, don’t know why anyone would willingly want to be catching flies…. EVERBUT – I guess if catching flies is your fucking thing – use the honey. And be friendly, silly! 🙂

Make your conversations VERY POSITIVE. Get people saying “yes!” Like, get them happy. Get them motivated and make them happy about what they’re about to do (for you!). C’mon people – positive psychology is ALWAYS better than negative – even if you never payed attention in Psych 101 with Dr. Whomever in college – you’ve got to know that that guy B.F. Skinner talked about how positive reinforcement through conditioning is what rules! If that’s the only thing I learned in Psych than at least I learned something. Also Pavlov’s dogs. 😉 (End rant).

PEOPLE LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES! (For example – MY ENTIRE FUCKING BLOG!) I love talking about myself. And relating things to myself. Because I rule this world blog. lol When people speak, they usually like what they have to say say – they like to think that ideas are theirs. Get people thinking what you think and let them talk about it. Get them on your page and lead them to believe they got there themselves. They’ll think your fabulous idea is actually their fabulous idea. And who cares whose idea it really is? If you’re gaining something in the long run, let them think they thought of it. Sheer brilliance. Goals accomplished.

See where this person is coming from as well. Don’t disown their ideas because you know they didn’t think of them. Be interested in their your idea! Really FEEEEEL them – you make these people also feel like what they’re doing is the RIGHT THING. Like they’re helping you. They’re helping the cause. They’re helping themselves.

Like any betch in her right mind would do – MAKE THAT SHIT DRAMATIC!

create dramatic effect
create dramatic effect

People respond to dramatics. It gives them something to talk about in their mostly boring lives. Throw some shit in their faces. Let this person know that you mean business. And show them you mean business…make it good. Like really, really good. Why else waste time on something if it’s not gonna be good?! Drama makes life enjoyable and keeps people guessing. Don’t make it boring and obvious drama

Lastly, make it count. Challenge bitches! Give a person a challenge to do exactly what you want. Most people will accept challenges. Most people not only accept challenges, but go at them so hard that they perform much better than you were anticipating. People can really out-do themselves. Again and again. Betches love challenges. Don’t you? So do guys. Making people believe in themselves is a fun thing to do and in the end, all are winners.

All of this shit sounds a bit mundane but it’s common sense. These things will literally get people eating out of the palm of your hand. Not that you want people eating out of your hands but I’m really about little sayings like that. You’re well on your way to getting what you want!

Based on: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To: Get What You Want

DO NOT ACCEPT NO AS AN ANSWER.

Here I’m going to provide you with a few quick tactics over 3 posts on

HOW TOGET WHAT YOU WANT!

If you’re 100% DEVOTED to making something happen – you do not allow “No” to happen. It’s all about your approach. If you’re smart, you give the party you’re negotiating with some options – you will never allow the other party to win because you’re not giving them an option that you’re not going to gain at least something… The options you give make the person decide which is the lesser of all evils for them of all of your options. Leave them with no choice but to pick their best option (potentially your shittiest option) which is still a win for you and at the worst a moderate loss for them. You don’t care about what they lose, but you want to be sure that they’re in fact gaining something as well.

People like to win. People like to feel good about themselves. You must make this happen. Talk to people about what they’re interested in – who cares if you don’t like Game of Thrones and they’re obsessed with it? Learn something ironic about Game of Thrones and talk to this person about it. Be interested, you’re getting ahead with them! I have no fucking clue what Game of Thrones is, BTW.

This is simple for betches who get what they want on a daily basis. If you cannot cope with the fact that you may not get what you want – you will learn exactly how to never have that happen to you. Ever again.

You manipulate people. It sounds messed up, but you do it in a way that they do not even realize it. You learn how to let people work for you. And still gain ground. You literally make people feel good about themselves. You make people feel like they’re really important (because they are…right?!). You butter them up a little bit – they’re guaranteed to be a little bit more willing to do something for you. I”m not talking about lying and cheating and stealing from people here. Become genuinely interested in people – it works! I’m talking about showing people how they’re gaining from what they’re doing by helping YOU!

Smile. Duh. It looks better on yaaa…

People think about themselves. Such an obvious thing here but REMEMBER A PERSON’S NAME!! It makes a huge difference and they’ll like you a lot for it. People put themselves first always (usually always, unless Mom’s)- so if what you’re asking of them will really benefit them in some way all whilst really benefiting you – they’re 100% going to do it. And you just won. And you just manipulated somebody in doing something for you. And you didn’t have to do it.

You LISTENED. Listening is key here – you need to let this person express their feelings and you need to feel compassion for this person and make them feel really great after talking to you. They’re going to want that great feeling again – they’ll be chasing that high. They’re going to want to spend time with you and be around you. You’re winning (they are too) but it doesn’t matter because you are.

“If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.” – Dale Carnegie

References from: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

…more to follow on this baby…