Parties and Events

Getting dressed up for holiday parties is fun yet stressful. This year my holiday party at work was themed “Andy Warhol Factory,” which led to freak-out mode for me…what do I wear?! It ended up being a mixed crowd, with some people in mini dresses and neon colored wigs, some dressed as themselves, some in character and some pretty standard. My admittedly poor contribution to the theme were super old-school suede platform Jeffrey Campbell booties, sort of 1960s? maybe not, but I went with it.

3e621ae0-5448-4d7a-9e08-256c95798e00 The props at this venue were sick and all of the waiters and bartenders wore banana suits. The photo booth theme was very banana-esque as well and filled with trash can sized Campbell’s Soup or rather, “Marc Jacobs Soup.”

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Parties are never complete without some feel-good element. Over the holiday I attended a family party that’s pajama themed, our now 3rd annual “Pajama Christmas Eve.” To play up the fact that I would be wearing pajamas and pictures wouldn’t possibly be that cute – I decided getting my hair blown out was necessary – plus gift cards were involved. 😉

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drybar is my favorite place to get my hair blown out! They always do a fabulous job with my hair + (plus) they give you complementary champagne. Win.

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Pajama Christmas Eve ❤ Photo was originally from Snapchat, hence the blurriness.

Gypsy Water

IMG_4967Gift cards mean endless holidays. This right here. Is solid gold. ❤ In a liquid form, of course.

To be used while wearing black. Xx

TGE

TGE – Thanksgiving Eve. Also known as Thanks but Get me the Fuck Out of Here Eve.” Biggest party night of the year – great. Because I love oh so much to see all of the ratchets from my town in one single bar on one single night all pretending to love each other and “catch up” since the last time they did this a few weeks ago. UGH – sounds more like social suicide if you ask me.

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Old Faithful

 

Not that I’m trying to be a downer to a night of debauchery – because trust me – I will partake. I will be at the bar – I will go out with my friends. I will socialize with my (ex?) (sort of together?) (what are we?) (does anybody know because I sure don’t!) boy and my other ex and my other one too…OOPS.  I will probably say hi to people who I don’t like (against my will), just because I am “polite.” Not a fan of the awkwardness though – I’ll totally avoid a person and not speak to him/her just so I don’t have to deal with awkward conversations. Just saying – If we aren’t friends, we don’t need to have a fake catch up session for less than one minute while I pass by in a cramped hallway. However –  If I do care about you and we haven’t seen each other in a very long time – I will 100% have a QUICK catch up session with you, exchange phone #’s if we don’t already have them & I WILL FREAKING TEXT OR CALL YOU. AT A LATER DATE. Not on TGE at a bar with a million drunk people.

#ratchetbitches. You know the type. The girls who are probably younger than you – or around your age – could be older, which is REALLY very unfortunate for them — eek. They’re wearing a mini dress that you’d probably wear to a DJ Theo show in Atlantic City because – they’re not the type of girls that go to Vegas. You would never wear what’s in their closet to begin with. But they’re probably going to be wearing sparkles. Too short for the eye to even gather what is going on. They’ll also be wearing extremely high heels – probably sparkles. Oh and the major kicker is that they cannot walk in their heels either. And it’s not like the, “oh I just got this brand new pair of Brian Atwood’s that I haven’t quite gotten used to wearing yet.”  A better example is walking like it’s their 2nd-3rd day as little toddler baby. Clinging to anything and everything including YOU and your boyfriend while thinking they look sexy as F in their brand spankin’ new Forever21 pumps. Which are slicing the backs of their heels with every step, they’re already bleeding. Those shoes are coming off ASAP! OH – they also spilled half of their CRANBERRY x well vodka on your shoulder because OBVI they drink cranberry vodka and obvi they don’t know how to walk with a drink in hand. Silly girls – watch out for these! (I’ve been this girl once or twice ;o)  especially the falling type – shhhh!)

Whatever – I guess this is just like any other night out at the bar. Typical. But that is my main point here – like I do not see the big deal of TGE. Why does everyone care? I get it – everybody is off tomorrow for Thanksgiving so let’s all get super fucked up and eat turkey and mashed potatoes hungover the next day. BUT really?! I don’t see the glamour of TGE. I’ve never, ever liked doing anything that hoards of people think is “COOL.” Because if that many people think it’s cool – then it’s clearly already seen its day and it’s on its way out the door. It’s no longer cool to do the cool thing if everybody else is doing it. That means you’re normal. OVER normal. So over it. I mean – I get drunk on a Wednesday MTWTFSS anyway – what’s TGE going to do for me? Except make me wait about 3 minutes longer to order my drink from the bar.

So for all the Thanksgiving Eve lovers – get over yourself. Get over this “party holiday” and come back to reality. Start partying on weeknights on the regular – it will definitely make you feel better about yourself. Stop pretending like you give a shit about any of the random re-connects from high school that you’re going to see/fuck. And really – since you’re obviously going to go out anyway despite what me or anybody else tells you – suck it up – get really drunk (try to remember your night) or hopefully forget if it was that bad – don’t cry – smile at all of your haters – and live on your TGE like any other fucking Wednesday night. Let others look at you for all the right reasons – like because they’re jealous of your adorable dress & are wondering how you’re still standing up straight and are acting so poised after your 4th or 9th cocktail. It’s because your a BETCH. Get it girl, get ittttttttt.

MDW

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Memorial Day Weekend is upon us.

BBQ’s, beach, sunshine

rain… work…  still beach though 🙂

The beginning of summer is my favorite time of the year, it makes me automatically happier. Vitamin D is in abundance and people are smiling a lot more.

I’ve never been a believer in the whole “summer lasts between Memorial Day & Labor Day” idea. I’m usually at the beach far before MDW and far later than LDW. I also don’t believe in wearing white between the two. I wear my whites all year round! I guess I’m excited to see all the basic betches begin to break out their white clothes after this weekend – it’s about time.

The future looks tan! Wear white all weekend people. Do it!

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❤ is eating a bagel with your bestie by the bay. LMAO

 

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when life gives you lemons, LOUBOUTIN. DUH.

After dealing with a quite eventful week – I’m using the word “eventful” because the adjectives I would really like to use would take up this entire post.

Lesson Learned: Start telling people exactly what you I want and what you I expect, instead of expecting people to know what I want, need and deserve. People are dumber than they’re given credit.

There is nothing on this world that I value more than honestly & loyalty. Biggest things. Ever. Anyone who is a very close friend of mine knows that I am very strong minded in this subject sense. AKA – DON’T FUCK WITH ME BRO! Honesty is the best policy for me – sounds cliche but it’s so TRUE. During times when people that shouldn’t be in your life at all but somehow slipped through the cracks and are there, act disloyal or dishonest or hysterically slutty, is when you begin to sit back.

You laugh, a lot. You sometimes cry, a little. You mostly die on the inside. You don’t eat, you try to vomit unsuccessfully, you eat Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked, or if you’re me, you eat So Delicious Mint Chip Coconut Milk Ice Cream. Yum, NOT!

You find your Soul. – AKA go to SoulCycle & sweat it out on a bike. That shit relieves every sense of tension known to man. You don’t get mad because you don’t deserve to be mad. Being mad creates wrinkles & frown lines which are nowhere near as chic as smile lines. You don’t get sad because although sadness is completely normal, you should be relieved. You should be happy. Because you just overturned your life and you’re airing out. You let go of the stinky shit. You hold on to what makes you happy. You let yourself do whatever you want. And get whatever you want.

Enter 2 GORGEOUS pairs of Christian Louboutin’s. Live was giving you lemons – you open up your Christmas presents. And you smile. And you keep smiling. And you laugh. And your fears leave you. And the pit in your stomach resolves itself. And you come to the realization that you’re 25 years old. And you’re doing it. And you’re making it. And that’s a lot more than most of the people you’re comparing yourself to have to say. And you shouldn’t compare. You should just live. And nobody cares. Until somebody does. That’s your real friend. Enjoy those people. They rule.

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The last time my relationship malfunctioned, I bought a Gucci bag. And the time before that, Chanel sunglasses. My wardrobe thanks the haters & heart breakers. 🙂

chanel vs hm

Not that I don’t like h&m. I do – I really do – but that’s the problem. I should not, figuratively speaking.

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and proceed along.

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and continue to proceed along. with Moet & Chandon.

xo