I don’t really think about being bullied on a regular basis – or ever, really. Until recently, when I’ve literally been assaulted several times by several men on the subway or in other public places.
Before you start assuming anything insane, let it be known that I’m completely OK, I’m totally safe and I am not suffering any mental or emotional damage, aside from the regular. 😉
But really, I’ve been violated on the subway by ultimate creepers twice this month – both on the same action – weird butt grabbers. Let it also be known that I am NOT one of those happy-go-lucky subway riders… I don’t smile at people – not children, not grandparents, and especially not disgustingly gross men, OK? AKA, there’s no “flirting” coming from my end. Further, I am so not a fan of this type of harassment that I make it so absolutely known that the person is wrong and try to vocally shame them and make them look like pieces of shit in front of as many people as I possibly can. (Takes long, deep breath…) I feel as if it’s a duty of mine to shame people who deserve to be shamed. The following simple, yet loud statement will suffice: “Don’t you ever F*ing touch me again you dirty, disgusting PERVERT. I’ll cut your fingers right off your hand!” Maybe aggressive, but maybe necessary. Then he has to sit there while myself and others on the crowded subway give him dirty looks until he gets off the subway.
Two weeks ago I was assaulted (I think that is the proper word to use) by a complete stranger while I was walking through a rather empty Chipotle Mexican Restaurant. I was violently swung at and hit in the arm by a man that was much larger than me, for no apparent reason at all. He later screamed in my face, after I questioned this barbaric human that, “You was textin'” OH! – ok, psycho. I forgot that texting warrants abuse to strangers. Understood. NOT. I maybe should have called the police, but like – what? To sit around and waste an hour of my life to report the crime after the guy had already ran away because he’s clearly a child, or deranged or something just so I can have a report written up? I mean, maybe. Maybe it would have stopped him from hitting another random humans due to his unhappiness or psychotic behavior. Who knows.
Point is that specifically women, but people in general are abused, assaulted, sexually or not in public places in NYC and all over, all the time. It’s one of those things where you may think, “Oh, that won’t happen to me…,” but it just may. It happened to me! Don’t stand for it. Speak up, tell somebody. I told a bunch of people and at the least, it strikes awareness. My awesome co-workers got me flowers, a teddy & chocolate to cheer me up after the Chipotle lunchtime incident. At the ultimate, very least a cheer-up is in order!
Even better, your boyfriend may buy you pepper spray as a Christmas gift to ensure protection while in sketchy situations. Obviously an ass grab on the subway is maybe not reason enough to engage in pepper spraying, but your chops are! AKA – cause a scene.
Update, 1/19/2016: FYI, after reading this article from Gothamist, I learned that NYPD SVU is now investigating all subway-related sexual abuse and you can file any complaints via this link!