Why Men Cheat

I’ve literally been doing research on why men cheat from the moment I started dating my first boyfriend (so, Kindergarten).

Obviously, never wanting to be cheated on, but knowing that it does in fact happen – I made sure I was exceptionally cool. Really easy-going, and not annoying to boys (or anyone for that matter). Main goal is to basically not act like a girl at all. Be like “one of the guys” without actually being weird or gross. Not forcing the “center of attention” look on myself. Not letting the little things become a big thing.

I give all of my girl friends very similar advice – to remain calm, cool and let shit go! Except when I’ve found myself in positions when I can’t let shit go – this has blown up in my face. Discovering why men cheat has been rough, but it’s all a part of growing up. Females cheat too, but I don’t care about that so save your opinions for another betch.

I had the pleasure of speaking with a man who is a Grade A, top of the line, high quality and respectable dude – also, a CHEATER. No names needed and specific situations never needed, but they happened and he’s real. This is what we’ve come up with. Enjoy or don’t.

Some men are never truly happy in their lives.

To these guys, happiness is a temporary feeling. Fleeting. There’s always this search for more or what’s next. So they mask their unhappiness through a variety of methods – drinking, drugs, gambling, and yes, womanizing.

Men at times are genuinely unhappy in their relationships and with themselves, which leads them to cheat. Chasing that temporary high or that good feeling in the beginning of a hook-up. Men are babies. They’re insecure and act immature.

a betches motto <3
a betches motto ❤

Insecurity.

Men want to be able to know “they’ve still got it” or they can still “pull a hot chick.” Congrat-u-fucking-lations? Good for you, bro. I guess? But when will it ever end? When will you feel secure enough with yourself that you don’t need to cheat on the one that you’re with just to prove to your friends or to yourself that you’ve still got it? If you do in fact, still have it – fucking keep it! People will know you still have it because you’ve kept the person that you’re with. And you’re cool because you’re confident, not cocky. You know when to fire punches and you also know when to roll with the punches. And if you choose to  leave the person that you’re with, do it with some class and dignity and don’t look back.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/an-dHgZ4uY4nhu4J/the_40_year_old_virgin_2005_confrontation_at_the_store_part_2/ 

Sex is a major factor – obviously.

Men cheat because their current girlfriend is boring. Or he can’t get over me. Leading a double life gets difficult after awhile so pick a team, dude!

Men don’t want to face the reality of their sexual incompetence and dealing with a new girl allows them to escape from their real life for a little while? (Disclaimer: Maybe for some, not Exhibit A…)

Cheating can be done in two forms: physical & emotional.

Ask any sane or better, insane betch what is worse? – The guaranteed response: emotional cheating. Cheating usually becomes emotional as soon as it happens more than once – sometimes not, but the physical isn’t what gets people so worked up about it.

Like – I don’t really care if you’re sleeping with another person. What I do care about is protecting myself (from whatever you may get or have from this other person). This is the scary part about cheaters. Like if you’re going to cheat or lie about what you’re doing with others, go right ahead and be a piece of shit liar. BUT you better fucking think about the literal danger that you may be putting somebody else in. STD. Immune system killers. I think about this all the time (maybe I’m paranoid) but I think everyone else is just dumb.

He doesn’t LOVE her anymore.

Bullshit. If you feel that strongly about not loving someone anymore, you should feel strongly enough to fucking tell them. This all comes down to the insecurity. Not feeling comfortable enough with yourself that you can’t break up with somebody is awful. Being with a person isn’t the end all – marriage is not always the end of the road. Love isn’t the end.

My question is whether or not cheaters evolve? Or will a guy be a cheater forever and ever, for the rest of his life so help him, God.

Curiosity Killed the Cat

Curiosity Killed the Cat

Why are there so many cat metaphors? Ughh…

This is a Life Lesson for Everyone…

Some people DON’T love you, they don’t even care about you. They just want to stay connected to you – they love the benefits.

So, they do the minimal. A little phone call here and there. A text. Just checking/thinking about you (ppffftttt!).

WHAT THEY ARE REALLY DOING IS: MAINTAINING A CONNECTION, SO WHEN THEY NEED YOU – THEY STILL HAVE A WAY IN.

Reading people gets easier with age. Be careful of the curious and stay close and true to those true few.

Decoding The Lies!

Decoding the language of modern relationships.

Here ya go guys, I’m here to give you the “literal meanings” behind what people are saying to you. They’re reasons and excuses – excuses often times get a bad rep. This is because excuses are merely lies. There are things that betches say to cover up our true feelings or “the real reasons.”

throne_of_lies_elf

 

For example:

“I don’t want to be in a relationship.”

Real meaning: I just don’t want to be in a relationship with YOU. If somebody else comes along that I really like or that I can get away with more shit with, then I’m definitely going to date them, OK? I’m just trying not to make you feel bad. But in the meantime, I’ll still hang out with you, string you along and continue to have sex with you because it’s easy and convenient.

buzz lightyear

“We didn’t work out because of bad timing.”

Real meaning: He had a girlfriend. Or a wife.

“I want to get over him but we have a REALLY strong connection.”

Real meaning: He’s good in bed. I hate his guts, he’s partially retarded, but it’s worth it to keep him around for a little while longer because I’m not over having sex with him yet.

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

Real meaning: I hardly even want to be your friend because I can’t even stand you. There’s no way in hell I want to be your girlfriend. I also don’t want to totally remove you from my life because I may need you to do something for me at some point in the future.

“Sorry – I’ve been really busy.”

This just gives the impression that you’re so busy (you know, busier than a world leader busy) and that you haven’t had the time to contact or see them. Real meaning: “I’m not interested / I’m halfway in it / I’ve been trying to get back with my ex.” And you’re really hoping that he just ends it for you so you don’t have to “hurt feelings.”

jerry 2

The Admitting Cheater

“I need to get this off my chest – something happened last weekend. I hooked up with your friend, ______. We were drunk and it didn’t mean anything, but I just wanted you to know.”

What a piece of shit. So much so that you’re such an asshole that you’re going to run to your current girlfriend/boyfriend and admit to them that you just slept with that slut? or their best friend? or whoever the random person was. Because YOU can’t deal with it yourself. You want to bring the person who you’ve already hurt MORE INTO IT?! That’s real fucking nice. You cheated. You can’t cope with your problems. So – to make YOURSELF feel better, you’re going to tell your significant other that you cheated on them. That’s fucking smart, you silly idiot. So now you can make them feel way worse. You can feel so much better because you really needed to get that off your chest, and they’re going to have feelings of invalidity and doubt and haste because you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants. Great fucking idea – tell the world why don’t ya? Dipshit.

Real meaning: I’m the biggest idiot alive and never talk to me again because I have no backbone and a small penis, OBVIOUSLY.

babe-i-know-what-it-looked-like

Apology Accepting

“I’m so sorry. I’ll never do it again. I know I said that last time, but I’m really serious and I really love you and you’ve got to trust me.” 

Real meaning: “Look, can you hurry the fuck up and accept my apology so I can stop feeling bad about it? You perceiving me as wronging/hurting/abusing/whatever you think is really inconvenient and my ego does NOT like this reality. So if you don’t mind, get over the fucked up shit I did to you, accept my apology and let’s move on so I can get my sex life & perfect image back.” I basically want to get back to doing exactly what I always do. Also, be sure to reduce your expectations of a relationship with me immediately.

VIBE-Vixen-ExBoyfriendsBeLike2

Behind every excuse is the real reason.

“You’ll know you’re in a healthy relationship when you don’t have to listen to excuses or make excuses. Instead of accepting excuses, start accepting the reasons.”

Singles Discrimination

It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there yo. I don’t even know what that means but what I do know is that I’m annoyed. Because I’m discriminated against. It’s because I’M SINGLE.

I’m saying that I’m discriminated against….. because I’m single! Yes I said it twice because I don’t fucking understand this and I’m trying to figure it out. How messed up is that? Are you discriminating against me because you’re jealous of me? Ummmm…I guess I know. But like, really? It’s happened to me multiple times lately and I’m over it.

I can’t take the fact that I’m not taken seriously because I don’t have a significant other. Are you kidding me? Sorry I don’t need a man to make me whole. Maybe I do, but I just don’t have one at the current moment. So, sorry not sorry? It annoys me when I don’t get invited to do things because they’re known as “couples” things and the groups felt bad inviting me because I would feel out of place? Since when do you think I would feel out of place around anybody? #awkward

Why are we judged based on who we’re with? Like you’re not going to invite me to your wedding with a date because I don’t have a serious enough boyfriend for you? OK COOL, THANKS! So besides the true fact that I don’t have a serious boyfriend – you’re going to rub it into my face and make me show up somewhere (to your wedding) with not only not having a boyfriend and being surrounded with people who do have significant others and your new husband or wife, but that I don’t even have a shitty date by my side. That’s a real feel good moment for the singles. Ugh – annoying.

It’s also assumed that because I don’t have a serious enough boyfriend that I’m always down to party or that I’m constantly searching for a new boyfriend. So I do like to party but I don’t always like to party. I don’t search for boyfriends, but I’m always game for meeting new & interesting people. So let me ask you a question: CAN I LIVE?!

Why is it that I’m shunned from certain groups of people because they do things as “couples?” F that. When I do find my new boyfriend  (remain single for the rest of my life) I’ll call all of you guys up and invite you to do really amazing couples things with me. NOT.

I’m bitter, huh?

Ok, back to loving me. xo

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Street Art in Paris ❤

Daily Etiquette for Everybody- According to Me.

IMG_8717There are some things that people do that just get UNDERNEATH my skin. Way under there. So far under that I’m basically cringing and it feels like leeches are sucking my blood. I’m dramatic, I know. Fair warning – complaints on complaints listed below.

The way I feel about etiquette is quite similar to the way that the dictionary has words spelled. It should be correct, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Line Proximity – The “Too Close for Comforts”

Step away from the… ME! Please let me breathe and stop standing so close to me that I can feel your breath.

“As far as I’m concerned, people are informally allowed a two-foot radius of empty space that strangers should not cross. Why does no one follow this? Sometimes, when I’m standing in line, the eager person behind me moves forward so quickly, before I know it, I’m wearing said person as a backpack.” – The Man Repeller

Shouters

Like hi, I get the fact that you’re having a really exciting conversation with the person sitting next to you. I get the fact that you may be intoxicated or may not be, but really?! Shut up. Nobody else in this small area of a LIRR train wants to hear about the carrots that your 3 year old child had for dinner last night. Nobody, ever! Pipe down.

Conversationalists in Small & Awkward Spaces

Elevator commentator. Sir, why do you want to be both awkward and fake in that small cramped space? Please, for the love of God, just don’t talk to talk … “Pretty sunny out there!” No shit! I don’t know you and also don’t give a shit. You don’t need to talk to me just because we’re in the same space. And if you really did want to talk because you’re feeling awkward, THAT comment did not make it less awkward. Failed attempt.

Squatters versus Sitters 

See previous post regarding peeing in public places. Keep it tidy, people.

Rhetorical Questionnaires

Stop asking me questions that you know the goddamn answer to. Just because you want to hear yourself talk, does not mean that I do.

The “After You” People

Thanks, dude. Its understood that you’re being courteous because I’m a female and allowing me to do something first.  But do you really need to make a huge deal out of the fact that you’re being overly polite and/or courteous? Must you let it be known?! “No, no! After you!” Great, thanks. Now if I don’t take your kind gesture nicely, I look like a bitch in public. Maybe the reason I don’t want you to let me walk in front of you is because I don’t want you staring at my ass. Or I don’t want to be looked at by you at all- so just continue on your way and I’ll walk at whatever speed I please.

The Cutters

I’m walking in to a store and I’m obviously in a rush because who isn’t? Sometimes, I’m feeling like really nice and I hold the door for somebody. Like maybe they’re elderly, or maybe they’re just about to reach the door at the same point in time as I am and I’m just feeling courteous. And they walk in ahead of me – like a freakin’ split second because I was nice enough to hold the door for them or let them walk in first. And they take it in stride and continue to CUT me?! Sure, go right ahead and walk in first, but you better fucking offer me to go ahead of you on the line in the pharmacy, or to reach the bank teller first, or whatever else it may be. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t do this, because it’s polite. And you’re welcome for not slamming the door in your face or awkwardly hip-checking you to get to the register before you do because that’s what I actually WANT to do.

The Smelly Guy 

I’m sorry, have you showered this week month year?! I just got into your cab, because you are providing a SERVICE to me. You’re driving me from Point A to Point B. And it fucking smells like a raccoon crawled up under the hood of your car and fucking died. Please drop me off at the next fucking corner because I cannot stand the smell of your vehicle and I may add to the stench by throwing up my lunch all over the backseat. How can you operate a “business” whilst being smelly? Do not understand.

The Double Triple Checker

People have little faith in other people. It’s difficult to, in a world where everybody is ‘out to get you’ and we’re all so self-centered. I’m not exactly the best example of this because I don’t totally follow this rule because, I firmly believe that people are idiots. BUT – I am not one (usually). When I’m at work and I’m asked to do something, I do it. When I’m reminded to do something, I abso-fucking-lutely do it. Thanks for checking in with me 3 or more times to make sure that something gets done, because after the 4th or 5th time that you ask or remind me, I’m going to pretend like I have no idea what you’re talking about or actually not do it because you’ve allowed yourself to annoy me beyond belief. Just trust me – bye.

Introductions

Please do the right thing here – don’t make anybody around you feel uncomfortable. The correct form of introduction can really make any social setting much more pleasant.  At an event or party, the intro immediately puts people at ease and can enhance the experience for everyone! Hey adorable guy from work <name>, this is my bestie <name>, you both have this really great thing in common. Easy!  In business, they can open doors to networking – who doesn’t love networking? And everywhere else, they are just good form for those involved – an opportunity to connect and bring people together. The key to a great introduction is taking time to highlight interests or qualities complimentary to each person, and to be inclusive… You never know who you yourself may meet in the process.

Table Manners

Oh, I’m probably going to save an entire post for this one! <excited face> Key points are: say please, say thank you, don’t speak while chewing, wipe your face, wait your turn, take reasonable sized bites. Follow these and you’ll be OK until I post my specific table manners piece.

Technology During Inappropriate Times

There’s a time and a place – for everything. Checking your Twitter, Facebook, Instagram – (if you’re not following me by now, absolutely DO SO IMMEDIATELY) should be done in the correct setting. AKA don’t do this while driving. Traffic lights are not appropriate for this (learned from experience). Dinner plans are not appropriate either. Best times – morning when you wake up, when you have a few free minutes during the day, and before bed at night. Don’t be checking your Insta while at work and trying to provide a service to ME because I’ll let you know how inappropriate it is and make you feel exceptionally dumber than you actually are. Warning.

I can go on for a long time, but look for more installations regarding etiquette ASAP!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes – Insight about Love

Blog Written by: Anonymous /// Blog Edited by: Me, obviously…

These days friendship and love are as long lasting as a piece of Juicy Fruit (best flavor, yet worst gum ever).  With a swipe to the left we can remove people, things, pictures, and memories.  Where do these friendships really exist though? With life moving so fast, technology moves even faster. We forget the morals. The good stuff in life. The moments that should be cherished are Instagrammed (made that word up – look for it in Webster’s in like 6-8 weeks) #selfie. But really.  Even just today I came to a very serious decision regarding a somewhat unhealthy situation that was eating me alive while benefiting the other party. I decided I didn’t want that anymore – so within a few exchanges of text message the situation was over. Again. We were no longer fuck buddies. So that’s cool. But really -over text, why?! Well because I would have had to deal with the feelings eating me up inside for a whole week until he decided that he wanted to see me naked again. And by that time I would have somewhat dulled the feelings I am having now-and would certainly partake in the activity that leaves me feeling exactly the way I’m feeling right now-DUMB. Stupid. Hiding my feelings. Of no value. Unloved. Used. Hopeful.

Hopeful that I would be able to cross all previous feelings away & let go in to this to be happy and in love because we fit so well together.

I’m realizing that there are things you can compromise in relationships-of any kind. But the promises we make to ourselves are the most important. Breaking those promises is just — flat out, fucking stupid. I promised myself a long time ago that I never wanted to feel that way again and if something or someone made me feel that way…I would text them and tell them “I’ll ttyl, k. cuz like I like u and I don’t wanna lol”.  And really. I didn’t want to text that at 11:40 AM on the 3rd Sunday in March. But I did. How do I feel about it?

I feel. Sad at first. But his answer-made me feel happy. Clarity from the nothingness of what this has been for so long. I was the one keeping myself there…its not that he ever let me go…he never had me. I wanted him to have me though. That’s the problem in life. People always want what they don’t have. Can’t have. Won’t have. We spend our whole lives trying to be better. Get better. Live better. This is all great – in fact if we didn’t try to be better life would suck capital D. But-maybe we need to also appreciate what’s standing in front of us once in a while.  And appreciate it for what it is.  I sometimes think we try to make situations and relationships into something that they aren’t. And then we build this little “house of hope” on top of this situation and lock ourselves inside, crying & stalking Instagram. Or maybe, we open up all the doors and windows and clean house for Spring. 

middle finger

 Somebody sent me this awhile ago to post – I’ve held on to it up until this very moment because – it is so relevant to my life today. Staying in today. Looking forward to Spring Cleaning. xox

Blog Written by: Anonymous /// Blog Edited by: Me, obviously…