L.A. & San Francisco

Los Angeles had a gorgeous start of extraordinarily nice weather this past weekend. My best friend and I spent some time with family in Hermosa Beach and took a day trip to Beverly Hills. Being out of freezing New York City was an amazing little escape. Beaching in the winter when NYC is experiencing a snow storm is also one of the nicest feelings in the world. Sorry, NY-ers. Although this week NYC is having beautiful weather. So I obviously brought it back, you’re welcome!

We traveled up north to San Francisco for a few days to visit another bestie. My experience was delightful and S.F. is now in the running for one of my favorite cities out there. Take a look at some pics below because photos do a much better job of explaining than me rambling on about what I did.

IMG_5785
Hermosa Beach Lifeguard Stand
At this point we need to hit the beach majorly... so pale
At this point we need to hit the beach majorly… so pale
Morning run
Morning run
afternoon in Beverly Hills
afternoon in Beverly Hills
breakfast spot, hermosa beach
breakfast spot, hermosa beach
Twin Peaks at night, San Francisco
Twin Peaks at night, San Francisco
Muir Woods
Muir Woods

I fell during our hike and have a huge bruise and cut on my knee!

Sonoma Valley Wine Tasting
Sonoma Valley Wine Tasting
Meeting friends
Meeting friends

An alumni from Breezy’s school also loves wine as much as we do!

IMG_5973
Night Out in San Francisco
<3
<3, blurry but I don’t even care
Lombardy Street, #crookedest street in the world!
Lombardy Street, #crookedest street in the world!
Cable Car
Cable Car
Full House - House, Painted Ladies <3 San Francisco
Full House – House, Painted Ladies

Honestly…Breezy, Kim and I stood sat in front of the Painted Ladies for a solid 15 minutes before we decided what type of themed photo was acceptable to upload to Instagram. This photo captures the pure ridiculousness being caught in the moment. Breezy’s Instagram has the photo we chose. 🙂

Painted Ladies
Painted Ladies

Brings me back to my childhood… actually I still watch Full House often so it brings me back a few days ago.

Hyde St. Pier, San Francisco
Hyde St. Pier, San Francisco
Wine Tasting
Wine Tasting
Golden Gate Bridge
Golden Gate Bridge
Me and Uncle Charlie
Me and Uncle Charlie
Snapchat photos are cool, right?!
Snapchat photos are cool, right?!
Clift Wineries
Clift Wineries

Sometimes iPhone pictures don’t come out as good as I hope for ❤ Also my phone was dead or not on me for half of this trip so the memories will last much longer than the photos in this case. ❤

 

Advertisements

‘Grammin Play by Play

Instagram Posting Laws

Instagram-Logo-1

How often is too often? How do you want your top 9 to look? Top 9 isn’t a thing – I just want it to be – it’s basically the 9 photos that you can immediately see if you check on a person’s Instagram page on the graph mode (photo below).

Can’t post 2 selfies in a row. Or 2 food pics on a row. Or 2 of the same thing in a row. You need to create a nice balance.

Order of the 9 photos that are seen by everyone on your insta home page:

1. Random piece of furniture.
2. Selfie
3. Delicious/pretty looking food
4. Best friends doing something cool.
5. Scenery pic
6. TBT
7. Quote/words – (girls lol)
8. Dog
9. Somewhere I went with a geotag

follow me, silly!
follow me, silly!

WOMP. Basic bitch. See basics. Everything noted above is basic, LOL. #GUILTY! So basic Ash, SO. BASIC.

 

This is law for increasing likes: if you post a photo of a parent, your likes increase. Especially parents doing funny things. Like dad’s. Or grandparents –  they rule. If you post a photo of your dog, and you don’t do this daily, likes increase. Life event (engagement, graduation, job, other shit) likes increase. Cute baby that isn’t yours (or maybe is) that you also don’t upload daily (so people are excited to see it) increase. Hysterical meme of friend doing something ridiculous. Bonus points if it’s a guy. And if he’s not wearing a shirt.

Timing is everything. How you time a photo can be it’s make or break point. People open Instagram when they’re laying in bed in the morning, on lunchtime, after work and before bed. PRETTY MUCH ANYTIME, BUTTTTT BEST times to post: Weekdays: 545am12:45pm5pm,9pm. Weekends: 9am, 3-5pm.

Hashtags in the caption. Don’t do this with over 5 hashtags – it’s your hard limit. A few are okay. Bonus if they’re funny. And go well with what you’re saying. Minus points for spelling errors. And not capitalizing every new word #becauseidontalwaysknowwhatthismeansorwhenwordsendorbegin

See how annoying that is? If you absolutely MUST hashtag, do it in the comments.

How many filters on that shit betch? We know your skin doesn’t look that dull. Or that orange. So stop!

stop-it-2-650x0

Why is Kelvin even a thing? And if you use it, consider us no longer friends.
Yes, I base friendships off of Kelvin, it’s a unit of measure.

Your screenshot of iMessage convo isn’t funny. I’m sorry inside jokes are very difficult to get across on Instagram. If it’s not funny for everyone, your likes aren’t gonna be there. No recognition. Because even if I see your funny thing- which could be blatantly funny – I may not like it because I’m like “hmm what’s that about or who’s that about?” I’m too lazy to think about it and Im gonna scroll right by.

You already knew this I would imagine – I’m giving a quick refresher for all of the annoying posters on Instagram. MYSELF INCLUDED.

I know I could unfollow. But it’s not worth it because it’s just too funny to continue to follow people. Entertainment is what it’s all about and I like funny shit. I also like regular shit. Like uploading a picture of ugly ass shit because I mean… It’s funny.

Having a bad day? Bored? Obvi on Insta. Those moments are the reason we keep following those train wrecks. Nothing can perk your mood better than not double tapping a super ratchet selfie of a person you don’t know but wish you never found out existed (mostly bitches). There is hardly any quicker mood fix (aside from a cocktail or Adderall – but let’s be real, they’re not as easily accessible at your 9-5).

Hate someone? Want to hate them more? Stalk them from your friends page since they have already blocked you (they are also a hater). This can be detrimental to your health. Seeing that your life is way more tres chic is obvi a + (positive). When they do something cool that you kinda sorta wish you were doing (almost never), this is a – (negative). #InstagramSideEffectsAreREAL! 

Wondering where that guy that isn’t texting you back is? Good thing his friends non-chalantly (spelling ?) added you on Instagram that one time you met them. Because now you can peruse their Insta’s to see if he is in fact someone you should be wasting your cellular data on.

Otherwise, keep grammin and follow the rules.

xo

IMG_0274_3
GRAMMED, GRAMMIN!

Head Shots – Bang

Tremendous thanks & shout out to Bellport Web Solutions! Had a blast shooting with my girl Alexandria (@alexyadig – follow her, she’s adorable) and Dan the owner/photographer & of course, our “props.”

Alex invited me a few hours before & tells me, “You’ve got one job, Ash – bring props.” Don’t tempt me with a good time! Fruit hats. Bananas. Stella Artois. TMG Flower Halos. Funky sunglasses. Done & done. Our experience with Dan was fantastic – his studio space is great & his two French Bulldogs rule!

IMG_8901

SO, as if you guys needed more of a reason to think Alex and I were legit in love with each other, here’s another one! We look like we’re sisters posing for family portraits as a gift to our parents for their 40th wedding anniversary. With that being said, I F-ING LOVE IT. Red lips are my favorite and this photo is my absolute favorite. Alex is wearing Hourglass lipstick in “Icon.” I’m wearing Chanel lipstick in “Passion.”

IMG_8903

As always – the fruit hat NEVER FAILS.

1510541_238395263010652_54897137_n

Stunning in That Madonna Girl “The Dani” halo.

1013852_238432616340250_1816702346_n

SIGNING OFF.

I FEEL LIKE DAFT PUNK.

 

1743444_239216546261857_1518693354_n

Photo Cred: Bellport Web Solutions

Paris Photo Diary

No need to overflow your Instagram feeds, so I’ll blog my Paris adventure!

Versailles Gardens
Versailles Gardens
SURFBOARDT!
SURFBOARDT!

Shopped 'til I dropped, JK.
Shopped ’til I dropped, JK.
Pont Saint Louis - "Love Lock Bridge"
Pont Saint Louis – “Love Lock Bridge”
Monk Selfies
Monk Selfies
Photobombed at the Louvre
Photobombed at the Louvre
Wedding Ceremony at the Grand Palais
Wedding Ceremony at the Grand Palais
Posing in front of Cartier (mainly took this photo for the hot dude to the left)
Posing in front of Cartier (mainly took this photo for the hot dude to the left, who turns out to not be that hot.)
Arc de Triomph
Arc de Triomph
Fresh Squeezed OJ in the Gardens of Versailles
Fresh Squeezed OJ in the Gardens of Versailles
no patience as always #kanye
no patience as always #kanye
Notre Dame from the Lovelock Bridge
Notre Dame from the Lovelock Bridge
CitiPharma <3
CitiPharma ❤
my girrrrrrl
my girrrrrrl
Laduree Bakery
Laduree Bakery
Ghetto Statue <3
Ghetto Statue ❤
Versailles Palace
Versailles Palace
City Street
City Street
All smiles
All smiles
# RATCHET <3
# RATCHET ❤
Paris Marathon on Sunday
Paris Marathon on Sunday
Caught in the act of a Selfie
Caught in the act of a Selfie
Quick! Jump in that bush...
Quick! Jump in that bush…
Queen Nightclub
Queen Nightclub
Arc de Triomph
Arc de Triomph
Eiffel Tower
Eiffel Tower

 So many more photos, I just picked a few favorites!

GIRLS

Being a female and having interaction with other females is beyond fascinating to me. Are we always in competition with one another? Are we always looking for a friend? Are we always looking to protect ourselves? Should we be? Women hold their relationships with males and females much differently. Especially when asking for advice. I’m a firm believer in asking for advice when I’m dealing with indecision – honestly, if you’re reading this blog post I’ve probably asked you for advice before. Maybe you’ve asked me for my advice or my opinion. Maybe you didn’t, but I gave it to you anyway. Sorry in advance for when I give you advice or an opinion that you may not want to hear. Anyway, it’s human nature to care about what others think and maybe better yourself from at least their thoughts on previous experiences.

200_s

One thing that truly sometimes interests me – (this is really fucking boring because it’s always the same story) is how females confide in other females. Girls spend hours trying to help give advice to our friends when they are going trough a hard time with their boyfriend/fiancée/husband/random guy that they’re talking to. I’ve found that females will hardly EVER take the advice that other females give to them. I have countless examples in my everyday life & I’m sure you do too. Girls are fucking annoying. I sit and think to myself, “Why the fuck did I stress out about this issue you’re dealing with…FOR YOU when you ended up doing the complete opposite of what I suggested?” This is a constant. Relationships aren’t constant but advice/talking about the relationship/having to listen to the relationship is beyond constant.

As girl friends, we should really just be there to listen –  and then let them be. I’m a firm believer that at the end of the day and in the end of the decision making, the chick will always do what THEY want. DUH! Aren’t you always going to do what you want… Eventually, at least?

tumblr_m5irbiyVNV1qgnf7bo1_250

Instead we should just provide wine, and actively listen. Listen – after it’s been the 17th time you’ve heard this great and exciting story? I know. You don’t want to – I don’t either. I didn’t enjoy telling it that many times either and neither did your bestie – unless, she’s that type and loves to talk about herself. Which, I’m sorry! And, instead of offering up our great advice, wait it out. And then, don’t judge their dumb ass decision after they make it.

tumblr_mgqw86auFF1qgu742o10_r3_250

Because it’s never what you suggested. Just know this. And be okay with this.

reesewitherspoon

Reese, this is the worst thing you’ve ever said. Sorry, dolly.

Women on the other hand, will  ALWAYS take advice on how to handle girl fights.  Never their guy fights. Maybe “fight” is a harsh word—disagreements, questions, unsure moments, drunk arguments?

Example : Here’s a scenario that is potentially happening with a best friend. I have suspicions and then confirm to have found out your boyfriend has been cheating on you. SHOCKING! (to nobody). You’re pissed obviously, so you decide to do something about it. You can do as I would do – punch him in the fucking face, I mean…talk to him about it politely. JK. What I would really do is think of some conniving way to bring it up in front of him so that he knows that you know, without actually discussing it. At least make this bro shit his pants for a few days.  To the girl you’re going to think about it and think about it. It will go something like this. “Here is my advice that I prepared to give you for the past 2 nights so that I don’t offend you. I’m obviously really trying to help.” My advice : BREAK UP!  She’s devastated. She cries to you. She’s never been this miserable in her entire life.

tumblr_mg939jMoVP1r4h1ero1_500

What she does? Stays with him!!! WHAT? WHY? Because, as always – this girl did what she wanted, whether it was right or wrong. She “talked to” this guy, they’re working on things, he’s so so sorry and it will never happen again. Until it does, OBVIOUSLY!

image001355089022169vqzl97

But whatever – It’s done and it’s not your decision. It’s worthless to give your opinion about a man. Especially, never give an opinion to your best friend about her man that’s negative — because when she continues to stay with this guy, you’re going to have countless awkward encounters and now she knows how you really feel about the loser prick that she LOVES. I’ve come to a crossroads because at this point I’m like wtf. I should’ve just kept my mouth shut and not lose sleep over it and move on. In the end, girls will 100% block out what they don’t want to hear about their man. It’s basically a proven theorem and if you don’t believe me,  you’re an idiot and probably have the exact man in your life that I’m talking about.

ku-medium

However this is exceptionally different with chicks … You can give advice to your best friend about another friend like “write her a letter and buy her some wine” (basically beg for forgiveness for being a psycho betch) or “bitch her out and tell her how you really feel” (because she deserves it and if you don’t, I will). And it totally happens … Your girlfriend will take your advice much more often on this subject. They’re going to appreciate what you had to say, whether it was insightful or not and probably talk to the girl, or ignore the girl. Because we’re girls, and we KNOW how it is to be a girl. Like, WHAT? That doesn’t even make sense! But it happens. ALL THE TIME.

323b738340e7e15710aa4f3e869a91ae

I’ve started asking men for their advice regarding relationships. It still sucks, but at the very least, it’s honest. It’s not going to be what you want to hear – because it’s coming from a caveman, likely. But men are typically much more clear-minded with relationships. It’s either working or it’s not. It’s either going somewhere or not and if it’s in the in between phase, it’s going to be “worth it” to work on it, or its just not worth it.

Don’t show up to the fake shit. Leave it behind. It’s not going anywhere – you are.

tumblr_mjhifnMTRQ1rnf5opo2_r1_250

The choice is yours betch, do as you please. But remember that nice betches finish last in the game of advice & love. Speak your mind or keep it silent. XO

tumblr_memes4e4th1rj7aioo1_500