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JUST BECAUSE YOU TOOK LONGER THAN OTHERS, DOESN’T MEAN YOU FAILED.

Sunset Overlooking the Great South Bay from Smith Point Beach, Long Island, NY

Sunsets are a happy reminder that the day is coming to a close. Everything will begin again tomorrow. Maybe today is your tomorrow. Everything takes time. Cyclical reminders from the world – you’ll get there.

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Get OVER It.

I’ve literally told people to “Get Over It” from the moment I could speak. I need to “Get Over It” myself at times. The phases of a breakdown are very extreme. Everything is fine one moment and then the next it seems like the world is actually ending. No, actually. But here’s how you “Get Over It.”

#FBF if I've ever seen one. <3
#FBF if I’ve ever seen one. ❤

This is what goes on…

Freak the F Out

This step is so black and white. You need to get over your initial shock and anger and fear and upset feelings. You literally throw a temper tantrum and get it all out of your system. Sometimes you need to go for a run, CRY, drink a lot of wine, CRY, pout, frown, sing a song, CRY a little more. Whatever it is that you do – it needs to be done.

Come Down

Now it’s time to take a shower, light a candle, take off your makeup, put your feet up. You’ve actually got to calm yourself down and begin removing the stress from your life through meditative practice.

Wardrobe

Dress in all black so that your outfit matches your current state of “dark soul.” Maybe dark grey – maybe. Play it safe and stick with black. You did just have a very traumatic day, after all.

Find yourself, quickly!

Do something to make yourself feel a LOT better. I know it may be your “fault” or you possibly could have done the wrong thing somewhere along the line. Regardless of the situation, I think you should do something positive for yourself to realign the stars of happiness and positivity. This is probably where my shopping problem comes into serious effect. Have a bad day? Go shopping. Have a great day? Go shopping. Have an average day? Go shopping. Have a major freak out session and have no clue what to do, and you’ve been crying for like 3 hours? Get a green tea, go online shopping.

Get a plan together and begin to accept.

No matter what, whatever happened has already happened. It’s time to accept what happened and analyze why it happened. This is where you really learn from your mistakes or rather, your experiences. I don’t tend to think of the bad things that happen as mistakes. Everything happens for reasons in your life – sometimes they suck. But I believe it’s difficult to look back at the sucky situations and say that you have not learned something. I bet you have – even if it was to “never do that again.”

 

After that –

you should sit back and have a cocktail. STAT.

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How To: Get What You Want

DO NOT ACCEPT NO AS AN ANSWER.

Here I’m going to provide you with a few quick tactics over 3 posts on

HOW TOGET WHAT YOU WANT!

If you’re 100% DEVOTED to making something happen – you do not allow “No” to happen. It’s all about your approach. If you’re smart, you give the party you’re negotiating with some options – you will never allow the other party to win because you’re not giving them an option that you’re not going to gain at least something… The options you give make the person decide which is the lesser of all evils for them of all of your options. Leave them with no choice but to pick their best option (potentially your shittiest option) which is still a win for you and at the worst a moderate loss for them. You don’t care about what they lose, but you want to be sure that they’re in fact gaining something as well.

People like to win. People like to feel good about themselves. You must make this happen. Talk to people about what they’re interested in – who cares if you don’t like Game of Thrones and they’re obsessed with it? Learn something ironic about Game of Thrones and talk to this person about it. Be interested, you’re getting ahead with them! I have no fucking clue what Game of Thrones is, BTW.

This is simple for betches who get what they want on a daily basis. If you cannot cope with the fact that you may not get what you want – you will learn exactly how to never have that happen to you. Ever again.

You manipulate people. It sounds messed up, but you do it in a way that they do not even realize it. You learn how to let people work for you. And still gain ground. You literally make people feel good about themselves. You make people feel like they’re really important (because they are…right?!). You butter them up a little bit – they’re guaranteed to be a little bit more willing to do something for you. I”m not talking about lying and cheating and stealing from people here. Become genuinely interested in people – it works! I’m talking about showing people how they’re gaining from what they’re doing by helping YOU!

Smile. Duh. It looks better on yaaa…

People think about themselves. Such an obvious thing here but REMEMBER A PERSON’S NAME!! It makes a huge difference and they’ll like you a lot for it. People put themselves first always (usually always, unless Mom’s)- so if what you’re asking of them will really benefit them in some way all whilst really benefiting you – they’re 100% going to do it. And you just won. And you just manipulated somebody in doing something for you. And you didn’t have to do it.

You LISTENED. Listening is key here – you need to let this person express their feelings and you need to feel compassion for this person and make them feel really great after talking to you. They’re going to want that great feeling again – they’ll be chasing that high. They’re going to want to spend time with you and be around you. You’re winning (they are too) but it doesn’t matter because you are.

“If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.” – Dale Carnegie

References from: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

…more to follow on this baby…