The Cool Girl

You’re so easy going. You’re so fucking cool. You let things go because you’re not phased by the small shit. You have your shit together. You have a job that you “like” for the most part, and at least you’re making money. You surround yourself with people you love. You support yourself. You support and love the people around you. You get it. You’re inspirational. You’re willing to learn and grow. You’re single. You’re ready to be in an amazing relationship with a really awesome person except you’re unsure of yourself. You have nothing holding you back. Except yourself. Because you in fact, are: the cool girl.

The cool girl does really well in the beginning of a relationship. She does superb. She’s accepted so easily. She’s easily obsessed over because she established herself as the most amazing thing on this earth. She makes others feel at ease in her presence. She can hang in any situation with mostly any group of people. She treats others well, she can laugh at herself and she loves to laugh. She’s outgoing but not outlandish or outspoken. She listens when others speak. She says what she has to say. Says what she means but doesn’t say it mean. She’s rarely a bitch. She’s rarely “pissed off.” She’s genuine, you’d never really call her super nice, but she’s not mean at all. She’s cool.

This girl, my friends gets taken advantage of by men the most.

Girls who don’t give a fuck about men, get chased. Girls who care too much about men, get left behind. Girls who are cool, get mind fucked. On the regular. And suffer complete and utter relationship travesty.

The cool girl is at peace with the bro’s. She’s one with them. She gets it when the guys are having guy time. She lets them hang. She does her own thing. She hangs. She handles situations well. She’s not afraid to challenge a man. Or anyone. She does not fear telling other people how it is. She does not back down. She lets her guard down often enough. She eventually allows people into her life. She welcomes change. She loves her surroundings, and when she doesn’t – she changes. She’s the type of girl who hates the faux pax of doing girl things, but loves to do them anyway.

Cool girl gets played. She needs to stop. Stop trying to be the cool girl. It comes back and bites her. Cool girl gets judged, HARD. As soon as the cool girl reacts to something that her S.O. does in a negative way, she suddenly becomes the psycho girl. I’m talking a real reaction. It could be negative, could be positive, could be a little flustered, could be a normal as anything reaction. But since cool girl doesn’t make a big deal out of things, once she does – she’s immediately deemed psycho girl. Or she’s judged – like OMG why is she getting so worked up over this, it’s sooooo not a big deal.

Um, actually yes it is a big deal! “Cool guy” just isn’t used to cool girl reacting to things because she’s so fucking cool that she doesn’t need to react. So then, once she does react, “cool guy” feels entitled to judge cool girl on her less-than-regular reaction. And cool girl melts, because people she cares about are making her feel like she’s not the cool girl. When in reality she is still Miss Cool Girl. She needs to still be the cool girl, keep the cool girl confidence and let it go. When people can’t handle the cool girl, she must let them go. Only some people can handle her. Until then, cool girl should pour herself a glass of champagne and continue being cool, just not as cool to the uncool guy.

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Why Men Cheat

I’ve literally been doing research on why men cheat from the moment I started dating my first boyfriend (so, Kindergarten).

Obviously, never wanting to be cheated on, but knowing that it does in fact happen – I made sure I was exceptionally cool. Really easy-going, and not annoying to boys (or anyone for that matter). Main goal is to basically not act like a girl at all. Be like “one of the guys” without actually being weird or gross. Not forcing the “center of attention” look on myself. Not letting the little things become a big thing.

I give all of my girl friends very similar advice – to remain calm, cool and let shit go! Except when I’ve found myself in positions when I can’t let shit go – this has blown up in my face. Discovering why men cheat has been rough, but it’s all a part of growing up. Females cheat too, but I don’t care about that so save your opinions for another betch.

I had the pleasure of speaking with a man who is a Grade A, top of the line, high quality and respectable dude – also, a CHEATER. No names needed and specific situations never needed, but they happened and he’s real. This is what we’ve come up with. Enjoy or don’t.

Some men are never truly happy in their lives.

To these guys, happiness is a temporary feeling. Fleeting. There’s always this search for more or what’s next. So they mask their unhappiness through a variety of methods – drinking, drugs, gambling, and yes, womanizing.

Men at times are genuinely unhappy in their relationships and with themselves, which leads them to cheat. Chasing that temporary high or that good feeling in the beginning of a hook-up. Men are babies. They’re insecure and act immature.

a betches motto <3
a betches motto ❤

Insecurity.

Men want to be able to know “they’ve still got it” or they can still “pull a hot chick.” Congrat-u-fucking-lations? Good for you, bro. I guess? But when will it ever end? When will you feel secure enough with yourself that you don’t need to cheat on the one that you’re with just to prove to your friends or to yourself that you’ve still got it? If you do in fact, still have it – fucking keep it! People will know you still have it because you’ve kept the person that you’re with. And you’re cool because you’re confident, not cocky. You know when to fire punches and you also know when to roll with the punches. And if you choose to  leave the person that you’re with, do it with some class and dignity and don’t look back.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/an-dHgZ4uY4nhu4J/the_40_year_old_virgin_2005_confrontation_at_the_store_part_2/ 

Sex is a major factor – obviously.

Men cheat because their current girlfriend is boring. Or he can’t get over me. Leading a double life gets difficult after awhile so pick a team, dude!

Men don’t want to face the reality of their sexual incompetence and dealing with a new girl allows them to escape from their real life for a little while? (Disclaimer: Maybe for some, not Exhibit A…)

Cheating can be done in two forms: physical & emotional.

Ask any sane or better, insane betch what is worse? – The guaranteed response: emotional cheating. Cheating usually becomes emotional as soon as it happens more than once – sometimes not, but the physical isn’t what gets people so worked up about it.

Like – I don’t really care if you’re sleeping with another person. What I do care about is protecting myself (from whatever you may get or have from this other person). This is the scary part about cheaters. Like if you’re going to cheat or lie about what you’re doing with others, go right ahead and be a piece of shit liar. BUT you better fucking think about the literal danger that you may be putting somebody else in. STD. Immune system killers. I think about this all the time (maybe I’m paranoid) but I think everyone else is just dumb.

He doesn’t LOVE her anymore.

Bullshit. If you feel that strongly about not loving someone anymore, you should feel strongly enough to fucking tell them. This all comes down to the insecurity. Not feeling comfortable enough with yourself that you can’t break up with somebody is awful. Being with a person isn’t the end all – marriage is not always the end of the road. Love isn’t the end.

My question is whether or not cheaters evolve? Or will a guy be a cheater forever and ever, for the rest of his life so help him, God.