How To Break Your Own Heart

So I’ve done quite a bit of “how-to’s” on this blog, but this one is quite a bit – well… Different.

I received a message from one of my BFFs about a month ago telling me some big “news.” And NO, that it wasn’t her engagement, that in fact it was the total effing opposite. She was leaving. Picking up her fabulous life and turning it completely upside down. Ending the relationship, leaving her job and leaving her city. I was shocked, yet I knew she knew exactly what she was doing.  She’s one of the most intelligent and self-aware people I’ve met in this world. And so strong. Strength I’ve rarely seen before especially in my peers, especially in 20 & 30 something’s.

After thinking about this over and over again, I realized she was doing what many of us find so intimidating and nearly impossible to do. Being afraid of getting our heart broken and even breaking another person’s heart is both frightening and intimidating. Love is such a strong emotion that ending or breaking is not an easy part of it – no matter how well you plan for it. But here she is, a beautiful, awesome, powerful and intelligent girl who loves harder than most I know – doing it to herself.

Breaking her own heart. For the better of her relationship and their lives going forward. Doing it FOR herself. By her own will and merit.

Are you in a relationship or workplace or friendship or anything that you need to step away from?

Find something. Deep within yourself. Find the strength to pick up and release yourself. It doesn’t need to be dramatic. No need for the applause or the social media presence. It doesn’t mean you need to cut all ties or end something in a hurtful way. You can just move on by yourself. Find the way. (Find your true north! #Wanderlust).

Maybe it’s the complete opposite for you – maybe it’s getting back into something. For example: You love doing ActivityX but your current life doesn’t allow for time to do ActivityX. You’ve got to make the time for ActivityX. You be X. Nobody else will do X for you. Nobody else will do shit for you for that matter. It’s you and you. Control is what we’re after here. Set some goals. Create a timeline and move it. Control your own aspirations, your own goals and your own feelings. Take control of yourself and your future, even if you have to break your own heart while doing so.

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How To: Get What You Want – Part THREE

HOW TO: Get What You Want

Yes, there’s 3 parts. No, there shouldn’t be.

But I had to break this information up into 3 blog posts. Because I’m not about giving you all of the information easily. And for dramatic effect (see Part 2).

But this is how you’re going to make people GLAD to do what you want. They’re going to be begging you to do exactly what you want them to do.

money cannot buy

Start off with compliments! Praise the person and appreciate what they’re doing for you. “You’re very beautiful, I really like the way that you do your eye makeup.” “Next time you’re doing it though, can you make sure to clean up the powder that’s left behind all over the sink?” It’s much easier to hear unpleasant things after you hear something positive about yourself.

Indirectly criticize. Don’t say a word to the idiot that isn’t doing his job at work. Do it for him… step right in and let him look on as you complete the task. Once he catches on that you’re there, acting on something – you let him finish. He will feel it – he’ll know what he did was wrong. He’ll respect you for not talking to him like an inferior, but allowing him to not do what he should have been doing. Reward people for their idiocy. Let them get away with it – but also let them KNOW they were an idiot. Change your “BUT’s” to “AND’s.” Failure is washed away. Get rid of the but – it changes the tone.

Talk about yourself (easy), but talk about your mistakes FIRST. It’s easy to criticize somebody – but also, think about WTF they know or don’t know. If you’re an expert (or you consider yourself one), other people don’t know as much shit as you do. OBVIOUSLY. So take it easy – and instead of making someone feel dumb with “WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT, IT’S ALL WRONG!” have some compassion. “OMG, I DID SOMETHING SO SIMILAR WHEN I FIRST STARTED DOING THAT. ONCE I MESSED UP THIS ENTIRE THING… TRY THIS, IT’S HELPFUL!”

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. “Have you ever thought of…?” or “Do you think this would work…” Nobody likes to be barked at. Or be given orders. You definitely get what you want much easier if you give some options. You give opportunity to people to do things for themselves and it boosts self-esteem. It also removes the feeling of resentment.

If somebody sucks at something, let them do something that they’re actually good atDon’t highlight the shitty job a person is doing. Take a minute and think of something that they do really well – sometimes it is not AT ALL whatever you want them to do. However, something completely different – sometimes better! Have that person do that – it will be better for them and embarrass them way less. This is “feel good shit” people!

“Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.” Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.” Praise is what makes people better – positive reinforcement – not negative. Keep going!! Praise can truly change a person’s life. With a little bit of encouragement, a person can really go places. As for getting what you want, successful people make successful surroundings. You can really move mountains with a positive message in the life of a friend, colleague or subordinate. They’ll remember the feeling you left them with. Always. People are thirsty, quench their thirst.

Reputation – it’s all about a person’s reputation. Once you give somebody a really great reputation to live up to – they’re going to. You create a situation where you force a person to compare their own life back to themselves. Sometimes this is difficult to face, but ultimately, it’s rewarding. Great leading tactic, really. Let somebody live up to their previous self – it’s easy to give a bit of suggesting advice this way.

Encourage and make the shitty shit they did seem super easy to correct. It gives people the desire to improve. Please help them, do it for the greater good of the world.

Make the person happy to do exactly what you want them to do. Give them some reward or recognition. Don’t let them down but suggest cool things about it! Don’t give them the opportunity to not be excited about it. Your request should really make the other person have the idea that they will personally benefit. Consider what they will gain, and let them gain it.

“My popularity, my happiness and sense of worth depend to no small extent upon my skill in dealing with people.” – Dale Carnegie

love this photo
love this photo

Based on: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Why Men Cheat

I’ve literally been doing research on why men cheat from the moment I started dating my first boyfriend (so, Kindergarten).

Obviously, never wanting to be cheated on, but knowing that it does in fact happen – I made sure I was exceptionally cool. Really easy-going, and not annoying to boys (or anyone for that matter). Main goal is to basically not act like a girl at all. Be like “one of the guys” without actually being weird or gross. Not forcing the “center of attention” look on myself. Not letting the little things become a big thing.

I give all of my girl friends very similar advice – to remain calm, cool and let shit go! Except when I’ve found myself in positions when I can’t let shit go – this has blown up in my face. Discovering why men cheat has been rough, but it’s all a part of growing up. Females cheat too, but I don’t care about that so save your opinions for another betch.

I had the pleasure of speaking with a man who is a Grade A, top of the line, high quality and respectable dude – also, a CHEATER. No names needed and specific situations never needed, but they happened and he’s real. This is what we’ve come up with. Enjoy or don’t.

Some men are never truly happy in their lives.

To these guys, happiness is a temporary feeling. Fleeting. There’s always this search for more or what’s next. So they mask their unhappiness through a variety of methods – drinking, drugs, gambling, and yes, womanizing.

Men at times are genuinely unhappy in their relationships and with themselves, which leads them to cheat. Chasing that temporary high or that good feeling in the beginning of a hook-up. Men are babies. They’re insecure and act immature.

a betches motto <3
a betches motto ❤

Insecurity.

Men want to be able to know “they’ve still got it” or they can still “pull a hot chick.” Congrat-u-fucking-lations? Good for you, bro. I guess? But when will it ever end? When will you feel secure enough with yourself that you don’t need to cheat on the one that you’re with just to prove to your friends or to yourself that you’ve still got it? If you do in fact, still have it – fucking keep it! People will know you still have it because you’ve kept the person that you’re with. And you’re cool because you’re confident, not cocky. You know when to fire punches and you also know when to roll with the punches. And if you choose to  leave the person that you’re with, do it with some class and dignity and don’t look back.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/an-dHgZ4uY4nhu4J/the_40_year_old_virgin_2005_confrontation_at_the_store_part_2/ 

Sex is a major factor – obviously.

Men cheat because their current girlfriend is boring. Or he can’t get over me. Leading a double life gets difficult after awhile so pick a team, dude!

Men don’t want to face the reality of their sexual incompetence and dealing with a new girl allows them to escape from their real life for a little while? (Disclaimer: Maybe for some, not Exhibit A…)

Cheating can be done in two forms: physical & emotional.

Ask any sane or better, insane betch what is worse? – The guaranteed response: emotional cheating. Cheating usually becomes emotional as soon as it happens more than once – sometimes not, but the physical isn’t what gets people so worked up about it.

Like – I don’t really care if you’re sleeping with another person. What I do care about is protecting myself (from whatever you may get or have from this other person). This is the scary part about cheaters. Like if you’re going to cheat or lie about what you’re doing with others, go right ahead and be a piece of shit liar. BUT you better fucking think about the literal danger that you may be putting somebody else in. STD. Immune system killers. I think about this all the time (maybe I’m paranoid) but I think everyone else is just dumb.

He doesn’t LOVE her anymore.

Bullshit. If you feel that strongly about not loving someone anymore, you should feel strongly enough to fucking tell them. This all comes down to the insecurity. Not feeling comfortable enough with yourself that you can’t break up with somebody is awful. Being with a person isn’t the end all – marriage is not always the end of the road. Love isn’t the end.

My question is whether or not cheaters evolve? Or will a guy be a cheater forever and ever, for the rest of his life so help him, God.

How To: Get What You Want – PART Deux

Get people to Think EXACTLY How You WANT!

Avoid all arguments with people. Always. I’m confrontational – but ONLY when I need to be. Otherwise, I’d rather let you go on and on about whatever you want to and never say a thing about it. Until I need to tell you to shut up. Because I likely don’t really care. Arguments are rarely necessary. Fighting is absolutely never necessary. Over it already, bye.

colorful bullets?
colorful bullets?

Respect the people you’re trying to get what you want from. Respect their opinions and what their goals are. Telling them that “they’re wrong” will get them to dislike your opinions and eventually dislike you. Don’t put yourself in a predicament where you have to backpedal. Disrespect never got ‘nobody ‘nowhere!

Admit your faults and your flaws. If you were wrong, admit that shit! Acknowledge that shit. Get overrrrrrr it. Get through it quickly by letting the other person know you were wrong and you would like to make right on that. It will make the other person feel better about themselves. And it will make you feel better about yourself in the future.

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Be a friendly betch. “You catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar.” I for one, don’t know why anyone would willingly want to be catching flies…. EVERBUT – I guess if catching flies is your fucking thing – use the honey. And be friendly, silly! 🙂

Make your conversations VERY POSITIVE. Get people saying “yes!” Like, get them happy. Get them motivated and make them happy about what they’re about to do (for you!). C’mon people – positive psychology is ALWAYS better than negative – even if you never payed attention in Psych 101 with Dr. Whomever in college – you’ve got to know that that guy B.F. Skinner talked about how positive reinforcement through conditioning is what rules! If that’s the only thing I learned in Psych than at least I learned something. Also Pavlov’s dogs. 😉 (End rant).

PEOPLE LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES! (For example – MY ENTIRE FUCKING BLOG!) I love talking about myself. And relating things to myself. Because I rule this world blog. lol When people speak, they usually like what they have to say say – they like to think that ideas are theirs. Get people thinking what you think and let them talk about it. Get them on your page and lead them to believe they got there themselves. They’ll think your fabulous idea is actually their fabulous idea. And who cares whose idea it really is? If you’re gaining something in the long run, let them think they thought of it. Sheer brilliance. Goals accomplished.

See where this person is coming from as well. Don’t disown their ideas because you know they didn’t think of them. Be interested in their your idea! Really FEEEEEL them – you make these people also feel like what they’re doing is the RIGHT THING. Like they’re helping you. They’re helping the cause. They’re helping themselves.

Like any betch in her right mind would do – MAKE THAT SHIT DRAMATIC!

create dramatic effect
create dramatic effect

People respond to dramatics. It gives them something to talk about in their mostly boring lives. Throw some shit in their faces. Let this person know that you mean business. And show them you mean business…make it good. Like really, really good. Why else waste time on something if it’s not gonna be good?! Drama makes life enjoyable and keeps people guessing. Don’t make it boring and obvious drama

Lastly, make it count. Challenge bitches! Give a person a challenge to do exactly what you want. Most people will accept challenges. Most people not only accept challenges, but go at them so hard that they perform much better than you were anticipating. People can really out-do themselves. Again and again. Betches love challenges. Don’t you? So do guys. Making people believe in themselves is a fun thing to do and in the end, all are winners.

All of this shit sounds a bit mundane but it’s common sense. These things will literally get people eating out of the palm of your hand. Not that you want people eating out of your hands but I’m really about little sayings like that. You’re well on your way to getting what you want!

Based on: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Catcalling, Meow.

Catcalling. Don’t do this – and if you do, expect to receive VERY expressive, specific insults.

Fuck. You. Get away from me. I’m not interested in you. Shut your mouth immediately.

I once told an ex-boyfriend that I would pay for surgery to have his ribs removed so that he could suck his own dick because I’d never go anywhere near him again. (Unrelated, but I thought it would be a good point to add that in).

If you haven’t already, please meet reality TV personality & model Stassi Schroeder… the violent metaphors ❤

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Watch Vanderpump Rules Season 1 | Stassi’s Violent Metaphors.

The link is my absolute favorite compilation of “Stassi” moments.

…how many people do I know that have told me that I remind them of her? Resting bitch face is on point.

Being nicer is definitely in my near future. Great quote someone sent me recently –

“I try to be nice to everyone because what if they have a hot brother?”

But like…. Don’t whistle at me. Don’t beep your car horn at me while I’m running. Like what was your goal with that? Did you think your beep and yell out the window while at a traffic light would make me sprint on over to your car and flirt with you and get in your car and go home with you and we live happily ever after?! No?! Me NEITHER. That kills my vibe so don’t do it.

Catcalling is like so… 18th century. I almost want to take that statement back because I would 100% rather have a guy approach me face to face (a la 18th century) rather than message me on any form of social media. But an approach/inquiry/courtship is far different than a catcall.

I hate that it’s named after a cat. I don’t like cats. At all.

Losing Shit

For being a somewhat responsible person, I’m a CERTIFIED professional at losing everything I need. If I want to find something, it’s automatically missing. 5 minutes later, don’t need it anymore…. Suddenly find it. SOML.

I’ve honestly become a bit of a disorganized mess / hoarder lately. Saving everything, and it’s time to take a purge. I hoard papers, receipts, shopping bags, old mail, clothes, shoes, anything…. because, JUST IN CASE! I save ugly ass clothes because — Halloween costume! Or theme party!

It’s disgusting, so I’m going to make fun of myself on this blog so that I can start behaving like a normal human being again. I filled an entire garbage can (like big ones – the outside ones) with shit that I didn’t need anymore today. So, I’m feeling pretty good about that. ANDDDDDDD I’m having feelings about garbage, yes indeed I am. Ew.

I’m constantly on a “looking for something” spree. I’m talking about the “Where is my phone? / Where are my keys?” / “Where is my boyfriend?” <—— HAHAHA! kind of losing shit. Those things are a GIVEN. Obviously, everybody misplaces those things. I lose major shit – nonstop. Like my checkbook? Oops.  I lose money as I’m about to pay for something. Credit cards – well those get left at the bar every time I open up a tab.

Random thought….! Reason # 6538 (this number means nothing to me) why I’d prefer to be a man – never carrying a purse / never losing shit in the bottom of a purse / never losing shit ever because you don’t carry every stupid thing you think you need but don’t inside of said purse.

I lose clothes. Like I don’t remember where I leave things or who I lend things to. (So if you’re reading this and you have my shit, give it back. Thanks!) I usually find things – but far after the point that I needed them. Bummer.

I’m a huge fan of every piece of advice my Dad gives me – the man should be a life coach because he’s great at memorizing ridiculous quotes from famous people, yet never giving them credit. He’ll never reveal his source and it’s 100% because he has no idea who the hell said it. BUT WHO CARES. Because it’s relevant in this moment and he’s offering his kind-hearted opinion to his darling daughter.

“When things aren’t adding up, start subtracting.”

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Start taking Dad’s advice – a man of many words – far too many words, I’ll start removing things from my life that are no longer serving me. AKA I’ll clean my room this week. AGAIN. 

How to stop losing shit: HAVE LESS SHIT! 

….AND OBVIOUSLY THIS QUOTE IS BY ANONYMOUS – more of a reason for Dad to not know where it came from.

Silly Bitches, Dumb Is Never Cute!

So, you think it’s really cute to act really dumb? You like getting the attention because people think you’re an actual idiot? You think guys dig that? Your friends think it’s funny that your’e the dumb one of the group?!

I THINK YOU’RE SO BEYOND WRONG.

This is me taking a stand against the women who play the “dumb card.”

Like, OMGz, you’re the dumbest person like…ever? Wanna see how many times I can say “like?” Why do you think it’s funny to act dumb? And if you actually ARE dumb… you should not be putting yourself on blast and showing off how insanely stupid you are. Keep your mouth shut. Ignorance is bliss? UM, no. Ignorance is ignorance and it’s no excuse. If you want to be blissful, you don’t have to be ignorant. If this isn’t obvious to you, then you’re obviously exactly who I’m writing this about.

Getting the tag of “that dumb bitch over there” is not a cute look for you. No matter how pretty you are, you’ll still be known as an idiot. Which gives you no street cred – and you basically will never move forward in life.

To stop this cycle – stop being dumb! Stop talking just to say things and to be noticed. Don’t ask questions that you can easily look up the answer to by yourself – Google was invented for dumb people and is over-used by smart people. Bravo.. OBVIOUSLY. Start learning about something that you’re interested in and then only talk about that until you learn about something else to expand the breadth of your knowledge. Smart is going to look way better on you. I’m thinking this may really work out for you – until that happens, please shhhhhhhhhhh!

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Bad Form: On Conversation

“Weather and remember when’s… are the worst form of conversation.” – not sure where I heard this, it’s a combination of Tony Soprano & my Dad but it’s a phrase that’s stuck with me.

5. Traffic

 

UGH, can you believe that traffic?! I can’t believe that traffic. Traffic, traffic, traffic. GUYS! – we LIVE in NEW YORK. Worse, on Long Island – where the population density is so massive in regard to available space for all the people and cars. Hence, the traffic. DUH – if you don’t like it – move. Stop complaining about it because I don’t want to hear your voice for another minute.  If it were a U.S. state, Long Island would rank 13th in population(after Virginia) and first in population density. So there’s that. Daily commuting is not fun. Subways are not fun. LIRR is not fun. Flying, also not fun. It’s part of life and everyone does it. Just because its common, does not mean that it’s a good topic of conversation. Shhhhhh.

 

4. Work Life

 

If you’re not interested in your job, I’m definitely not interested in your job. If it takes you more than 30 seconds to get me interested in the topic at hand, please do not proceed. I could care less that your co-worker is giving you anxiety because you think he’s trying to take over your job. I get that you have to spend 40 or more hours a week at this job, so you should definitely have some form of interest in it – which is great. But that does not mean that I do. Unless you work in fashion, food, fitness or being fabulous, please do not proceed. Maybe harsh, I do like some of your jobs, friends! I love you all, but no. Unless I ask about your job, then I’m actually interested and you better tell me stuff. I don’t want to hear about how crappy your boss is UNLESS the story is so amazingly funny and worth it.

 

3. Illness

 

Ooooof, please don’t. Nobody wants to hear about illness and poor health conditions. Definitely a downer. Please don’t tell me your grandparent was just put into a nursing home because she’s having liver failure. Please also do not give me any information about the fungus growing on your big toe. Or the wort on your left hand. (Aren’t they contagious?! Only wrote about this because I had one recently). LOL my friends will probably hate me for writing this because I definitely talked to ALL OF THEM about this because it freaked me out and I like to inquire about what people think about my random extremities and illnesses. OK SO NOW THAT THAT’S OVER!!!  See what I mean, perfect example. Shut up, Ashley. It’s just a sad and negative emotional state that you’d generally like to avoid in typical conversation with basically anybody.

 

2. Remember that time when….?

 

“Remember when” is an excuse to reminisce into the past. There’s no forward motion, no forward thinking or movement. It’s doing absolutely nothing for your brain in regard to growth. Cool – jogging your memory is fun. And you’re both going to have different accounts of whatever it is you’re remembering, but it’s really not doing anything for any party involved. Maybe I don’t want to talk about that past event. It’s a part of the past for a reason, obviously. Why don’t you talk about a future event or a current event in your life? There’s my Tony.

1. Weather

 

The topic of weather is awful. The main issue with conversations about weather is that there’s nothing to be done about it! You can’t change it. Weather IS weather, you hear about it, you check weather.com or your iPhone weather app, you dress accordingly, and move on with your life!!!!  People who comment about it all day make me want to barf all over them. This conversation never gets betterwhat are you going to debate about it? NO – because it’s not that serious. And if you’re wrong, you’re just like whatever weather man that was wrong. NEWS FLASH: It’s going to change. A convo regarding weather will bring absolutely nothing positive into your brain because it’s one of two things. Weather is a past experience you already have gone through or it’s a future experience you are most likely already aware of because you check the weather every day. The conversations are just a lot of agreement.  “It’s been good/bad/average the past days, right?”  “Right.”  OR “Can’t wait for winter to be over. It’s been a rough one, huh?!” “Yeah it has been.” There’s never been a disagreement about weather. And if you really disagree about weather, you’re both morons and one of you is just a worse off moron for having to listen to the other person.

 

You’re welcome.

Living Luminizer

There’s much to say about organic beauty products – like, they’re actually good for your skin! There’s also much to say about J.Crew…. And my obsession with it! J.Crew is featuring the “Signature J.Crew Model Glow” right now & basically, always.

These girls look effortlessly flawless – such clean, crisp and perfect faces. Just the right amount of dewiness to create a fresh look that will never go out of style. J.Crew reveals that their secret weapon to making these girls look this way — organic beauty line RMS Beautymore specifically – the “Living Luminizer.”

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“the models look like they are lit from within.”

Rushed to J.Crew.com to find out that they were sold out of this glorious goop. Luckily the RMS Beauty website was in stock, shipped immediately and I had my luminizer within 2 days! Now that is quality service.

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Application – you’re going to want to only use a little bit! Apply with your fingers in a dabbing motion. It will feel a little thick or “dewy” at first. If you swipe it on, it will remove your foundation or other make-up. No swiping!

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photo 1 (1)You’re going to want to dab the luminizer over the cheekbones, down the bridge of your nose, inner corners of your eyes, direct center of your eyelids and right above the “cupid’s bow” in the center of your lips.

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Brighter! I love showing DIY beauty tips/tricks because it just feels so much more OK to see it done on a “normal” DEFINITELY NOT NORMAL person than to see it done on a more than gorge J.Crew model. I look exactly like the J.Crew models in the look book below, right?! This wears really well throughout the day as well and I highly recommend it!

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from J.Crew Look Book

Packing for Idiots (Me)

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Mind you, this post is coming from the worst packer in the history of packing, so you’re welcome for absolutely nothing.

Precap: Covering what to bring on a Weekend Vacation/Quick Getaway to see your Besties when you’re going from cold climate to a warmer climate. AKA anywhere from the Northeast during Snowpocalypse Winter 2014 to anywhere South of the Border. The border is like Washington D.C. for me apparently?

Denim. Dark denim or black denim or black skinny pants. A MUST – can be worn both daytime & nighttime and literally you can never go wrong with black pants. Also a dress & tights with boots – done.  Jacket – necessary. Layers, duh.

Sneakers – be honest with yourself here because this is a make it or break it item. Sneakers & work out clothes are either something that will waste space in your luggage or you’re really going to miss if you don’t bring. Probably whichever decision you go with, you’re going to regret and wish you had chosen the opposite. Bring sneakers – you will not be able to find a moment to go for a run or work out. Don’t bring them? Plan on having the most active weekend of your life where you either have to squeeze in your friend’s sneakers (she wears a size smaller than you) or buy new.

If all else fails, JUST BRING IT. If you urgently need to, you can always re-buy whatever you forgot. Head to Target and buy a pair of $17.99 sneakers? I mean, good luck with those– but it’s do-able.

My outlook on packing is that I would rather try to pack everything in a carry-on than check luggage, unless it’s absolutely necessary. I do not enjoy baggage claim after sitting on a flight, not one bit. I also like to have major ideas and options available. Do you see the problem here? The collision of two really poor choices? Yeah…. I know. Options are necessary. Because if the vibe changes, I want to be able to keep up. Always pack dressier than you predict. In my opinion, it’s much easier to dress down an outfit than to dress up a pair of boyfriend jeans. I’m lying again. Both are easy to do if you have the right pieces – but remember, you’re on a quick weekend trip with limited options, not in your bedroom with extensive closet options.

Bring interchangeable items so that you can go either way with wardrobe/style/weather/comfort/setting. A daytime flannel doubles as a super casual shirt/jacket over your LBD – turning it very casual for a bar at night versus a fancier dinner or club at night with a chic blazer. Make sure you bring a structured jacket or blazer for all purpose wear. (Blazer/jacket can double as your coat on the plane, your going out at night and your with jeans for lunch in the afternoon).

Scarves are my JAM! Completely changes the way that black tshirt looked that you wore on your flight here and you can wear it again tomorrow during the day with an added floral scarf. Neutral t-shirts/tank tops are as well. Here is the only time where being “basic” is OK – this is the only place though, really. Neutral t-shirts like heather gray, black, white, beige/tan, charcoal – these go with anything and everything. Sorry basics – not sorry. XO Neutral.

Never forget obvious necessities – medications, iPhone chargers, iPad w/ charger, toiletries, UNDERWEAR, socks, cashmere scarf that doubles as a blanket on your flight (much more necessary than originally thought), makeup, brush, blowdrier if needed. To make sure I don’t forget things – I go through my morning routine in my head and write it down. Like every step from the moment I open my eyes until the moment I walk out the door – shower, after shower, getting dressed, brushing teeth,  this is getting so boring I don’t want to write about it anymore.

By the way, I’m not packing the sneakers.