Get OVER It.

I’ve literally told people to “Get Over It” from the moment I could speak. I need to “Get Over It” myself at times. The phases of a breakdown are very extreme. Everything is fine one moment and then the next it seems like the world is actually ending. No, actually. But here’s how you “Get Over It.”

#FBF if I've ever seen one. <3
#FBF if I’ve ever seen one. ❤

This is what goes on…

Freak the F Out

This step is so black and white. You need to get over your initial shock and anger and fear and upset feelings. You literally throw a temper tantrum and get it all out of your system. Sometimes you need to go for a run, CRY, drink a lot of wine, CRY, pout, frown, sing a song, CRY a little more. Whatever it is that you do – it needs to be done.

Come Down

Now it’s time to take a shower, light a candle, take off your makeup, put your feet up. You’ve actually got to calm yourself down and begin removing the stress from your life through meditative practice.

Wardrobe

Dress in all black so that your outfit matches your current state of “dark soul.” Maybe dark grey – maybe. Play it safe and stick with black. You did just have a very traumatic day, after all.

Find yourself, quickly!

Do something to make yourself feel a LOT better. I know it may be your “fault” or you possibly could have done the wrong thing somewhere along the line. Regardless of the situation, I think you should do something positive for yourself to realign the stars of happiness and positivity. This is probably where my shopping problem comes into serious effect. Have a bad day? Go shopping. Have a great day? Go shopping. Have an average day? Go shopping. Have a major freak out session and have no clue what to do, and you’ve been crying for like 3 hours? Get a green tea, go online shopping.

Get a plan together and begin to accept.

No matter what, whatever happened has already happened. It’s time to accept what happened and analyze why it happened. This is where you really learn from your mistakes or rather, your experiences. I don’t tend to think of the bad things that happen as mistakes. Everything happens for reasons in your life – sometimes they suck. But I believe it’s difficult to look back at the sucky situations and say that you have not learned something. I bet you have – even if it was to “never do that again.”

 

After that –

you should sit back and have a cocktail. STAT.

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Decoding The Lies!

Decoding the language of modern relationships.

Here ya go guys, I’m here to give you the “literal meanings” behind what people are saying to you. They’re reasons and excuses – excuses often times get a bad rep. This is because excuses are merely lies. There are things that betches say to cover up our true feelings or “the real reasons.”

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For example:

“I don’t want to be in a relationship.”

Real meaning: I just don’t want to be in a relationship with YOU. If somebody else comes along that I really like or that I can get away with more shit with, then I’m definitely going to date them, OK? I’m just trying not to make you feel bad. But in the meantime, I’ll still hang out with you, string you along and continue to have sex with you because it’s easy and convenient.

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“We didn’t work out because of bad timing.”

Real meaning: He had a girlfriend. Or a wife.

“I want to get over him but we have a REALLY strong connection.”

Real meaning: He’s good in bed. I hate his guts, he’s partially retarded, but it’s worth it to keep him around for a little while longer because I’m not over having sex with him yet.

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

Real meaning: I hardly even want to be your friend because I can’t even stand you. There’s no way in hell I want to be your girlfriend. I also don’t want to totally remove you from my life because I may need you to do something for me at some point in the future.

“Sorry – I’ve been really busy.”

This just gives the impression that you’re so busy (you know, busier than a world leader busy) and that you haven’t had the time to contact or see them. Real meaning: “I’m not interested / I’m halfway in it / I’ve been trying to get back with my ex.” And you’re really hoping that he just ends it for you so you don’t have to “hurt feelings.”

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The Admitting Cheater

“I need to get this off my chest – something happened last weekend. I hooked up with your friend, ______. We were drunk and it didn’t mean anything, but I just wanted you to know.”

What a piece of shit. So much so that you’re such an asshole that you’re going to run to your current girlfriend/boyfriend and admit to them that you just slept with that slut? or their best friend? or whoever the random person was. Because YOU can’t deal with it yourself. You want to bring the person who you’ve already hurt MORE INTO IT?! That’s real fucking nice. You cheated. You can’t cope with your problems. So – to make YOURSELF feel better, you’re going to tell your significant other that you cheated on them. That’s fucking smart, you silly idiot. So now you can make them feel way worse. You can feel so much better because you really needed to get that off your chest, and they’re going to have feelings of invalidity and doubt and haste because you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants. Great fucking idea – tell the world why don’t ya? Dipshit.

Real meaning: I’m the biggest idiot alive and never talk to me again because I have no backbone and a small penis, OBVIOUSLY.

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Apology Accepting

“I’m so sorry. I’ll never do it again. I know I said that last time, but I’m really serious and I really love you and you’ve got to trust me.” 

Real meaning: “Look, can you hurry the fuck up and accept my apology so I can stop feeling bad about it? You perceiving me as wronging/hurting/abusing/whatever you think is really inconvenient and my ego does NOT like this reality. So if you don’t mind, get over the fucked up shit I did to you, accept my apology and let’s move on so I can get my sex life & perfect image back.” I basically want to get back to doing exactly what I always do. Also, be sure to reduce your expectations of a relationship with me immediately.

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Behind every excuse is the real reason.

“You’ll know you’re in a healthy relationship when you don’t have to listen to excuses or make excuses. Instead of accepting excuses, start accepting the reasons.”

17 Green Things

Getting in the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day & month, I’ve compiled a list of all green things that I’m currently obsessed with. Hope you enjoy and get a little green love spirit in your life during the month of March.

1. Mint Leaves in Water 

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Adds a little bit of flavor to your typically boring water bottle & has great health benefits as well. Great for digestive tract and for IBS sufferers (me), great for skin, nausea, muscle pain and fresh breath!

2. Frozen Green Grapes

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Sweet little snack that can help with diet cravings – pretend it’s like ice cream or something?!

3. Essie Nail Polish: Mojito Madness

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Essie has a few really chic greens for the month of March. Mint Candy Apple is another fave!

4. Green Beans 

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Easy & healthy dinner option.

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5. Green Sandals

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These are cute from Nine West would be cute with a white or ivory sun dress and a camel colored bag during the summer.

6. Green Eggs

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Scrambled eggs & avocado – one of my favorite breakfasts! No carbs, protein and healthy fats. Add S&P, a little hot sauce or Sriracha and you’re golden.

7. iMessage Icon

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Doesn’t this make you kind of happy?

8. Cucumber Eye Wraps

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Help out those tired eyes – I’ve done these a few times and I don’t exactly see how it helps but it makes me feel pretty good while I’m doing so and gives a sense of relaxation. I’m about that life.

9. Green Sour Patch Kids

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Green is overall a great flavored kid! I’m obsessed with SPK – it’s bad.

10. Green hair!! Kidding – but this Davines Shampoo & Conditioner combination is fantastic!

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Infused with Spinach Extract and great for damaged hair! I use this and highly recommend. Smells fantastic too!

11. Eminence Stone Crop Gel Wash 

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Another organic product I use daily – Eminence is amazing – great for sensitive skin and all natural. Leaves skin super smooth & soft.

12. Money 

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Make that paperrrrr BETCH!

13. Green Beanie

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Love this neon green beanie from Urban Outfitters.

14. Patron Silver – Need I say more? Tequila is delicious.

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15. Green Dress 

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Dress from Piperlime – Tinley Road.

16. Green Smoothie

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Homemade green smoothies are gratifying and sometimes delicious, sometimes just ‘healthy.’ Robek’s in Plainview has great juices & smoothies!

17. Green Nike’s 

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Happy St. Patrick’s Day & Month. Green it up! xo

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2014 – woke up this morning, still a bitch.

Happy 2014!

Woke up this morning in my apartment, alone, with an amazing outlook on my beautiful life. Wholeheartedly, decided to open up the refrigerator & remove 1 bottle of celebratory champagne. Followed by opening up the cabinet and removing 1 of my mother’s gorgeous champagne glasses from her wedding, which I now have because divorce. (Thanks parents, for all of your fab belongings that remind you of each other, that have been forcefully gifted to me. Love you much). And now I’m drinking the entire bottle to my face, because I’m me. Thank God I don’t mind what people think of me.

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Sat down to do my daily reading/stalking on IG, Twitter, Facebook, so that was different.

This year I’m going to do new things. I’m not going to focus on all of the “off” things in my life & focus on the positive things. Do cool shit. Do new things. All the time – step out of the comfort zone because I’m pretty good at being forced out of the comfort zone. Might as well just stay there and live it well.

Up on the agenda:

Learn French.

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Look back at it.

xo