Mercury’s Back At It

Mercury is going Retrograde (AGAIN!)

Friday, October 3 – Saturday, October 25th

If you’re familiar with my motto on life – it’s just this:

Sweatshirt Available in my Poshmark store - link on the right! Also more available - so message me if interested!
Baron von Fancy Print Sweatshirt Available in my Poshmark store – link on the right! Also more available – so message me if interested!

“Mercury was in Fucking Retrograde” and I’m sticking to it! Has your life been completely messed up over the past few days or weeks? Lots of messed up shit happening to you? I lost my wallet, ID, makeup, phone, boyfriend? Was I more excessively bitchy to you than usual?

“Oh, sorry! Mercury was retrograde last week and I’m just getting over it!” – Me

Excuses, but reality. #BetchesInRetrograde

After a scheduled 1.5 hour private reading in her Brooklyn apartment turned into a 4 hour reading and connection with Rebecca Gordon of My Path Astrology, I left with a new found respect, interest and mild obsession with astrology. The beautiful, highly talented and motivationally guiding Rebecca Gordon, who I highly recommend, who came upon me with high recommendations has given me an experience that I cherish dearly. And that I will absolutely return to again. Rebecca Gordon’s mentor, Susan Miller of AstrologyZone.com has a fab recently updated app for iPhone that I’m also very much into!

Side tracked, obviously. RE-Enter, retrograde. 

After reading this article by Robert Wilkinson, found via this easy-to-read article, I have such a better point of view of Mercury retrograde. The author puts such a happy and positive spin on how Mercury going retrograde can affect us. He emphasizes on what to look for, instead of what to look out for. How to embrace the challenges we’re going through as growth – instead of advice to remain stagnant and not make any decisions, especially big ones.

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Recently I’ve been extremely reception and giving of positive advice about typically shitty situations. Not that the situation during Mercury retrograde is really shit – because you don’t always realize it is – until after the fact…

in REFLECTION. 

We all need a nice reflection period sometimes. Instead of looking at the next few weeks as a standstill – (ex: waiting until October 26 to act upon something) – use it as a time and place to goal-set. To review previous decisions and learn the most you can from them. Get your shit together. Get some ideas flowing. Test them out on the most important person you know – yourself.

Reflection brings reality to a head. “Use it as a bridge between old and new…”

Mercury goes retro in Scorpio (my sign) which prob means something super chaotic. and ultra chic (for me). Maybe new loafers I just bought…

Whatever it may be – I love a little chaos. I cannot wait for the next month ahead. Rehearse. Do Research. Figure out what’s coming in for you mid-November. I’m having a strangely great feeling about heading into this viewed “reversal”of Mercury.

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* I am not an astrologer and in no way do I believe to be one. You know me – just a random betch writing random thoughts about shit that I love. Enjoy or don’t. If I’m wrong, I kind of don’t care. Xx ❤

Best Friend VS. Bestie

As many betches know, the difference between a “bestie” and a best friend is MAJOR.

My prob is that I tend to call many people my “bestie” and I just don’t want to give anybody the wrong idea here, so I’ll clarify.

A best friend holds a much stronger responsibility than a bestie. Yet a best friend can always be referred to as a bestie, no questions asked. On the other hand, some besties will never achieve the title of best friend no matter what they do.

Your best friend is that personyou know who they are and they know who they are. You can def, 100%, totes have more than 1 best friend in your life. And in different contexts for that matter. But one thing is for sureeee, they will ALWAYS have the same qualities. And usually in your mind, you know there is a 1st place holder. This person is your soulmate basically. They know you so well – like better than your future husband or wife because they have known you forever and you’ve spent far too much time together.

A bestie can be classified into various categories of people you know. A bestie can be a close friend, a regular friend, one of your betches, and the term can even be used as an endearing comment toward someone you like a lot but aren’t even that close with. WHY THE FUCK AM I WRITING ABOUT BESTS VS. BESTIES?! 

A friend called me out on naming him a “bestie” this weekend and we started to compare. He told me I should make a Vennix Square…. UM?. ?. ?.  Yup. WTF is that? It’s exactly what it sounds like. Brendan is an extremely intelligent individual, however – he is definitely the type who would know where roofies would come from. That guy. 😉 totes kidding, bestie! Whatever – a Vennix Square is the combination of a Punnet Square, Venn Diagram & a Rubik’s Cube. This does not make sense, whatsoever. But in short, he meant a Venn Diagram and I’ll try to explain.

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Design & Photo Credit: Brendan Sixer

In fact, his Venn Diagram is incorrect because nothing is actually being compared and should be drawn as listed below.

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Bests vs. Besties Venn Diagram * (corrected by yours truly).

I’ll tell my besties everything, but I’ll tell my best friend WHY I told them everything. As always, it’s all about perception.

There’s a difference … and just because I name you as my bestie does NOT mean you don’t qualify as a best friend. You may be that. Or more.

Overall, bestie is simply a term of endearment that’s catchy and easy to use. And I’m obsessed with it.

How To: Get What You Want – Part THREE

HOW TO: Get What You Want

Yes, there’s 3 parts. No, there shouldn’t be.

But I had to break this information up into 3 blog posts. Because I’m not about giving you all of the information easily. And for dramatic effect (see Part 2).

But this is how you’re going to make people GLAD to do what you want. They’re going to be begging you to do exactly what you want them to do.

money cannot buy

Start off with compliments! Praise the person and appreciate what they’re doing for you. “You’re very beautiful, I really like the way that you do your eye makeup.” “Next time you’re doing it though, can you make sure to clean up the powder that’s left behind all over the sink?” It’s much easier to hear unpleasant things after you hear something positive about yourself.

Indirectly criticize. Don’t say a word to the idiot that isn’t doing his job at work. Do it for him… step right in and let him look on as you complete the task. Once he catches on that you’re there, acting on something – you let him finish. He will feel it – he’ll know what he did was wrong. He’ll respect you for not talking to him like an inferior, but allowing him to not do what he should have been doing. Reward people for their idiocy. Let them get away with it – but also let them KNOW they were an idiot. Change your “BUT’s” to “AND’s.” Failure is washed away. Get rid of the but – it changes the tone.

Talk about yourself (easy), but talk about your mistakes FIRST. It’s easy to criticize somebody – but also, think about WTF they know or don’t know. If you’re an expert (or you consider yourself one), other people don’t know as much shit as you do. OBVIOUSLY. So take it easy – and instead of making someone feel dumb with “WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT, IT’S ALL WRONG!” have some compassion. “OMG, I DID SOMETHING SO SIMILAR WHEN I FIRST STARTED DOING THAT. ONCE I MESSED UP THIS ENTIRE THING… TRY THIS, IT’S HELPFUL!”

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. “Have you ever thought of…?” or “Do you think this would work…” Nobody likes to be barked at. Or be given orders. You definitely get what you want much easier if you give some options. You give opportunity to people to do things for themselves and it boosts self-esteem. It also removes the feeling of resentment.

If somebody sucks at something, let them do something that they’re actually good atDon’t highlight the shitty job a person is doing. Take a minute and think of something that they do really well – sometimes it is not AT ALL whatever you want them to do. However, something completely different – sometimes better! Have that person do that – it will be better for them and embarrass them way less. This is “feel good shit” people!

“Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.” Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.” Praise is what makes people better – positive reinforcement – not negative. Keep going!! Praise can truly change a person’s life. With a little bit of encouragement, a person can really go places. As for getting what you want, successful people make successful surroundings. You can really move mountains with a positive message in the life of a friend, colleague or subordinate. They’ll remember the feeling you left them with. Always. People are thirsty, quench their thirst.

Reputation – it’s all about a person’s reputation. Once you give somebody a really great reputation to live up to – they’re going to. You create a situation where you force a person to compare their own life back to themselves. Sometimes this is difficult to face, but ultimately, it’s rewarding. Great leading tactic, really. Let somebody live up to their previous self – it’s easy to give a bit of suggesting advice this way.

Encourage and make the shitty shit they did seem super easy to correct. It gives people the desire to improve. Please help them, do it for the greater good of the world.

Make the person happy to do exactly what you want them to do. Give them some reward or recognition. Don’t let them down but suggest cool things about it! Don’t give them the opportunity to not be excited about it. Your request should really make the other person have the idea that they will personally benefit. Consider what they will gain, and let them gain it.

“My popularity, my happiness and sense of worth depend to no small extent upon my skill in dealing with people.” – Dale Carnegie

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Based on: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Weekday Manicure: Rad Nails

“OMG I really really want a tattoo!” – dumb girls, everywhere…

And here I am again, solving your white girl problems. 😉

So here’s a cute way you can get a new tattoo without actually getting one. Fucking genius. obv.

I hear betches say things like this all the time…

“I want another tattooooooo!” “Let’s get matching tattoos!” “I want a lotus flower tattoo.” “I want a tattoo but I don’t know what I’d get.” OK, boring…

Here’s your answer – fake fucking tattoos, ummm duh.

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Cuticle tattoos. How interesting.

I saw these bad boys from Rad Nails on Twitter (probs?) and had to try them out. They make 3 types of cuticle tattoos so I naturally purchased all 3 styles. Brought them to my manicurist Cindy to put them on me because I can’t do this shit on my own.

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UMMM…. these are much more difficult than we both thought! After several attempts, Cindy just got frustrated, telling me that these were “weird” and not like the ones from China that she uses. I, of course had NO freakin’ time to be getting this detailed of a manicure to begin with…

So – we agreed she forcefully told me that she was just going to paint the exact replicas on my nails and call it a day. The design is cute – though not my style at all. Maybe I’ll try Rad Nails again one day when I have a LOT of time and patience.

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frank body ♥

♥ frank body is the babe.

the babe of all babe’s.

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“get naked, get dirty, get rough, get clean.”  is the hot slogan of this sexy and clean skincare regime. frank is a coffee scrub that’s made in 2 formulas: “original” and “coconut & grapeseed.” I purchased the coconut & grapeseed formula because I’m less partial to orange (original).

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Frank is natural & vegan and is known for scrubbing away dry skin, moisturizing, cleansing & clarifying. Frank is the man! He targets cellulite, stretch marks, psoriasis, varicose veins, eczema and acne. What more can you ask for in a man?! 

Frank is made from ground Arabica coffee beans, cold pressed sweet almond oil, sugar and sea salt. They all have amazing healthful qualities and will 100% change the feel of your skin.

After using frank – I found that my skin was extremely soft for days on end! Definitely smelled like a latte after getting out of the shower! Whether you like the smell of coffee or not, you’re going to LOVE what frank can do for your skin. Plus it’s fun. 🙂

Because everybody else is doing it…

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Check out frank’s insta for super hot babes getting dirty with frank.

#letsbefrank

#frankbody

#frankfurt

love this Fake it blog on the frank body website. ❤

Clear Skin Please?! RMS Beauty Oil

Skincare is important because faces are noticed first – LE DUH!

Midway through my twenties (AHHH, I know!…calm down.. breathe) I’ve noticed that my skin is changing a bit. I’ve been recommended to try face oils instead of my typical face creams as moisturizers.

Oil products contain essential fatty acids that skin needs to stay hydrated. Oil also acts as a barrier, protecting against extreme temps (sunshine – for all of us sunbathers), dry climates & over-cleansing.

If you couldn’t already tell, I have a ridiculous obsession with skincare and beauty products. RMS Beauty has a TO-DIE-FOR beauty oil that after receiving a sample of – I ABSOLUTELY NEEDED. OBVI.

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Here’s a little FYI about your face & oil. Skin oil is MUCH DIFFERENT than plant oils! RMS Beauty Oil bridges the gap between the two. SORRY THIS IS BORING, but I’ll give you a quick 411. When your oil content isn’t balanced, your skin starts pumping out sebum (basically it’s stuff that clogs pores & causes breakouts). Eww. SOOOO – when you cleanse your face a million times because you have breakouts, you’re stripping your skin’s natural oils. Your skin reacts by producing more oil to compensate for what’s been lost. That sucks, huh?! But it makes sense.

A quality face oil like RMS Beauty Oil will replenish your skin with essential fatty acids & moisture! Win. When the oil balance is back in check, those overactive sebaceous glands (yeah that’s a freakin’ weird word and no, I didn’t make it up) can take a break & your skin will get healthier and definitely clearer.
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The RMS beauty oil is a higher end oil – and as with most all of my opinions – quality is worth paying a higher price for. At $74.00 per bottle (I used a 20% off coupon code for Earth Day!), this oil is providing you with everything that your skin needs. All organically & naturally. AND IT’S LIGHTWEIGHT. You’ll only need about 3 drops to rub into your face (day & night), so your 30 mL bottle will go a long way!

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My skincare obsession continues…

Diptyque – Baies or “Bae” ♥

Diptyque scented candles are among the best scented candles in this world – made from high quality vegetable/paraffin wax that burn cleanly & evenly. I went into the Diptyque shop in Soho (lower Manhattan – a few storefronts from Cafe Gitane) and explored a ton of fragrances. The shop assistant was extremely friendly and super helpful with my 21 questions about everything!

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Tip: (I learned this from the girl in the store) If you want to get a really good idea of the scent: tip the glass upside down and knock it against your hand so the wax comes out and then have a sniff! By doing this you can get a true impression of the fragrance rather than sniffing the top of the candle which has been exposed to the air and probably doesn’t smell as strong. Great idea and she did it to basically every scent in the store for me!

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Diptyque Soho Boutique

I went in knowing that I already loved the scent of Baies – which apparently smells like a bouquet of roses and blackcurrent leaves. Whatever that means, I just think it smells divine! And it’s pronounced “bae” – I mean, obviously I love that shit!

After almost going for Tubéreuse – definitely a more nighttime and sexy scent, I ended up with my Baies. Tubéreuse will be my next scent from Diptyque.

At $60.00 for a Standard Size candle – $30 for a votive size, it’s steep – but worth it! Such amazing scents & long lasting! To keep these pricey candles lasting even longer, make sure you always trim the wick nice & shore. Also – the first time you light this baby, put it in the freezer before the first light – the freeze somehow stops the candle from burning as quickly.

Diptyque makes about 50 different scents – they’re split into 5 categories: Fruity, Floral, Herbal, Spicy and Woody. They are all packaged in the clear glass tumblers with the trademark black and white labels – so chic. 

Highly recommend -another one of my favorites. I’ll be burning my “bae” all night long. Except not, as I’m too nervous to keep him on all night long because house burning down. Duh.

 

Parisian Beauty Haul Part 2

Paris Beauty Haul Part Deux

Homeoplastine & Biafine

Before I went to Paris I thought it would be a good idea to go to a tanning salon so I wouldn’t look like I was translucent. POOR CHOICE, Ash. I think it was a mixture of me taking an antibiotic prescription the day before I tanned & the fact that I went on a run to the tanning place and sweaty… and just bad. Anyway, I got a heinous burn on my back.

Homeoplasmine & Biafine have saved my back in a few short days. Homeoplasmine is a oil or vaseline based and is great for minor cuts & burns. All of this stuff is prescription strength so it blows products like Neosporin out of the water. Biafine is a prescription strength cream – smells great and softens even the roughest of skin. Great on sunburns! And my back looks normal again. 😉IMG_9572

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BioRecept Hydra’ Fluide

This moisturizer is meant for all skin types. It penetrates the skin quickly and doesn’t leave any thick residue which is a make or break for me! NO greasiness, yay! Skin is getting softer by the minute. I’m really only doing it for the #flawless #IWokeUpLikeThis Instagram selfie. duh! And a great price of €16,90.

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BioRecept Gommage de Peau

This is a masque & exfoliation product combo that also works as a cleanser. You can use this a few times a week or even every day if you feel it’s necessary. The exfoliation does not contain any hard particles so it’s completely soft and will not irritate skin. Great for acne prone skin.

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 Lierac Anti-Blemish Mattifying Fluid

My absolute favorite moisturizer from my trip to Paris! The mattifying qualities in the moisturizer leave my skin feeling so super soft while still working super hard at battling any blemishes that I do have. Use after a cleanser day & night. I wish I would have purchased like 10 of these!

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Klorane Makeup Remover Wipes

Was beyond excited to see these beautiful paraben-free, fragrance-free wipes in Paris! I use these regularly, from a boutique skincare place in Roslyn and spend over $20.00 on them. Talk about a huge bargain for me at ONLY €4! For me, anyways. I love the way they feel and they do a great job of removing any excess makeup after washing my face the 1st time. Great for the gym or at the end of night out.

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SO MANY GREAT PRODUCTS FROM PARISIAN PHARMACIES ❤

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Stay soft. & beautiful! 

Avocado Toast at Cafe Gitane

Avocado Toast at Cafe Gitane

My love for anything avocado has deepened after dining at Café Gitane on Mott Street. Shopping in Soho gets tiring and this girl gets hungry quite easily. Also, low blood sugar. A friend of a friend recommended that I “must go to Cafe Gitane to try their avocado toast, get a coffee and relax in the middle of the afternoon. It’s an easy place to sit back and people watch. It’s. So. YUM.” My eyes perked right up and headed there immediately. Avocado Toast?! What is this?!?!!!?!?! MUST TRY ASAP. This is the only place to get the absolute best avocado on toast. This version comes on thick, hearty multi-grain toast, with lemon juice, olive oil and red pepper flakes. Literally, nothing beats Café Gitane’s version — a little salt and heat mixed with the creaminess of the avocado makes it extremely satisfying. AND SO YUM! Highly recommend. The really sweet waitress even charged my iPhone while I was seated at the bar. Cappuccino was delish as well. Highly recommend, especially to avocado lovers and foodies all around.

Beauty is in the Eye of the Tinder Account Holder

“I learned that to live in the moment, you need a concrete heart. I learned that falling asleep next to a new person requires Ambien. That you will be judged by your morning music. That if you make breakfast, you are considered charming.” — Dina Nayeri, on being in a new relationship…

Much to my dismay, I’m going to admit to have downloaded Tinder. The dating app that’s apparently a glorified forum for people to hook up? I’ve heard the stories. And the nightmares. I’m over it, already – not my style.

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It’s a story of gains and losses. Gains: I’ve gained a bunch of Instagram followers (I’m kidding, like 7) and I feel so flattered by all of the men boys  guys? creeps on there that think I’m good looking….COOOOOOOOOL. Can’t take it seriously, I just can’t. I’ve perused through the app about a dozen or so times and have had quite a few hysterical conversations with people. I wouldn’t even count them as conversations – more like I’ve received a bunch of hysterical comments from people. I want to upload them, but maybe inapprop’s. I should also be a little bit private, right?

I don’t really get the hype. I mean the concept is great for people who are in that state of mind – looking for a quick booty-call if you’re too lazy to actually go out and meet somebody. Or you don’t have any friends who are willing to introduce you to their friends as potential dates. Who am I kidding — it’s fucking funny. I basically use Tinder as an ego-boost or if I’m feeling less than 100% confident – or sad, or over it. Gives you somebody to talk to at basically any time of day that you’re bored.

This video kills.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. WTF does that even mean? If you have pretty eyes, you’re basically in there like swimwear? Great job for you if you can see the beauty in a person? OK. Beauty is what you make of it? Beautiful things are completely subjective and everybody has a different definition of what that is?

Bingo. Which is why Tinder is maybe a great way for people who are totally not connected to get in touch with each other just based on if they like the way the other person looks? Or more so, the way they present themselves in the 7 photos they can upload onto the app? Because even if I think you’re a really good looking person, this does not mean that I would ever want to have a conversation with you. But you swiped “right” on my photo as well, so now we can chat.

I mean, I guess it’s not much different than any other form of social media used as a dating platform – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. We all post photos of ourselves, our friends, our lives – it’s all out there. This is just a slightly more creepy and barbaric way to express interest in a particular person in a mildly private manner. Unless I see a photo of a person that I know and take a screenshot and send it to my besties wondering WHY this person is on Tinder? Or OMG look! This person is on Tinder too! Or… when you give a person that you know a courtesy swipe to the right meaning you’re interested JUST TO SEE if they swiped you right as well – AND THEY DID. How awkward. And then they talk to you as if you both don’t know that you could easily text message one another because you probably have each other’s phone #’s from back in the 7th grade.

No need to fear for my life over here, people. No need. I’m just fine. I haven’t gone crazier than originally anticipated. My Tinder career is short-lived. Loss: Especially after some creep approached me at a bar last week saying he’s been watching me for the past 2 hours because he definitely knows me from Tinder. Then proceeded to tell me things about myself that he knows from obviously freakin’ stalking me.

Thanks pal – I’m good over here. By myself. Talk to ya later never.