Confidence Boost

For when you’re feeling like you need a little boost… this is my list of shit to make you feel better about yourself. Explode your confidence this way. Every thing on my list works – proven through myself – tried & true.

1. Smile.

Smiling boosts confidence like nobody’s business! Smile the shit out of yourself. If you’re uncomfortable, do this as much as possible. Nobody wants to see you with a frown on your face. Definitely not flattering. Definitely does not show confidence, it shows sadness or uneasiness or boredom. Put your smile on (try not to fake it) and own a situation.

2. Head high, shoulders back, look people in the eye.

Giving direct eye contact gives you much stronger control. People will allow you to guide conversations and you will win. Avoid a power struggle because that makes people uncomfortable, also avoid staring at people because “deer in headlights” is a thing. Keep it non-verbal even, LISTENING is major.

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3. Stop apologizing

Somebody bumps into you, and you immediately say, “Sorry!” Ummm, what?! Why are YOU apologizing for a person who was not paying attention and bumped into you while you were at standstill. THEYYYY should be apologizing to you. This slight and extremely common “Sorry,” should stop.

4. Relax

Keep things light. Be very quick to laugh at yourself if you do something silly. Try not to laugh at somebody else’s expense. When you can really laugh at what you do, that shows confidence. I’m talking spilling food on your shirt and letting it happen – maybe put some food on the other side to make the stains match. 😉 Whateverrrrr.

5. Manners! Manners! Manners!

Saying “Please” and “Thank You!” are amongst the greatest words to keep in your vocabulary. People respect please’s and thank you’s more than you’ll ever know and it’s actually a mark of self-respect. I think it makes us feel better about ourselves to be gracious and feel cool. Treat others how you would like to be treated.

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6. Dress in a way that indicates your self worth. 

Looking well-dressed is MAJOR to me. Being well-dressed has nothing to do with $ or style. It has to do with what looks well on your body type and how you present yourself while wearing what you’re currently wearing. When you dress like a slut, you are a slut (proven). When you dress like a boss, you are a boss (proven). Let people see your confidence through your appearance as well as your body language and sense of self.

7. Expect others to believe in you!

OBVIOUSLY you’re amazing. You want everybody to know, see and truly appreciate your good qualities. When you expect people to know, the confidence just follows. Don’t fear others not knowing, don’t fear anybody’s opinion. When you present yourself or an idea/dream with excitement and you want others to believe in you – the confidence rolls right off your tongue.

Keeping confidence levels high is eminent to your success – so even if you have to fake it, use these tips until they become natural.

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As of Late

The recent months have been among the best and most healthy times in my emotional life. (UGH, this blog is going to be annoying – I can tell already). Getting to know myself – really, really well. By myself. Loving myself. Learning about myself. Narcissistic, much? 

Being single is grounds for gaining a significant amount of knowledge – about none other than, yourself.

Change is one of the scariest and challenging times in this beautiful life. Going for new things. I’m about that life. Change is a beautiful thing.

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This week I embarked upon a brand new journey. I started working in NYC. I left my job of eleven (yes, that’s right 11! years). I honestly have not really left – I can’t leave something that’s THAT good. I am however, changing careers. I want to do something different, explore new and exciting territory. I don’t like weddings and that’s what my career was specialized in. Why work in an industry that you don’t love? If you don’t even love love?! Definite time for a change. A change in love. A love for myself – which is developing stronger and stronger as I type (lolz).

Considering myself an extremely loyal person – I will never let anybody tell me differently. This quote kind of struck me funny – I really am starting to see my “disloyal” changes as self-loving. I’m kind of really into the things that I’m loving right now.

I’m no longer into being unloved, being surrounded by people who don’t need me, or by people who don’t care about me to the fullest. Venturing out into the deep blue sea because I would really rather do that. I’m a firm believer of throwing myself into situations that are not comfortable. Hell – I do that every day of my life. I’m trying to teach myself that it’s better to feel uncomfortable for 8 seconds than to feel uncomfortable for years on end. Small bits of uncomfortable situations are worth it. They’re great for human growth. Starting to leave what has left me. Ready for what the unknown has to offer.

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 I LOVE this image.

How To: Get What You Want – PART Deux

Get people to Think EXACTLY How You WANT!

Avoid all arguments with people. Always. I’m confrontational – but ONLY when I need to be. Otherwise, I’d rather let you go on and on about whatever you want to and never say a thing about it. Until I need to tell you to shut up. Because I likely don’t really care. Arguments are rarely necessary. Fighting is absolutely never necessary. Over it already, bye.

colorful bullets?
colorful bullets?

Respect the people you’re trying to get what you want from. Respect their opinions and what their goals are. Telling them that “they’re wrong” will get them to dislike your opinions and eventually dislike you. Don’t put yourself in a predicament where you have to backpedal. Disrespect never got ‘nobody ‘nowhere!

Admit your faults and your flaws. If you were wrong, admit that shit! Acknowledge that shit. Get overrrrrrr it. Get through it quickly by letting the other person know you were wrong and you would like to make right on that. It will make the other person feel better about themselves. And it will make you feel better about yourself in the future.

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Be a friendly betch. “You catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar.” I for one, don’t know why anyone would willingly want to be catching flies…. EVERBUT – I guess if catching flies is your fucking thing – use the honey. And be friendly, silly! 🙂

Make your conversations VERY POSITIVE. Get people saying “yes!” Like, get them happy. Get them motivated and make them happy about what they’re about to do (for you!). C’mon people – positive psychology is ALWAYS better than negative – even if you never payed attention in Psych 101 with Dr. Whomever in college – you’ve got to know that that guy B.F. Skinner talked about how positive reinforcement through conditioning is what rules! If that’s the only thing I learned in Psych than at least I learned something. Also Pavlov’s dogs. 😉 (End rant).

PEOPLE LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES! (For example – MY ENTIRE FUCKING BLOG!) I love talking about myself. And relating things to myself. Because I rule this world blog. lol When people speak, they usually like what they have to say say – they like to think that ideas are theirs. Get people thinking what you think and let them talk about it. Get them on your page and lead them to believe they got there themselves. They’ll think your fabulous idea is actually their fabulous idea. And who cares whose idea it really is? If you’re gaining something in the long run, let them think they thought of it. Sheer brilliance. Goals accomplished.

See where this person is coming from as well. Don’t disown their ideas because you know they didn’t think of them. Be interested in their your idea! Really FEEEEEL them – you make these people also feel like what they’re doing is the RIGHT THING. Like they’re helping you. They’re helping the cause. They’re helping themselves.

Like any betch in her right mind would do – MAKE THAT SHIT DRAMATIC!

create dramatic effect
create dramatic effect

People respond to dramatics. It gives them something to talk about in their mostly boring lives. Throw some shit in their faces. Let this person know that you mean business. And show them you mean business…make it good. Like really, really good. Why else waste time on something if it’s not gonna be good?! Drama makes life enjoyable and keeps people guessing. Don’t make it boring and obvious drama

Lastly, make it count. Challenge bitches! Give a person a challenge to do exactly what you want. Most people will accept challenges. Most people not only accept challenges, but go at them so hard that they perform much better than you were anticipating. People can really out-do themselves. Again and again. Betches love challenges. Don’t you? So do guys. Making people believe in themselves is a fun thing to do and in the end, all are winners.

All of this shit sounds a bit mundane but it’s common sense. These things will literally get people eating out of the palm of your hand. Not that you want people eating out of your hands but I’m really about little sayings like that. You’re well on your way to getting what you want!

Based on: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

CVS, Rite Aid, Walgreens, Duane Reade…

“Yeah, I hang out with him sometimes because it’s really convenient.” 

 

Oh really. WTF am I – CVS?

I keep telling myself to “Stop using your life/body as a convenience store.” You don’t need it as badly as you think. Do I really need to remain constant in anything in my life because it’s convenient? No. Not at all. Convenience isn’t even worth anything to me. Change is the only constant in our lives. Fuck that CVS style convenience store lifestyle.

Actually – theoretically speaking, go to that CVS on the corner, buy yourself some pick-me-ups…and change!! Small changes everyday make for a greater change over time. So many options, so little time. Make a move, get things done. Do what makes you happy – not what’s easiest.

Working away from convenience store life and into extreme, meticulous thought process life is difficult. Like a large department store? Specific boutique? Mall of America? Black Friday midnight madness? Manhattan during the week before Christmas? Bingo. Complexities are scarier for sure, but I think they’re more worth it in the long run. (Also unsure if this shopping comparison made sense to anybody besides myself). At least I’m being inconvenient! LOLZ.

Begin an inconvenience store – start working extremely hard at things that need extreme work in your life. You know what they are – those things that you’ve been avoiding doing. Your New Year’s Resolutions 2014! (2013, 2012…) That you forgot about because that holiday was like so long ago and it’s already been Valentine’s Day & St. Patrick’s Day and you’re way over it by now. Also you’re probably hungover. Deep within, the things that need improvement and that you recognize, are the most meaningful in your life. Just because something is convenient, does not make it right. Or easy. Because convenience is sometimes the most inconvenient thing present in your life.

Say goodbye and be free of the convenience store – ie. ex-boyfriend you were still hooking up with occasionally or at your own convenience. Cool – that’s nice, until it’s not. Until you’re over it. Until you’ve been burned so many times that you’re unaffected by the burn. That’s when you start burning him. It’s not always a guy – it could be a relative, a friend, a co-worker, anybody you know, your worth much more than a goddamn drugstore or 7-11. Give yourself a little bit of motivation and peace the fuck out. Welcome in a lifetime of happiness for you. Work hard at it because convenience is over rated and it usually comes at a much higher price.

I mean, it’s only good when it’s like chocolate being the end cap at the tampon aisle.

Perfect Product Placement Bro
Perfect Product Placement Bro

Never Ending Quotes

Being connected 24/7 leaves us with constant contact. Photos, quotes, articles, blog posts, videos, etc. Quotes on Instagram are the most motivating, yet irritating thing to happen to me within the past 3 years. (dramatic statement).

Sometimes amazingly inspiring, other times, so tame, boring and downright annoying (especially when I saw a celebrity post the same exact quote about 17 minutes before you did). I bet you’re wondering..whats the most annoying quote a beautiful, single girl has ever heard? (No? Not even close to what you were wondering?! I don’t care, I’m still gonna tell ya!).

“Love yourself before anyone else can.”– Marilyn Monroe, Maya Angelou, Betsy Ross, Helen Keller…

Pretty much, insert any believable author that may or may not have actually said this ridiculous fucking quote.

So, I’m single. So what?
Does it bother me? Yes. When I’m bored. When am I bored? All of the fucking time…

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What’s worse than having ADD? Funny you should ask… because the only thing worse than having undiagnosed ADD, (which as a female, we clearly all have some form of), is having your shit somewhat together and then BAM! Having no one else to share it with. Nobody to help organize your chaos with or fix your ridiculous “problems,” or help you do random shit you can’t do don’t feel like doing. OH, and spend every waking moment together! That is exactly what a male companion has and probably will be for the remainder, so as long as we both shall live? Right? Right? Please help here, not really aware…just going with observations.

So-you want to set me up with your amazing son/nephew/grandson/co-worker/metrosexual best friend’s friend. I get it. I’m fabulous-everything about me is fabulous but do you know why? Because I love me. A lot. So why the need to write a quote? Or Instagram/Facebook tag me in something some old bitch said about loving yourself?  Do we need people to tell us to brush our teeth or to drive on the right side of the road? NO-ITS FUCKING COMMON SENSE.

Why don’t you love yourself? Why don’t you love your life? Funny thing is-you’re the one that is in control of your happiness..as well as your misery.  Seems ta meeee that you’re really just controlling your own misery, you placid bitch. GET HAPPY. NOW.

Do you know how simple it is? It’s called a fucking smile.  Have you ever seen what you look like frowning? Its ugly- like Kim K crying ugly (okay not that ugly-but still).

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So..are people telling you to “love yourself?” Maybe if you smiled or showered or dyed your hair or did anything that showed you cared one fucking second about yourself, this quote wouldn’t bother you.

Honestly…like. I dont want to share me with anyone. I’ve been in situations where I was sharing myself – my loves. my interests. my damn family. And what did I get in return? Well aside from some heights in anger and blood pressure-I got a lot of bullshit in return.

So if you’re wondering if I love myself -yes of course I do. And I’m not letting anyone else love me for a long time. So like… give your brother’s number to someone else. I’d rather pay for my own buzz with people I like.