As of Late

The recent months have been among the best and most healthy times in my emotional life. (UGH, this blog is going to be annoying – I can tell already). Getting to know myself – really, really well. By myself. Loving myself. Learning about myself. Narcissistic, much? 

Being single is grounds for gaining a significant amount of knowledge – about none other than, yourself.

Change is one of the scariest and challenging times in this beautiful life. Going for new things. I’m about that life. Change is a beautiful thing.

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This week I embarked upon a brand new journey. I started working in NYC. I left my job of eleven (yes, that’s right 11! years). I honestly have not really left – I can’t leave something that’s THAT good. I am however, changing careers. I want to do something different, explore new and exciting territory. I don’t like weddings and that’s what my career was specialized in. Why work in an industry that you don’t love? If you don’t even love love?! Definite time for a change. A change in love. A love for myself – which is developing stronger and stronger as I type (lolz).

Considering myself an extremely loyal person – I will never let anybody tell me differently. This quote kind of struck me funny – I really am starting to see my “disloyal” changes as self-loving. I’m kind of really into the things that I’m loving right now.

I’m no longer into being unloved, being surrounded by people who don’t need me, or by people who don’t care about me to the fullest. Venturing out into the deep blue sea because I would really rather do that. I’m a firm believer of throwing myself into situations that are not comfortable. Hell – I do that every day of my life. I’m trying to teach myself that it’s better to feel uncomfortable for 8 seconds than to feel uncomfortable for years on end. Small bits of uncomfortable situations are worth it. They’re great for human growth. Starting to leave what has left me. Ready for what the unknown has to offer.

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 I LOVE this image.

Singles Discrimination

It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there yo. I don’t even know what that means but what I do know is that I’m annoyed. Because I’m discriminated against. It’s because I’M SINGLE.

I’m saying that I’m discriminated against….. because I’m single! Yes I said it twice because I don’t fucking understand this and I’m trying to figure it out. How messed up is that? Are you discriminating against me because you’re jealous of me? Ummmm…I guess I know. But like, really? It’s happened to me multiple times lately and I’m over it.

I can’t take the fact that I’m not taken seriously because I don’t have a significant other. Are you kidding me? Sorry I don’t need a man to make me whole. Maybe I do, but I just don’t have one at the current moment. So, sorry not sorry? It annoys me when I don’t get invited to do things because they’re known as “couples” things and the groups felt bad inviting me because I would feel out of place? Since when do you think I would feel out of place around anybody? #awkward

Why are we judged based on who we’re with? Like you’re not going to invite me to your wedding with a date because I don’t have a serious enough boyfriend for you? OK COOL, THANKS! So besides the true fact that I don’t have a serious boyfriend – you’re going to rub it into my face and make me show up somewhere (to your wedding) with not only not having a boyfriend and being surrounded with people who do have significant others and your new husband or wife, but that I don’t even have a shitty date by my side. That’s a real feel good moment for the singles. Ugh – annoying.

It’s also assumed that because I don’t have a serious enough boyfriend that I’m always down to party or that I’m constantly searching for a new boyfriend. So I do like to party but I don’t always like to party. I don’t search for boyfriends, but I’m always game for meeting new & interesting people. So let me ask you a question: CAN I LIVE?!

Why is it that I’m shunned from certain groups of people because they do things as “couples?” F that. When I do find my new boyfriend  (remain single for the rest of my life) I’ll call all of you guys up and invite you to do really amazing couples things with me. NOT.

I’m bitter, huh?

Ok, back to loving me. xo

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Street Art in Paris <3

Never Ending Quotes

Being connected 24/7 leaves us with constant contact. Photos, quotes, articles, blog posts, videos, etc. Quotes on Instagram are the most motivating, yet irritating thing to happen to me within the past 3 years. (dramatic statement).

Sometimes amazingly inspiring, other times, so tame, boring and downright annoying (especially when I saw a celebrity post the same exact quote about 17 minutes before you did). I bet you’re wondering..whats the most annoying quote a beautiful, single girl has ever heard? (No? Not even close to what you were wondering?! I don’t care, I’m still gonna tell ya!).

“Love yourself before anyone else can.”– Marilyn Monroe, Maya Angelou, Betsy Ross, Helen Keller…

Pretty much, insert any believable author that may or may not have actually said this ridiculous fucking quote.

So, I’m single. So what?
Does it bother me? Yes. When I’m bored. When am I bored? All of the fucking time…

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What’s worse than having ADD? Funny you should ask… because the only thing worse than having undiagnosed ADD, (which as a female, we clearly all have some form of), is having your shit somewhat together and then BAM! Having no one else to share it with. Nobody to help organize your chaos with or fix your ridiculous “problems,” or help you do random shit you can’t do don’t feel like doing. OH, and spend every waking moment together! That is exactly what a male companion has and probably will be for the remainder, so as long as we both shall live? Right? Right? Please help here, not really aware…just going with observations.

So-you want to set me up with your amazing son/nephew/grandson/co-worker/metrosexual best friend’s friend. I get it. I’m fabulous-everything about me is fabulous but do you know why? Because I love me. A lot. So why the need to write a quote? Or Instagram/Facebook tag me in something some old bitch said about loving yourself?  Do we need people to tell us to brush our teeth or to drive on the right side of the road? NO-ITS FUCKING COMMON SENSE.

Why don’t you love yourself? Why don’t you love your life? Funny thing is-you’re the one that is in control of your happiness..as well as your misery.  Seems ta meeee that you’re really just controlling your own misery, you placid bitch. GET HAPPY. NOW.

Do you know how simple it is? It’s called a fucking smile.  Have you ever seen what you look like frowning? Its ugly- like Kim K crying ugly (okay not that ugly-but still).

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So..are people telling you to “love yourself?” Maybe if you smiled or showered or dyed your hair or did anything that showed you cared one fucking second about yourself, this quote wouldn’t bother you.

Honestly…like. I dont want to share me with anyone. I’ve been in situations where I was sharing myself – my loves. my interests. my damn family. And what did I get in return? Well aside from some heights in anger and blood pressure-I got a lot of bullshit in return.

So if you’re wondering if I love myself -yes of course I do. And I’m not letting anyone else love me for a long time. So like… give your brother’s number to someone else. I’d rather pay for my own buzz with people I like.